Ok, so today I had two interviews! One was at Kinko's and the other was at Axe Music. Both went extremely well and Kinko's said they would call me in the next day or so and I start training at Axe on Friday. I am SOOOO pumped! The people seem nice and it is a good environment (especially by comparison to my old job)!!!
Yesterday was a pretty eventful day...
I had some stuff I needed to take care of, including officially resigning from my old job so I went down and did that in person. As it turns out, when I got there, the officer who has been handling my case was there as my former boss hadn't put the outside and inside surveillance footage on the CD, just the outside so he had come back for the inside stuff. It's hard to make a poster of a person't face without a face shot. *rolling eyes* When I got there, the carwash was closed... apparently the chain on the track had broken in 4 spots... Sorry, I laughed! *rotflmao*
I ran some other errands, including finding out about exchanging my djembe, dropping John off lunch, meeting Brian (Bryan?) and Porkchop and then stopping by my mom's school. I had a package for Holly that is a grad gift that had been sitting here for a long time but I finally took it over to DHL to send it to her. I also went and put gas in the van and got groceries.
I ended up having a drink (I had Sprite... I'm crazy...! :D) with an old friend and we spent a few hours talking... I got the chance to see where he is living and hear about what has been going on with him. It was nice to see him, I have missed spending time with him.
I got home really late and went straight to bed and then got up this morning for my first interview. After the interview, I picked Adrienne up from school and we drove around and talked for a while about life. It has been a while since we have had that chance and it was good to see her and spend time with her with no major distractions. We came back home for a bit and I showed her some of the random photo's from TEC, Ben's birthday party and her grad (which I attended because she asked me to be there... I was SO flattered...) and then I dropped her off on my way to my second interview. After the interview, I exchanged the djembe and then came home... Now, I am watching Glory Road and I am trying not to bounce off the walls! I am going swimming tonight and I think I might try to have a nap for an hour before I go out... :)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
"A Black Cloud"???
So last weekend, I called my boss on Sunday night and she asked me if I have a "black cloud" over my head. See, the past couple of weeks have been... Interesting.
So, I got to work and one of the days it poured midday, she decided to send some of us home. I had gotten stuck in traffic that morning and with my dark interior, I leave the windows on my car open a tiny bit so a little bit of air can circulate. That day, I parked, realized the wondows were shut, opened them a bit and ran to be on time. After it bucketed, I ran to my car and the doors were slightly wet. I figured the sluggishness of the windows could be attributed to that. Then I looked in the ignition. In the process of rolling up my windows, I had left my keys in the ignition and the key turned to the "on" position. Not started but "on" so that I could roll my windows down. Boy, did I feel dumb. Even more so when I had to call AMA to come and boost my car. (I'd like to point out that I own booster cables but John borrowed them and they are currently in our gp's car which is in having the transmission replaced...)
So, later that same week, my alarm didn't go off and I was late for work (not sure why it didn't go off, my clock was flashing 12:00 but the rest of the house seemed to be fine :S ???)
On the Sunday, I showed up at work to be greeted with, "it's SO good to see you!" (I'm almost positive this person hates me...) "You aren't scheduled to be here but I'm glad you are because now we can open!" (For anyone who doesn't know, I HATE this job...) I worked the entire shift while waiting to hear from a good friend who I had told to call me if she needed me because she was dealing with some stuff and at the end of my shift, as I went to finish my cash out in the store, I dropped my stuff off at my car and then ran inside the store. I was gone less than five minutes and when I came back out, my bag of stuff and coat were there but my purse was gone. Now, I am going to point out that my windows were down on my car (as per usual at this point) and the doors were most likely unlocked... But the purse was the only thing to go missing. However, my entire life was in that thing. And the things that upset me the most were the purse and wallets were pretty much brand new (I'd had them less than a week so they were brand new...) and my digital camera was in there as well (I had been taking it everywhere with me) as well as a pin that Tammy had gotten me at YC that said, "Someday my Prince will come Acts 1:11." I called the police and it took them 3.5 hours to get there but my mom didn't want me driving without a license or something saying that my I.D. had been stolen. The officer I spoke to seemed surprised that I knew my driver's license number but... whatever. I have always been good with numbers that are important to me. Anyway, I was off work at 5:15 that night and finally left at just after 9. After, I met up with Ben (he'd been away at a retreat and had just gotten back) and we kidnapped Tammy and went to BP's and hung out for a bit. Ben was really patient with both of us as neither Tammy or I had had a very good day. It was cool to hear about what he had been up to while he was gone. :)
Over the course of the past week, I have had to cancel all of my credit cards (I did most of that while I was waiting for the police to arrive) and go get a new debit card, replace my I.D. (driver's and birth certificate) and deal with the insurance company on many different days and for hours on end. The short version of the rest of it is that I am having my locks redone on my car, I have replaced as many things as I can and I am still waiting for some other things to come in the mail. For now, I am pretty upset about the lack of support from my boss and she is the one who commented about the "black cloud" over my head which honestly, upset me. So, I am thinking that if I can find other job soon, I will quit my current one...
So, I got to work and one of the days it poured midday, she decided to send some of us home. I had gotten stuck in traffic that morning and with my dark interior, I leave the windows on my car open a tiny bit so a little bit of air can circulate. That day, I parked, realized the wondows were shut, opened them a bit and ran to be on time. After it bucketed, I ran to my car and the doors were slightly wet. I figured the sluggishness of the windows could be attributed to that. Then I looked in the ignition. In the process of rolling up my windows, I had left my keys in the ignition and the key turned to the "on" position. Not started but "on" so that I could roll my windows down. Boy, did I feel dumb. Even more so when I had to call AMA to come and boost my car. (I'd like to point out that I own booster cables but John borrowed them and they are currently in our gp's car which is in having the transmission replaced...)
So, later that same week, my alarm didn't go off and I was late for work (not sure why it didn't go off, my clock was flashing 12:00 but the rest of the house seemed to be fine :S ???)
On the Sunday, I showed up at work to be greeted with, "it's SO good to see you!" (I'm almost positive this person hates me...) "You aren't scheduled to be here but I'm glad you are because now we can open!" (For anyone who doesn't know, I HATE this job...) I worked the entire shift while waiting to hear from a good friend who I had told to call me if she needed me because she was dealing with some stuff and at the end of my shift, as I went to finish my cash out in the store, I dropped my stuff off at my car and then ran inside the store. I was gone less than five minutes and when I came back out, my bag of stuff and coat were there but my purse was gone. Now, I am going to point out that my windows were down on my car (as per usual at this point) and the doors were most likely unlocked... But the purse was the only thing to go missing. However, my entire life was in that thing. And the things that upset me the most were the purse and wallets were pretty much brand new (I'd had them less than a week so they were brand new...) and my digital camera was in there as well (I had been taking it everywhere with me) as well as a pin that Tammy had gotten me at YC that said, "Someday my Prince will come Acts 1:11." I called the police and it took them 3.5 hours to get there but my mom didn't want me driving without a license or something saying that my I.D. had been stolen. The officer I spoke to seemed surprised that I knew my driver's license number but... whatever. I have always been good with numbers that are important to me. Anyway, I was off work at 5:15 that night and finally left at just after 9. After, I met up with Ben (he'd been away at a retreat and had just gotten back) and we kidnapped Tammy and went to BP's and hung out for a bit. Ben was really patient with both of us as neither Tammy or I had had a very good day. It was cool to hear about what he had been up to while he was gone. :)
Over the course of the past week, I have had to cancel all of my credit cards (I did most of that while I was waiting for the police to arrive) and go get a new debit card, replace my I.D. (driver's and birth certificate) and deal with the insurance company on many different days and for hours on end. The short version of the rest of it is that I am having my locks redone on my car, I have replaced as many things as I can and I am still waiting for some other things to come in the mail. For now, I am pretty upset about the lack of support from my boss and she is the one who commented about the "black cloud" over my head which honestly, upset me. So, I am thinking that if I can find other job soon, I will quit my current one...
Friday, June 02, 2006
Fun times!
Ok, so I have had an interesting week...
I officially hate my job. Every day this week (except today, oddly enough) I have been told that I am doing something wrong or have been yelled at for something either by the manager or the owner. See, the thing is, most of the stuff is the plural "you" but they have been addressing us about the things that are going on each individually, whether they apply to us or not. Some of it is random... The owner told me that we need to make sure we don't put the e-brake on when we move cars... I don't drive a stick but I'm pretty sure that if the car is left in gear or is left in neutral on a slant, no e-brake could be an issue... I dunno... He said we had left the e-brake on when we moved an automatic but... I don't leave my e-brake on unless I'm parked on a major hill so I have no idea... Other stuff like checking for auto locks because otherwise we have to get AMA or a locksmith out to open the car... and generally the car is running.
So, yesterday, after being told that we had closed too early on Wednesday (after we had been TOLD to close *rolling eyes*) I walked into the office and told both my boss and her boss that I am frustrated. I said that I have been feeling lately as though I do not know what I am doing and that what I have been doing is wrong. I said if that is the case, should I still be working there or should I quit now because after 7 or so weeks already, I would have thought I wouldn't be making as many mistakes over and over as I seem to be. I don't know if they were more shocked by the fact that I asked if I should quit or that I asked if I do anything right. Seriously, I hadn't heard about anything I had done RIGHT up until then... My boss told me I was fine and the owner just kind of looked at me... I went back outside and later she came out to tell me that I had met my "quota" for Petro Points sign-ups for last month and I got 5000 points. (I think this was her way of saying that I don't completely suck...) Apparently there are points that we can accumulate and put towards buying stuff or something... Anyway, she said that my "quota" for this month is 10. So, here is what I find kind of funny... I had something like 25 sign-ups last month. The most I had ever had in one day was 6. Today, I had 7 so I beat my best! Plus, it is only the second of June and I already have somewhere between 10 and 12 already... :) Looks like giving me a "quota" doesn't really mean much. The other thing is that there is a girl who has been there for almost three years and her quota is the same as mine... *rolling eyes and sighing*
Anyway, the fun parts of this week...
Monday, I went and visited Tammy at work and got a new wallet and purse. :) My cute one with the flowers on it has been shedding sequins and I don't want it to completely fall apart (and I am completely inept with a needle and thread on small picky details!) so I bought something a little sturdier. So, I got it home and it turns out, it has like a million pockets! So, I can carry stuff and not end up losing everything into the abyss that is my purse! That means I'm actually going to be (partially) organized! My mom likes my purse too and I am thinking of getting her a similar one... The problem is that if I get her the identical one, we may get them mixed up and that could be disasterous!
So, Tuesday I had physio and Jeff zapped my knee for 30 minutes straight... I couldn't feel my foot afterwards... It was SO weird! Afterwards, I went to the Ladies Compassion Small Group and then after Tammy got off work, I kidnapped her and we went to the Cheesecake Cafe. She had never been there! :O The funny thing was... Neither of us ordered cheesecake! *lol* :D She had a Fruit Flan (she didn't realize it wasn't cheesecake) and I had the Peach Cobbler. We decided that next time, we will get cheesecake... :) Afterwards, she came over and we hung out for a while and talked. My bro joined us for a bit too and it was cool to just chill. I drove her home and then finished uploading the photo's onto my new photobucket site. :)
Wednesday, I had a weird day at work... There is this guy who is a regular and reminds me of kinf of a Mafia Don type... He's Italian and always wears a suit and pays with $100 bills and such. He told me that his "girl" was going to come in and I was to "make sure she was taken care of." He and I ended up chatting for a few minutes (there were no other customers around) and we talked about what I'm studying at school and it turns out his mother was a concert pianist and he plays piano. We ended up talking about classical, opera, jazz, movie scores and some other random things. So, when she came in, we made sure everything went smoothly and she was "taken care of." He asked me if I like movies and I said yes... I was thinking, "dude, you're old enough to be my grandfather... what???" He asked if I would be interested in going to a movie premiere and gave me a pass to go see the premiere of "The Break Up" at Sunridge Spectrum that night. Turns out, he says he works for Universal and told me to take a friend... I'm not about to pass up a free movie! Especially one I was planning to see anyway! :D I called Matt to see what he was up to and we ended up going to the movie which was freaking hilarious! Seriously, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston were great together... I knew it would be funny but the actor who was actually the funniest was Jon Favereau... It was really bugging me as to where I knew him from! I looked him up on www.imdb.com and he was Pete Becker, one of Monica's love interests on "Friend's." No wonder he looked familiar!!! Normally Vince tends to be the wisecracker of the group but in this case, it was more Jon than anyone. :D I laughed, I almost cried... Definitely one I will see again, either in theatres if someone wants to see it or on DVD. I'm going to buy it when it eventually comes out! :D Afterwards we went to Chapters and bought some books and I hit Starbucks (I've been drinking the new Blackberry Green Tea Frappuccino) and then sat and talked for a while before heading home.
Thursday at work it was interesting... I had this random guy who was hitting on me... *shaking head* He was Jamaican and he kept talking to me about how he could drink all of the water in the case he got from us so he could keep up with the ladies... *rolling eyes* It was a looooooong day... That night I had physio again and after being a human pin cushion for a while, I went to the graveyard to leave flowers and then went to meet my mom and my brother. After, I met Tammy, Matt and Shauna at BP's and we sat, got food and talked and overall, just had a good time hanging out. It was cool to get to spend some time with them and I don't get to see Shauna very often so it was cool that she came out with us!
Today at work... It was a loooong day again... The computer was being stupid and at one point the entire wash shut down due to a problem Enmax was having and we had to close for a little over an hour. After all that went on, I didn't get my break until 2 (it was supposed to be at 1). I got home pretty early though and I was so tired that I just had a shower and ate dinner and chilled at home. Tonight, Tammy and I went to Safeway to pick up some groceries (I'm surprised she's not sick of me yet!) and I dropped her off pretty early. Now, I'm going to go do some more laundry and get some sleep...
Tomorrow I work all day and then it is the TEC 43 reunion in the evening. I am SO looking forward to it! :D More about that after!
I officially hate my job. Every day this week (except today, oddly enough) I have been told that I am doing something wrong or have been yelled at for something either by the manager or the owner. See, the thing is, most of the stuff is the plural "you" but they have been addressing us about the things that are going on each individually, whether they apply to us or not. Some of it is random... The owner told me that we need to make sure we don't put the e-brake on when we move cars... I don't drive a stick but I'm pretty sure that if the car is left in gear or is left in neutral on a slant, no e-brake could be an issue... I dunno... He said we had left the e-brake on when we moved an automatic but... I don't leave my e-brake on unless I'm parked on a major hill so I have no idea... Other stuff like checking for auto locks because otherwise we have to get AMA or a locksmith out to open the car... and generally the car is running.
So, yesterday, after being told that we had closed too early on Wednesday (after we had been TOLD to close *rolling eyes*) I walked into the office and told both my boss and her boss that I am frustrated. I said that I have been feeling lately as though I do not know what I am doing and that what I have been doing is wrong. I said if that is the case, should I still be working there or should I quit now because after 7 or so weeks already, I would have thought I wouldn't be making as many mistakes over and over as I seem to be. I don't know if they were more shocked by the fact that I asked if I should quit or that I asked if I do anything right. Seriously, I hadn't heard about anything I had done RIGHT up until then... My boss told me I was fine and the owner just kind of looked at me... I went back outside and later she came out to tell me that I had met my "quota" for Petro Points sign-ups for last month and I got 5000 points. (I think this was her way of saying that I don't completely suck...) Apparently there are points that we can accumulate and put towards buying stuff or something... Anyway, she said that my "quota" for this month is 10. So, here is what I find kind of funny... I had something like 25 sign-ups last month. The most I had ever had in one day was 6. Today, I had 7 so I beat my best! Plus, it is only the second of June and I already have somewhere between 10 and 12 already... :) Looks like giving me a "quota" doesn't really mean much. The other thing is that there is a girl who has been there for almost three years and her quota is the same as mine... *rolling eyes and sighing*
Anyway, the fun parts of this week...
Monday, I went and visited Tammy at work and got a new wallet and purse. :) My cute one with the flowers on it has been shedding sequins and I don't want it to completely fall apart (and I am completely inept with a needle and thread on small picky details!) so I bought something a little sturdier. So, I got it home and it turns out, it has like a million pockets! So, I can carry stuff and not end up losing everything into the abyss that is my purse! That means I'm actually going to be (partially) organized! My mom likes my purse too and I am thinking of getting her a similar one... The problem is that if I get her the identical one, we may get them mixed up and that could be disasterous!
So, Tuesday I had physio and Jeff zapped my knee for 30 minutes straight... I couldn't feel my foot afterwards... It was SO weird! Afterwards, I went to the Ladies Compassion Small Group and then after Tammy got off work, I kidnapped her and we went to the Cheesecake Cafe. She had never been there! :O The funny thing was... Neither of us ordered cheesecake! *lol* :D She had a Fruit Flan (she didn't realize it wasn't cheesecake) and I had the Peach Cobbler. We decided that next time, we will get cheesecake... :) Afterwards, she came over and we hung out for a while and talked. My bro joined us for a bit too and it was cool to just chill. I drove her home and then finished uploading the photo's onto my new photobucket site. :)
Wednesday, I had a weird day at work... There is this guy who is a regular and reminds me of kinf of a Mafia Don type... He's Italian and always wears a suit and pays with $100 bills and such. He told me that his "girl" was going to come in and I was to "make sure she was taken care of." He and I ended up chatting for a few minutes (there were no other customers around) and we talked about what I'm studying at school and it turns out his mother was a concert pianist and he plays piano. We ended up talking about classical, opera, jazz, movie scores and some other random things. So, when she came in, we made sure everything went smoothly and she was "taken care of." He asked me if I like movies and I said yes... I was thinking, "dude, you're old enough to be my grandfather... what???" He asked if I would be interested in going to a movie premiere and gave me a pass to go see the premiere of "The Break Up" at Sunridge Spectrum that night. Turns out, he says he works for Universal and told me to take a friend... I'm not about to pass up a free movie! Especially one I was planning to see anyway! :D I called Matt to see what he was up to and we ended up going to the movie which was freaking hilarious! Seriously, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston were great together... I knew it would be funny but the actor who was actually the funniest was Jon Favereau... It was really bugging me as to where I knew him from! I looked him up on www.imdb.com and he was Pete Becker, one of Monica's love interests on "Friend's." No wonder he looked familiar!!! Normally Vince tends to be the wisecracker of the group but in this case, it was more Jon than anyone. :D I laughed, I almost cried... Definitely one I will see again, either in theatres if someone wants to see it or on DVD. I'm going to buy it when it eventually comes out! :D Afterwards we went to Chapters and bought some books and I hit Starbucks (I've been drinking the new Blackberry Green Tea Frappuccino) and then sat and talked for a while before heading home.
Thursday at work it was interesting... I had this random guy who was hitting on me... *shaking head* He was Jamaican and he kept talking to me about how he could drink all of the water in the case he got from us so he could keep up with the ladies... *rolling eyes* It was a looooooong day... That night I had physio again and after being a human pin cushion for a while, I went to the graveyard to leave flowers and then went to meet my mom and my brother. After, I met Tammy, Matt and Shauna at BP's and we sat, got food and talked and overall, just had a good time hanging out. It was cool to get to spend some time with them and I don't get to see Shauna very often so it was cool that she came out with us!
Today at work... It was a loooong day again... The computer was being stupid and at one point the entire wash shut down due to a problem Enmax was having and we had to close for a little over an hour. After all that went on, I didn't get my break until 2 (it was supposed to be at 1). I got home pretty early though and I was so tired that I just had a shower and ate dinner and chilled at home. Tonight, Tammy and I went to Safeway to pick up some groceries (I'm surprised she's not sick of me yet!) and I dropped her off pretty early. Now, I'm going to go do some more laundry and get some sleep...
Tomorrow I work all day and then it is the TEC 43 reunion in the evening. I am SO looking forward to it! :D More about that after!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Pictures...
I have had people asking when my photo's from various things are going to be up...
After approximately 16 hours of uploading, editing, more uploading, naming and renaming....
Some are officially ready to be viewed!!!
For the Photo's from TEC 43 and Montana's on the Monday night go to:
(There is a password, e-mail, IM or call me for it...)
COMING SOON:
Photo's from THING on Saturday May 27, 2006 and Moxie's afterwards...
Photo's from Ben's Birthday Party...
Other random Photo's...
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Perspective.
I have a couple of good friends (and my mom) who have told me a lot that if you don't let people treat you poorly, they won't get used to it and therefore, won't get away with it. For the past few days, I have been letting someone I considered a friend walk all over me. She has been treating me like crap and upsetting me all because she was in a bad mood on Saturday night and was taking it out on the people around her. Now, I thought this was just my impression so rather than say something to her (I asked if she was ok and almost got my head ripped off), I left her alone. I let the things that she said or did slide, came home and prayed about them and the next day, I blogged about how I had been feeling. Apparently, this was seen as a personal attack. So, in as public a place as I can, I apologize for whatever it was exactly that I said and did. However, the slander that has been going on behind my back should stop. Because as it currently stands, I am fed up with being treated like some stupid POS that isn't worth anything because I know that I am worth something and that's not fair to me.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Feeling Fragile...
Today had it's ups and downs...
My boss called this morning and told me we wouldn't be opening (and we are closed tomorrow because of the Lilac festival) so have a good weekend and she would see me on Monday. (Yay! UP!)
So, no work means I got to sleep in! (Yay! UP!)
My mom called and said she was going to come over for breakfast and then when she showed up she had brought Timbits and I had already had some raspberries and juice so we got organized to go out and ran some errands. We went to Ben's house and picked up a cake, the mall to go to Sport Chek and got matching Croc's, to Booster Juice for a smoothie and banana bread, to Co-op for milk and then to the Winter Club to drop off an envelope. (Yay for time spent with Mommy! UP!)
I got home with enough time to start a blog and then Matt showed up to pick me up so I had to "save draft" and leave and we went to pick up Dana and I got to see her apartment. We stopped at Wendy's on the way to the church and then got to St. Phil's around 6:20pm. Dana and I quizzed Jordan on how he enjoyed TEC and how his week had been in the car on the way. :) (UP!)
When we got to THING, people seemed stressed, the hall was set up for something that is going on at the church tomorrow so we couldn't use it, everyone was talking about their summer plans - some people are leaving and they were talking about it, random things kept happening (water on the floor from the radiator leaking...) and it was generally kind of chaotic... (Sliding Down...)
People I hadn't seen in a while were at THING tonight (Nick Van Hooft, Dawn, Cassidy, etc.) and Ekklesia was playing. :) Something like 7 or so of the participants from this past weekend were there tonight! Out of 16, that's awesome! (UP!)
It hit me hard tonight that I have less than two weeks until Ben leaves for the summer. I have known it for a while but it didn't really hit me until tonight... I'm not sure exactly how I feel... Or, I know how I feel but I'm not sure how to express it. And I spent a lot of time in prayer about it... (Up and Down...)
Jackie was the speaker and her topic was Spiritual Mountains and Valleys and I thought her talk was very well done. She read the book "You are Special" by Max Lucado and I love that book! I wish I was more like Lucia who only really cared what Eli thought of her and didn't let the dots or stars stick to her... (Up!)
We brought out the cake when Dana was announcing the small group leaders and has Amber (Birthday = May 23), Ben (June 11), Jordan (June 12) and John McMechan (Today!!!) come up and we sang them all "Happy Birthday!" It was a ton of fun and that way everyone felt loved and the birthday cake was enjoyed by all! :) (Up!)
We had a minor snafu at the beginning of small groups that I don't want to go into... (Down...)
As the night wore on, I was getting frustrated with the lack of help and support from certain people. I am at the point where I am only one person and I can only do so much. My mom uses a phrase... It's "this too shall pass" and I use "breathe" instead... My theory is, if it's not something you can directly fix, why bother stressing? But tonight, I was in trouble numerous times for just being there... I'm not honestly sure why I bother. I said to someone that if I wasn't there, I don't think anyone would honestly notice. Someone else would do what I was supposed to and that would be all that matters. (Down!)
One of the bright spots of the night for me was when Candace, Justin and Jon got there. I came into the foyer of the church just after they had gotten there and I got hugs from all of them and I love hugs! When they left a little later, I also gut hugs which was nice. :) When Randi and Adrian showed up all dressed up for grad, it was sooo cute! They were colour-coordinated! I think their outfits were almost as nice as David's kilt! :D (Up!)
At the end of the night, everyone was getting shooed out of the church and I found it frustrating because I cleaned up the entire kitchen by myself... I finally had people come offer to help me carry stuff out when I was finished everything else and it was tough for me not to be like, "thanks for your help when all of the other stuff is done." :P (Down...)
All in all, it was just a loooonnng day. I'm going to go spend some time with God in prayer and then listen to my new Third Day CD's as I go to sleep... I think they may help me sleep tonight...
My boss called this morning and told me we wouldn't be opening (and we are closed tomorrow because of the Lilac festival) so have a good weekend and she would see me on Monday. (Yay! UP!)
So, no work means I got to sleep in! (Yay! UP!)
My mom called and said she was going to come over for breakfast and then when she showed up she had brought Timbits and I had already had some raspberries and juice so we got organized to go out and ran some errands. We went to Ben's house and picked up a cake, the mall to go to Sport Chek and got matching Croc's, to Booster Juice for a smoothie and banana bread, to Co-op for milk and then to the Winter Club to drop off an envelope. (Yay for time spent with Mommy! UP!)
I got home with enough time to start a blog and then Matt showed up to pick me up so I had to "save draft" and leave and we went to pick up Dana and I got to see her apartment. We stopped at Wendy's on the way to the church and then got to St. Phil's around 6:20pm. Dana and I quizzed Jordan on how he enjoyed TEC and how his week had been in the car on the way. :) (UP!)
When we got to THING, people seemed stressed, the hall was set up for something that is going on at the church tomorrow so we couldn't use it, everyone was talking about their summer plans - some people are leaving and they were talking about it, random things kept happening (water on the floor from the radiator leaking...) and it was generally kind of chaotic... (Sliding Down...)
People I hadn't seen in a while were at THING tonight (Nick Van Hooft, Dawn, Cassidy, etc.) and Ekklesia was playing. :) Something like 7 or so of the participants from this past weekend were there tonight! Out of 16, that's awesome! (UP!)
It hit me hard tonight that I have less than two weeks until Ben leaves for the summer. I have known it for a while but it didn't really hit me until tonight... I'm not sure exactly how I feel... Or, I know how I feel but I'm not sure how to express it. And I spent a lot of time in prayer about it... (Up and Down...)
Jackie was the speaker and her topic was Spiritual Mountains and Valleys and I thought her talk was very well done. She read the book "You are Special" by Max Lucado and I love that book! I wish I was more like Lucia who only really cared what Eli thought of her and didn't let the dots or stars stick to her... (Up!)
We brought out the cake when Dana was announcing the small group leaders and has Amber (Birthday = May 23), Ben (June 11), Jordan (June 12) and John McMechan (Today!!!) come up and we sang them all "Happy Birthday!" It was a ton of fun and that way everyone felt loved and the birthday cake was enjoyed by all! :) (Up!)
We had a minor snafu at the beginning of small groups that I don't want to go into... (Down...)
As the night wore on, I was getting frustrated with the lack of help and support from certain people. I am at the point where I am only one person and I can only do so much. My mom uses a phrase... It's "this too shall pass" and I use "breathe" instead... My theory is, if it's not something you can directly fix, why bother stressing? But tonight, I was in trouble numerous times for just being there... I'm not honestly sure why I bother. I said to someone that if I wasn't there, I don't think anyone would honestly notice. Someone else would do what I was supposed to and that would be all that matters. (Down!)
One of the bright spots of the night for me was when Candace, Justin and Jon got there. I came into the foyer of the church just after they had gotten there and I got hugs from all of them and I love hugs! When they left a little later, I also gut hugs which was nice. :) When Randi and Adrian showed up all dressed up for grad, it was sooo cute! They were colour-coordinated! I think their outfits were almost as nice as David's kilt! :D (Up!)
At the end of the night, everyone was getting shooed out of the church and I found it frustrating because I cleaned up the entire kitchen by myself... I finally had people come offer to help me carry stuff out when I was finished everything else and it was tough for me not to be like, "thanks for your help when all of the other stuff is done." :P (Down...)
All in all, it was just a loooonnng day. I'm going to go spend some time with God in prayer and then listen to my new Third Day CD's as I go to sleep... I think they may help me sleep tonight...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I had an awesome weekend...
This weekend was TEC and it was amazing!!!
I worked on the Conference team which means that the people who are coming for the first time (the Participants) are split into table groups and they spend the weekend in a small group format with us. I was pretty nervous having never worked this team before! We were told that we all bring different strengths into the team so I wasn't completely freaked but it was close! :)
Friday night arrived and I headed out to Entheos. We did some set-up, ate dinner and hung out as a team and had a reconciliation service. I went up for prayer to calm my nerves and because I had been dealing with some stupidity at work all week that I felt was pulling me down (I don't like that feeling).
Here's what has been going on...
There is this woman that I work with... She is in her mid-forties and is doing the same job I am and she asked me the first time we worked together how long I have worked there and I said about three weeks. I went on to explain that I am a University student and this is a summer job for me. She said she has a $60,000 degree and look where she is working... So, all week, all I have heard is that she has a degree and is working with me. Apparently she also used to clean houses... I'm not saying either of these is a bad job but if she has a degree, why isn't she using it would be my question... whatever. Anyway, she is on the bigger side and all week has complained about her knees, back, ankles, feet, etc. hurting from being on her feet all day. Now, I will point out that I know based on what she has said that I outweigh her but I am also quite a bit taller than her (at least 6") and one of the guys we work with pointed out that the shoes she is wearing are so worn out that it's no wonder that she's in pain. We are on our feet for 9 hours a day... Your feet are bound to hurt after that (I need to buy a foot spa thingy as an aside... maybe I'll ask for one for my birthday... hmmm...) but our boss who outweighs me by what I outweigh this woman by is shorter than her... It's a complicated situation... Anyway, after the first two days of complaining, she started making comments about MY size. Now, I don't know this woman from a hole in the ground and honestly, I was offended. My build is larger based on genetics (having a 6'6" grandfather will do that to you!) and it has taken me a long time to become comfortable with who I am! I wear black a lot as it's supposed to be slimming and also because if I wear black, no one can make any comments about whatever I am wearing. So, I finally buy clothes in (I know, this is going to shock some people) colours and then this woman starts in on me about my size. Because it's sooooooooo helpful. *rolling eyes* So, any self-esteem I had, is *poof* gone. Well, maybe not gone but is lessened.
So, I went for prayer, I explained how I have been feeling to the prayer team and part of the situation and we prayed. I had people come and lay hands on me and the support from my friends was amazing... When I got up, I had cried (shocking, I know) and I got hugs from a bunch of people (which I totally needed) and then I went and spent some time alone thinking and doing my own thing. My only concern with going back to work on Tuesday is that I will have to deal with it again and I'm at the point that if she keeps making me feel this uncomfortable, I may have to go talk to my boss who I know understands about people making her feel uncomfortable in her own skin...
Back to hapier things... Saturday morning dawned early and we got up for morning prayer and had breakfast and began to prepare for the participants to arrive. I knew who was going to be at my table and I had sponsored one of the girls to come to the weekend (this means I had told her about TEC, told her what she could and couldn't bring with her to the weekend, had been praying for her before the weekend and had talked to her parents about the weekend in general), another I had met when we did a PR church visit and the boy at our table is the younger brother of a friend. I was still nervous tho. I prayed that God would calm my heart.
All of the participants arrived early and we started the day about 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Now, we don't wear watches while we are at TEC so from then on, we were pretty much completely in the dark time-wise.
The rest of the weekend overall was amazing... The participants at my table are awesome and we bonded really well as a table group. My co-table leader is my bestfriends fiance and it was awesome getting to know him better. :) As the weekend progressed, our discussions got deeper and deeper and I know that I learned more and more about the participants, my co and myself.
The participants at the other tables were also really amazing. At meal and break times we got the chance to hang out and talk with them as well and the bonding we did as a conference team with all of the participants was amazing. The maximum capacity of a TEC weekend is 36 and while it would be cool to have a full TEC, the participants wouldn't be able to have the amount of individual attention they got this weekend (there were only 16).
So, from there, they go back out into the world. I found it kind of daunting after my TEC weekend. The love, caring and compassion that surrounds them in the TEC community is amazing and many times, people at work or school don't understand. Especially if they aren't Christian. One of my friends put it best... He said, "I have to go to work tomorrow and I'm not sure what my boss would do if I walked up and hugged him. In fact, I'm not sure if I would be going to work Wednesday if I did that!" I just hope and pray that their families are supportive and caring and that whatever they go back into today, they are able to hold into the way they were feeling as they left yesterday and can return to THING this weekend or Reunion next weekend and still have the joy they were filled with...
I worked on the Conference team which means that the people who are coming for the first time (the Participants) are split into table groups and they spend the weekend in a small group format with us. I was pretty nervous having never worked this team before! We were told that we all bring different strengths into the team so I wasn't completely freaked but it was close! :)
Friday night arrived and I headed out to Entheos. We did some set-up, ate dinner and hung out as a team and had a reconciliation service. I went up for prayer to calm my nerves and because I had been dealing with some stupidity at work all week that I felt was pulling me down (I don't like that feeling).
Here's what has been going on...
There is this woman that I work with... She is in her mid-forties and is doing the same job I am and she asked me the first time we worked together how long I have worked there and I said about three weeks. I went on to explain that I am a University student and this is a summer job for me. She said she has a $60,000 degree and look where she is working... So, all week, all I have heard is that she has a degree and is working with me. Apparently she also used to clean houses... I'm not saying either of these is a bad job but if she has a degree, why isn't she using it would be my question... whatever. Anyway, she is on the bigger side and all week has complained about her knees, back, ankles, feet, etc. hurting from being on her feet all day. Now, I will point out that I know based on what she has said that I outweigh her but I am also quite a bit taller than her (at least 6") and one of the guys we work with pointed out that the shoes she is wearing are so worn out that it's no wonder that she's in pain. We are on our feet for 9 hours a day... Your feet are bound to hurt after that (I need to buy a foot spa thingy as an aside... maybe I'll ask for one for my birthday... hmmm...) but our boss who outweighs me by what I outweigh this woman by is shorter than her... It's a complicated situation... Anyway, after the first two days of complaining, she started making comments about MY size. Now, I don't know this woman from a hole in the ground and honestly, I was offended. My build is larger based on genetics (having a 6'6" grandfather will do that to you!) and it has taken me a long time to become comfortable with who I am! I wear black a lot as it's supposed to be slimming and also because if I wear black, no one can make any comments about whatever I am wearing. So, I finally buy clothes in (I know, this is going to shock some people) colours and then this woman starts in on me about my size. Because it's sooooooooo helpful. *rolling eyes* So, any self-esteem I had, is *poof* gone. Well, maybe not gone but is lessened.
So, I went for prayer, I explained how I have been feeling to the prayer team and part of the situation and we prayed. I had people come and lay hands on me and the support from my friends was amazing... When I got up, I had cried (shocking, I know) and I got hugs from a bunch of people (which I totally needed) and then I went and spent some time alone thinking and doing my own thing. My only concern with going back to work on Tuesday is that I will have to deal with it again and I'm at the point that if she keeps making me feel this uncomfortable, I may have to go talk to my boss who I know understands about people making her feel uncomfortable in her own skin...
Back to hapier things... Saturday morning dawned early and we got up for morning prayer and had breakfast and began to prepare for the participants to arrive. I knew who was going to be at my table and I had sponsored one of the girls to come to the weekend (this means I had told her about TEC, told her what she could and couldn't bring with her to the weekend, had been praying for her before the weekend and had talked to her parents about the weekend in general), another I had met when we did a PR church visit and the boy at our table is the younger brother of a friend. I was still nervous tho. I prayed that God would calm my heart.
All of the participants arrived early and we started the day about 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Now, we don't wear watches while we are at TEC so from then on, we were pretty much completely in the dark time-wise.
The rest of the weekend overall was amazing... The participants at my table are awesome and we bonded really well as a table group. My co-table leader is my bestfriends fiance and it was awesome getting to know him better. :) As the weekend progressed, our discussions got deeper and deeper and I know that I learned more and more about the participants, my co and myself.
The participants at the other tables were also really amazing. At meal and break times we got the chance to hang out and talk with them as well and the bonding we did as a conference team with all of the participants was amazing. The maximum capacity of a TEC weekend is 36 and while it would be cool to have a full TEC, the participants wouldn't be able to have the amount of individual attention they got this weekend (there were only 16).
So, from there, they go back out into the world. I found it kind of daunting after my TEC weekend. The love, caring and compassion that surrounds them in the TEC community is amazing and many times, people at work or school don't understand. Especially if they aren't Christian. One of my friends put it best... He said, "I have to go to work tomorrow and I'm not sure what my boss would do if I walked up and hugged him. In fact, I'm not sure if I would be going to work Wednesday if I did that!" I just hope and pray that their families are supportive and caring and that whatever they go back into today, they are able to hold into the way they were feeling as they left yesterday and can return to THING this weekend or Reunion next weekend and still have the joy they were filled with...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Sick... Tired... And sick and tired of being sick and tired...
So for the past two weeks I have been sick. I have done the ear infections in both ears, strep throat, possible bronchitis and sinus infection thing all at once... I have been on what seemed like handfuls of meds... It has sucked...
Now, almost two weeks later, I still have a sinus infection and minor ear infections and possible bronchitis. I saw the third doctor in two weeks today (my family one finally...) and he changed my meds. So, he said I should be feeling MUCH better by Saturday. I have to say, my fingers are MAJORLY crossed and I am praying hard that it happens because I feel awful right now!
Yesterday I felt like someone had socked me in the eye... I felt like I had a black eye and it was swollen. It didn't look swollen but I could feel it... My head hurt, I couldn't sleep, my sinuses were still plugged, and so on.... My mom came over and I called the Health Link line and the nurse told me to do hot compresses on the side of my face/head that hurt and try to get some sleep. If I couldn't sleep and my head still hurt, she told me to go to the hospital and otherwise, go to my family doctor within 24 hours.
This morning, I woke up and my eye on the side that had hurt yesterday was still killing me. I had tossed and turned for most of the night so I called in sick to work and told my boss that my eye was swollen and it was pretty much glued shut (which it was) and that I was going to go see a Dr. (which I did). I called my mom but she was in meetings all morning and my brother said if I needed to get somewhere I could call a cab or an ambulance and then he hung up on me. Laurel was busy with work and I thought about calling Sandra or Matt or Ben but I didn't know about gas, vehicle and work schedules respectively so I gave up. I drove myself and the 20 minute trip took me 40. I pulled over anytime I felt light-headed or dizzy. I probably wasn't the safest person on the roads but I found myself behind a dumptruck that was doing between 30 and 40 for most of the trip across town so I followed it as it was a good speed for me today...
My doctor basically said that as I have been on the other meds for 10 days and I am still sick, I should be on something else, not the same stuff. Also, the stuff I was on is fine for strep but not so much for sinus related stuff. So, he changed my meds and put me on an aqueous nasal spray as well. (Gotta say, it tastes horrid!!!) I hope that his prediction of feeling better by Saturday holds true because my weekend is looking pretty busy right now....
After I was done at the clinic, my mom called to say she would meet me so I could get my prescriptions filled. She met me at London Drugs and brought me a Booster Juice which was a nice surprise/treat. She had them make it without the yogurt so I could drink it. :)
I came home and had a nap for a while and then just after I got up, Ben called... It was nice to hear from him... I haven't talked to him since he picked up his pizzas on Saturday (I wasn't at small group on Sunday) and it was cool to talk to him.
I watched T.V. for a bit and my mom and bro stopped by and dropped off some more Kleenex (a case) and two DVD's ("The Family Stone" and "Last Holiday") and now I'm blogging before I head to watch a DVD and bedtime.
It's been a busy-ish day... Tomorrow and Friday I'm not working... I was told to rest... So I will be at home, resting, possibly working on Wheat, otherwise doing nothing... If anyone wants to hang out or talk or whatever, y'all know how to reach me...
Night.
Now, almost two weeks later, I still have a sinus infection and minor ear infections and possible bronchitis. I saw the third doctor in two weeks today (my family one finally...) and he changed my meds. So, he said I should be feeling MUCH better by Saturday. I have to say, my fingers are MAJORLY crossed and I am praying hard that it happens because I feel awful right now!
Yesterday I felt like someone had socked me in the eye... I felt like I had a black eye and it was swollen. It didn't look swollen but I could feel it... My head hurt, I couldn't sleep, my sinuses were still plugged, and so on.... My mom came over and I called the Health Link line and the nurse told me to do hot compresses on the side of my face/head that hurt and try to get some sleep. If I couldn't sleep and my head still hurt, she told me to go to the hospital and otherwise, go to my family doctor within 24 hours.
This morning, I woke up and my eye on the side that had hurt yesterday was still killing me. I had tossed and turned for most of the night so I called in sick to work and told my boss that my eye was swollen and it was pretty much glued shut (which it was) and that I was going to go see a Dr. (which I did). I called my mom but she was in meetings all morning and my brother said if I needed to get somewhere I could call a cab or an ambulance and then he hung up on me. Laurel was busy with work and I thought about calling Sandra or Matt or Ben but I didn't know about gas, vehicle and work schedules respectively so I gave up. I drove myself and the 20 minute trip took me 40. I pulled over anytime I felt light-headed or dizzy. I probably wasn't the safest person on the roads but I found myself behind a dumptruck that was doing between 30 and 40 for most of the trip across town so I followed it as it was a good speed for me today...
My doctor basically said that as I have been on the other meds for 10 days and I am still sick, I should be on something else, not the same stuff. Also, the stuff I was on is fine for strep but not so much for sinus related stuff. So, he changed my meds and put me on an aqueous nasal spray as well. (Gotta say, it tastes horrid!!!) I hope that his prediction of feeling better by Saturday holds true because my weekend is looking pretty busy right now....
After I was done at the clinic, my mom called to say she would meet me so I could get my prescriptions filled. She met me at London Drugs and brought me a Booster Juice which was a nice surprise/treat. She had them make it without the yogurt so I could drink it. :)
I came home and had a nap for a while and then just after I got up, Ben called... It was nice to hear from him... I haven't talked to him since he picked up his pizzas on Saturday (I wasn't at small group on Sunday) and it was cool to talk to him.
I watched T.V. for a bit and my mom and bro stopped by and dropped off some more Kleenex (a case) and two DVD's ("The Family Stone" and "Last Holiday") and now I'm blogging before I head to watch a DVD and bedtime.
It's been a busy-ish day... Tomorrow and Friday I'm not working... I was told to rest... So I will be at home, resting, possibly working on Wheat, otherwise doing nothing... If anyone wants to hang out or talk or whatever, y'all know how to reach me...
Night.
Monday, May 01, 2006
What to say today...
It's been a while since I wrote anything on here... I have thought a lot about writing on here but I haven't been online all that much and I have been busy. Well, I had been keeping myself busy and then I have been busy ever since.
So, after my final concert at school and moving back here and my grandmothers funeral, I spent pretty much everyday hanging out with Matt and Ben. I love those two guys a ton... They are two of my best friends and I appreciate the fact that they have been there for me through thick and thin in the past few months. Honestly, if it weren't for the two of them, I don't know how I would have handled it all.
So, they were both working and during my third week home, I was finally like "I'm bored out of my mind... I need to DO something!!! Other than sitting around doing nothing and then hanging out with friends at night!" I applied for some jobs and got a few interviews and was hired on the spot for one of them. So, the past week and a bit, I have been working at a Petro Canada car wash. It's not a bad job, the people are pretty nice and I get to be outside. It's definitely not what I want to do for the rest of my life but for now, it's not a bad summer job. The hours are consistent and the money's not bad.
So, otherwise, I am working the upcoming TEC (I am on Conference!) and have been doing a ton of stuff for fundraising... We sold over 300 pizzas!!! :O :) :O :) :O :) I am SO happy!!! We beat the total number of pizzas sold at the last two sales that I was coordinator for!!! Also, a few of my friends from camp are going to this TEC as participants and a few others from choir are thinking about going... I am looking forward to it!!!
This past weekend, I was REALLY sick but I was at a 25th year reunion for the Mount Royal Youth Choir. It was cool to be there and having Mr. Ferguson as a guest conductor for the weekend. We sang a bunch of pieces from various years throughout the past 25. I was kind of frustrated that two of the songs we skipped were pieces we did when we toured to Scotland and the ones we did weren't anything we had technically sung when I was in the choir (January 2001 - August 2003). We did "Witness" though which I sang when I joined them for Spring Song in 2004 and I LOVE that piece!!! We also did Mozart's "Ave Verum" which I did in High School. The Arioso did "Ching-a-ring-chaw" and the Youth Choir did "Psalmo 150" and "Voice Dance" which I have also sung. All in all, the weekend of singing and meeting choristers was really fun and the concert at the end of the weekend was cool to watch. It was great to see people I used to sing with and meet people who sang in the choir long before I did. On Saturday after singing all day (I had no voice left...) we went to BP's and I got the chance to hang out with Liam, Elisa, Justin, Breighanne, Skye, Roy and others and meet people like Pat... It was an interesting group. :P :D
Afterwards, I went to the doctor's and it turns out I have a sinus infection, throat infection (possibly strep), ear infections in both ears and possibly bronchitis... No wonder I feel like crap... So, that explained why I felt like I had I head cold. But now, I am not feeling any better and I am trying to get as much rest as possible...
I have been working M-F, 8-5 and I haven't had as much time to spend with my friends... I am finding that hard because it was cool to have a social life for once... Ben leaves for camp in a little over a month, Matt is working full-time and is in a new relationship, Britney has already left to live at camp and work at Greenview, I never see Meghan because I am at work all day and I'm tired at night, I see Sandra now because she and I started working together (she started on Friday!), I don't see Laurel all that often because we are both so busy and Kristyn is busy with Kylee and Ryan and we never see each other... I guess when I take a step back and look at my life right now, I'm glad I'm busy and everything but I'm sad that it has come down to seeing my friends when I have a few minutes to spare...
I have been taught to be happy for what I have. Lately it has hit me that I am living pretty much alone in a house that I have lived in off and on for the past few years but there was always someone else around. I have my own car but it needs a few improvements as it isn't in top running condition... and I have spiritual gifts that I don't have the chance to use... I need to find somewhere I can serve that I can use them...
I'm tired and I have a headache so I'm going to go rest...
So, after my final concert at school and moving back here and my grandmothers funeral, I spent pretty much everyday hanging out with Matt and Ben. I love those two guys a ton... They are two of my best friends and I appreciate the fact that they have been there for me through thick and thin in the past few months. Honestly, if it weren't for the two of them, I don't know how I would have handled it all.
So, they were both working and during my third week home, I was finally like "I'm bored out of my mind... I need to DO something!!! Other than sitting around doing nothing and then hanging out with friends at night!" I applied for some jobs and got a few interviews and was hired on the spot for one of them. So, the past week and a bit, I have been working at a Petro Canada car wash. It's not a bad job, the people are pretty nice and I get to be outside. It's definitely not what I want to do for the rest of my life but for now, it's not a bad summer job. The hours are consistent and the money's not bad.
So, otherwise, I am working the upcoming TEC (I am on Conference!) and have been doing a ton of stuff for fundraising... We sold over 300 pizzas!!! :O :) :O :) :O :) I am SO happy!!! We beat the total number of pizzas sold at the last two sales that I was coordinator for!!! Also, a few of my friends from camp are going to this TEC as participants and a few others from choir are thinking about going... I am looking forward to it!!!
This past weekend, I was REALLY sick but I was at a 25th year reunion for the Mount Royal Youth Choir. It was cool to be there and having Mr. Ferguson as a guest conductor for the weekend. We sang a bunch of pieces from various years throughout the past 25. I was kind of frustrated that two of the songs we skipped were pieces we did when we toured to Scotland and the ones we did weren't anything we had technically sung when I was in the choir (January 2001 - August 2003). We did "Witness" though which I sang when I joined them for Spring Song in 2004 and I LOVE that piece!!! We also did Mozart's "Ave Verum" which I did in High School. The Arioso did "Ching-a-ring-chaw" and the Youth Choir did "Psalmo 150" and "Voice Dance" which I have also sung. All in all, the weekend of singing and meeting choristers was really fun and the concert at the end of the weekend was cool to watch. It was great to see people I used to sing with and meet people who sang in the choir long before I did. On Saturday after singing all day (I had no voice left...) we went to BP's and I got the chance to hang out with Liam, Elisa, Justin, Breighanne, Skye, Roy and others and meet people like Pat... It was an interesting group. :P :D
Afterwards, I went to the doctor's and it turns out I have a sinus infection, throat infection (possibly strep), ear infections in both ears and possibly bronchitis... No wonder I feel like crap... So, that explained why I felt like I had I head cold. But now, I am not feeling any better and I am trying to get as much rest as possible...
I have been working M-F, 8-5 and I haven't had as much time to spend with my friends... I am finding that hard because it was cool to have a social life for once... Ben leaves for camp in a little over a month, Matt is working full-time and is in a new relationship, Britney has already left to live at camp and work at Greenview, I never see Meghan because I am at work all day and I'm tired at night, I see Sandra now because she and I started working together (she started on Friday!), I don't see Laurel all that often because we are both so busy and Kristyn is busy with Kylee and Ryan and we never see each other... I guess when I take a step back and look at my life right now, I'm glad I'm busy and everything but I'm sad that it has come down to seeing my friends when I have a few minutes to spare...
I have been taught to be happy for what I have. Lately it has hit me that I am living pretty much alone in a house that I have lived in off and on for the past few years but there was always someone else around. I have my own car but it needs a few improvements as it isn't in top running condition... and I have spiritual gifts that I don't have the chance to use... I need to find somewhere I can serve that I can use them...
I'm tired and I have a headache so I'm going to go rest...
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Friends...
This is a short blog... I just wanted to post a short shout out to my friends... You guys have been awesome this week... With hugs, words of support, more hugs, driving me where I need to be (I'm not driving right now, it's been a bad week and concentrating for long enough to drive between Calgary and Lethbridge wasn't going to be happening as many times as I was going to need to), hanging out when I need company, hugs, shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, coming to listen to my concert, offering to help my mom out as needed and just generally being there for me... You guys are awesome! Thank you for everything!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Heartsick...
So Monday my mom called and told me she was coming down to visit. This isn't that abnormal as she is currently off on Spring Break and when she had time off, she comes to visit us quite frequently. My brother was going to drive the van back to her so he could pick up his "new" car (it's new to him) and then drive it back down here. She was going to follow him. So far, nothing majorly odd about this. So, I spent most of the day working on my final theory project. That night, Ash and I went to BP's to grab dinner and compare notes. I met up with my mom around 9:30 (it took them 4 HOURS to get here!!!) and then we came home and I made tea and we watied for John to come back. Mom was asking me all kinds of weird questions about my project that is due today (I am going to shower and go hand it in on my way out of town) and what my Friday and Saturday are looking like and so on... I thought they were strange questions but I showed her what I have been working on and when John got home, Holly went to his room and the three of us sat down in the living room. Mom said she didn't know where to start... I asked "what's wrong? Did something happen to Grandma?" and she nodded... "She..." my mom nodded again... John and I both cried... Holly came out and gave us all hugs... We spent the next few hours sitting and talking about nothing of major note... I called a few friends, we sorted pictures from Mom's birthday and figured out that Saturday is better for the funeral as I have a concert that is my "final exam" for orchestra on Friday night and it will be easier to get through that first.
I'm still not sure how to react... 6 weeks ago, I didn't know. Now, I'm still not sure. My heart hurts. I'm not sure how else to explain it.
I have so many good memories of my grandparents... One of my favourites was always sleeping over at their house and we would go out to a movie and then to Luigi's for dinner (they have THE BEST pizza and pasta!) and then home to sleep. My grandma would rub my back and talk me to sleep... ("Your arms are getting sleepy.... your legs are getting heavy...") and I would sleep and dream... It's a long time ago. They were always the people I could call if I needed something, the place I could go if I needed somewhere to be...
My grandma has been sick for a while, about a year a half... But all in all, she still generally rememeber who I was (she had dementia) and we would sit and chat...
I don't think it has fully hit me yet... My mom wants me to sing this weekend, I'm still undecided... And I don't think it has hit her yet...
We talked about it and we said, it's like she just gave up...
But my grandparents are together again, and that will make them both happy so that's good...
I'm still not sure how to react... 6 weeks ago, I didn't know. Now, I'm still not sure. My heart hurts. I'm not sure how else to explain it.
I have so many good memories of my grandparents... One of my favourites was always sleeping over at their house and we would go out to a movie and then to Luigi's for dinner (they have THE BEST pizza and pasta!) and then home to sleep. My grandma would rub my back and talk me to sleep... ("Your arms are getting sleepy.... your legs are getting heavy...") and I would sleep and dream... It's a long time ago. They were always the people I could call if I needed something, the place I could go if I needed somewhere to be...
My grandma has been sick for a while, about a year a half... But all in all, she still generally rememeber who I was (she had dementia) and we would sit and chat...
I don't think it has fully hit me yet... My mom wants me to sing this weekend, I'm still undecided... And I don't think it has hit her yet...
We talked about it and we said, it's like she just gave up...
But my grandparents are together again, and that will make them both happy so that's good...
Monday, March 27, 2006
Lyrics...
Lyrics... The great thing about song lyrics is that they speak to everyone on a different level... Some songs speak to my heart, others to my mind, some to my soul. Right now, my heart hurts. I need a hug... (actually, more like, I need a cuddle but whatever....) I am SO frustrated. These are some lyrics that I love... for different reasons...
This song honestly makes me a little sad... But it is a beautiful song... (no pun intended) It's one that is kind of wistful and sappy... If you listen to it, you don't necessarily always catch the lyrics... If you read the lyrics, the song is sadder than you would think...
I can find peace in this song... I have sung it standing, sitting, lying down... With my hands raised high or cupped in front of me... With tears streaming down my face or with a strong voice and a big smile on my face... It has made me happy when I was feeling down and calmed my heart when I was feeling troubled.
I have memories of jumping up and down to this one and dancing. It makes me smile and makes me want to dance... It is a "happy-up-jumpy-dancing-song" and I love it for that reason... I have also been curled up in a ball praying while this song has been playing but the song has kept the energy level in the room up... This song is powerful...
I love this song for many reasons... It was the theme song my first summer at camp. I gave a talk at THING about Getting Dirty (I still have it around somewhere if anyone wants to read it) and used this song as an example.. It makes me think of doing God's work even if it's not always what you pictured yourself doing and having fun doing it because of the upbeat nature of the song... There are other reasons but I'll leave it at these for now...
The first time I heard this song, I cried... It spoke to me on SO many levels... Honestly, reading the lyrics right now, I'm tearing up... I have this song on CD and I listen to it when I am feeling down and I feel SO connected to God when I do... It's incredible. I think that while it speaks of an established connection to God, it can also speak of incredible promise of things to come with the trust we put in Him...
Now, that was something COMPLETELY different... That song takes me back to my "roots"... I grew up listening to a lot of country... In my dad's vehicles it was always country, in my mom's it was oldies or occasionally country. I love this song because it speaks of love, hopefulness, longevity of relationships and perseverance. It's a cute song with a sweet message... I sing this song at karaoke sometimes... The first time I sang it was at the request of a friend... Now, it brings back good memoreis fo that friendship but it's also a song that could give you hope for the future if you let it... (I'm not that fanciful right now...)
When this song was written it was a "protest song"... but by the time I was born and around to listen to it, I just liked the harmonies and the melody of Mary as she sang. It's a great song and I love the line specifically about "love between my brothers and my sisters" that is repeated throughout the song. The entire song is about justice, freedom and love... It's a great message and one that even today, we don't hear very often...
Ok, I'm done, that was a lot of thinking... I was trying to put together a list of songs that have lyrics that mean something to me and have influenced my life recently, which these all have... My problem is, I have a lot of other things on my mind which are serving as distractions... For now, I'm going to go back to doing homework and ignoring those other things. ;) I will write more another day! If anyone actually read this... I hope you enjoyed the lyrics and what they mean to me!
"You're Beautiful" by James Blunt
My life is brilliant
My love is pure
I saw an angel
Of that I'm sure
She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that
'Cause I've got a plan
You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
Yes she caught my eye
As we walked on by
She could see from my face that I was flying high
And I don't think that I'll see her again
But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end
You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you
da da da da...
You're beautiful, You're beautiful,
You're beautiful, it's true
There must be an angel with a smile on her face
When she thought up that I should be with you
But it's time to face the truth
I will never be with you
This song honestly makes me a little sad... But it is a beautiful song... (no pun intended) It's one that is kind of wistful and sappy... If you listen to it, you don't necessarily always catch the lyrics... If you read the lyrics, the song is sadder than you would think...
"Meet With Me" by Petra
I'm here to meet with you
Come and meet with me
I'm here to find you
Reveal yourself to me
(Chorus)
As I wait, you make me strong
As I long, you draw me to your arms
As I stand and sing your praise
You come, you come, and you fill this place
Won't you come, won't you come, and fill this place
I can find peace in this song... I have sung it standing, sitting, lying down... With my hands raised high or cupped in front of me... With tears streaming down my face or with a strong voice and a big smile on my face... It has made me happy when I was feeling down and calmed my heart when I was feeling troubled.
"Sweet Embrace" by Ten Shekel Shirt
When I'm faithless, You are faithful
When I'm lonely, You surround me
And when I am empty, You drown me in your sweet embrace
And when I am broken, You come restore my joy again
(chorus)
la-la-la Hey la-la
la-la-la I sing for You
la-la-la Hey la-la
To demonstrate my love for You
When I'm far away, then You draw me
When I am afraid, You surround me
And when I am empty, You drown me in Your sweet embrace
And when I am broken, You come restore my joy again
I have memories of jumping up and down to this one and dancing. It makes me smile and makes me want to dance... It is a "happy-up-jumpy-dancing-song" and I love it for that reason... I have also been curled up in a ball praying while this song has been playing but the song has kept the energy level in the room up... This song is powerful...
"Dirty" by Audio Adrenaline
Tired of being clean
sick of being proper
I want to live among the beggers
and dig out in the dirt
step outside the walls we built to protect us
don't be afraid to get some mud on your face
come on come on everybody
come on come on and serve some one
Let's get dirty, let's get used,
no matter where you come from,
if your beatten up or bruised,
let's get foolish, let's get free,
free to be the one thing,
you were meant to be,
let's get dirty!
You might get a bruise
or some blisters on your fingers
you might start to question
or wonder what it's worth
you might slip and fall
from the burdens that you carry
but you can't have this treasure
till you dig it from the dirt.
Come on Come on everybody,
Come on Come on and serve someone
Let's get dirty, let's get used,
no matter where you come from,
if your beaten up or brused,
let's get foolish, let's get free,
free to be the one thing,
you were meant to be,
Let's get dirty!
Come on Come on everybody
Come on Come on and serve someone
Come on Come on everybody
Come on Come on and serve someone
Let's get dirty, let's get used,
no matter where you come from,
if your beatten up or bruised,
let's get foolish, let's get free,
free to be the one thing,
you were meant to be,
Let's get dirty!
I love this song for many reasons... It was the theme song my first summer at camp. I gave a talk at THING about Getting Dirty (I still have it around somewhere if anyone wants to read it) and used this song as an example.. It makes me think of doing God's work even if it's not always what you pictured yourself doing and having fun doing it because of the upbeat nature of the song... There are other reasons but I'll leave it at these for now...
Unashamed Love by Ten Shekel Shirt
You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place
Worthy, Worthy
I open up my heart and let my spirit worship Yours
I open up my mouth and let a song of praise come forth
Worthy, You are worthy
(chorus)
Of a child-like faith
And of my honest praise
And of my unashamed love
Of a holy life
And of my sacrifice
And of my unashamed love
The first time I heard this song, I cried... It spoke to me on SO many levels... Honestly, reading the lyrics right now, I'm tearing up... I have this song on CD and I listen to it when I am feeling down and I feel SO connected to God when I do... It's incredible. I think that while it speaks of an established connection to God, it can also speak of incredible promise of things to come with the trust we put in Him...
"She's In Love With The Boy" by Trisha Yearwood
Katie's sitting on the old front porch
Watching the chickens peck the ground
There ain't a whole lot going on tonight
In this one horse town.
Over yonder, coming up the road
In a beat-up Chevy truck
Her boyfriend Tommy, is laying on the horn
Splashing through the mud and the muck
Her daddy says, "he ain't worth a lick
When it comes to brains, he got the short end of the stick"
But Katie's young and man she just don't care
She'd follow Tommy anywhere
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
And even if they have to run away
She's gonna marry that boy someday
Katie and Tommy at the drive-in movie
Parked in the very last row
They're too busy holding on to one another
To even care about the show
But later on outside the Tastee Freeze,
Tommy slips something on her hand
He says, "my high school ring will have to do
Till I can buy a wedding band"
Her daddy says, "he ain't worth a lick
When it comes to brains, he got the short end of the stick"
But Katie's young and man she just don't care
She'd follow Tommy anywhere
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
And even if they have to run away
She's gonna marry that boy someday
Her daddy's waiting up till half past twelve
When they come sneaking up the walk
He says, "young lady get on up to your room
While me and junior have a talk"
Mama breaks in and says, "don't lose your temper
It wasn't very long ago
When you yourself was just a hay-seed plowboy
Who didn't have a row to hoe,
My daddy said you was not worth a lick
When it came to brains, you got the short end of the stick
But he was wrong and honey you are too
Katie looks at Tommy like I still look at you"
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
What's meant to be will always find a way
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
What's meant to be will always find a way
She's gonna marry that boy someday.
Now, that was something COMPLETELY different... That song takes me back to my "roots"... I grew up listening to a lot of country... In my dad's vehicles it was always country, in my mom's it was oldies or occasionally country. I love this song because it speaks of love, hopefulness, longevity of relationships and perseverance. It's a cute song with a sweet message... I sing this song at karaoke sometimes... The first time I sang it was at the request of a friend... Now, it brings back good memoreis fo that friendship but it's also a song that could give you hope for the future if you let it... (I'm not that fanciful right now...)
"If I Had A Hammer" by Peter, Paul and Mary
If I had a hammer,
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening,
All over this land
I'd hammer out danger,
I'd hammer out a warning,
I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters,
All over this land.
If I had a bell,
I'd ring it in the morning,
I'd ring it in the evening,
All over this land
I'd ring out danger,
I'd ring out a warning
I'd ring out love between my brothers and my sisters,
All over this land.
If I had a song,
I'd sing it in the morning,
I'd sing it in the evening,
All over this land
I'd sing out danger,
I'd sing out a warning
I'd sing out love between my brothers and my sisters,
All over this land.
Well I got a hammer,
And I got a bell,
And I got a song to sing,
all over this land.
It's the hammer of Justice,
It's the bell of Freedom,
It's the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters,
All over this land.
It's the hammer of Justice,
It's the bell of Freedom,
It's the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters,
All over this land.
When this song was written it was a "protest song"... but by the time I was born and around to listen to it, I just liked the harmonies and the melody of Mary as she sang. It's a great song and I love the line specifically about "love between my brothers and my sisters" that is repeated throughout the song. The entire song is about justice, freedom and love... It's a great message and one that even today, we don't hear very often...
Ok, I'm done, that was a lot of thinking... I was trying to put together a list of songs that have lyrics that mean something to me and have influenced my life recently, which these all have... My problem is, I have a lot of other things on my mind which are serving as distractions... For now, I'm going to go back to doing homework and ignoring those other things. ;) I will write more another day! If anyone actually read this... I hope you enjoyed the lyrics and what they mean to me!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Not sure.
I don't know if anyone even reads this anymore. Meh. Whatever. *shrug*
I write my blog because I need to get my thoughts out. I know other people who do it for the same reason. When I am in Lethbridge full-time I don't have a support system like the one I have in Calgary (my family and friends) to talk to and work my thoughts and feelings out with so I tend to write more when I am here more...
This weekend I was in the Bridge Friday night (I stayed home and did homework... man, it was exciting... *rolling eyes*) and then we went on "Orchestra Tour" to Medicine Hat.
We left Saturday at 1ish and got back in the last couple of hours. It was ok... We were originally supposed to go to Regina and we figured that while it may slightly suck, it should be ok... But when it turned out to only be 24 hours (or so...) I know a lot of us weren't too impressed. We only had one concert which was the part that kind of sucked... The concert went incredibly well though!!! :D
I was sad to miss THING and not get to go to church this morning but I figure that I will make up for it later this week.
I have to admit, I'm exhausted... I find it hard to travel and spend one night anywhere right now... I'll be doing it a lot in the next little while.
Last night was fun though... A lot of people went out to the bar or to the liquor store (or both) and did whatever from there... A few of us went across the street from the hotel to Tim Horton's and hung out there for a while. (Carrie, Richelle, Deanna, Christina, Matt and I.) We sat and chatted, random people joined us (Cathy and Julie, Erin and Ross, etc.) and eventually we went back to the hotel. Carrie and I stayed up and watched "Mr. Holland's Opus" and then went to sleep. I woke up a bnch of times in the night... The people coming in and out of the hotel were being pretty loud... I am glad to be home. (Or at least not on the road.)
For now, I'm done... I'm having issues typing... I'm going to go sleep for a bit and then I have homework to work on.
I'm going to reach for rest and strength... *almost passing out*
I write my blog because I need to get my thoughts out. I know other people who do it for the same reason. When I am in Lethbridge full-time I don't have a support system like the one I have in Calgary (my family and friends) to talk to and work my thoughts and feelings out with so I tend to write more when I am here more...
This weekend I was in the Bridge Friday night (I stayed home and did homework... man, it was exciting... *rolling eyes*) and then we went on "Orchestra Tour" to Medicine Hat.
We left Saturday at 1ish and got back in the last couple of hours. It was ok... We were originally supposed to go to Regina and we figured that while it may slightly suck, it should be ok... But when it turned out to only be 24 hours (or so...) I know a lot of us weren't too impressed. We only had one concert which was the part that kind of sucked... The concert went incredibly well though!!! :D
I was sad to miss THING and not get to go to church this morning but I figure that I will make up for it later this week.
I have to admit, I'm exhausted... I find it hard to travel and spend one night anywhere right now... I'll be doing it a lot in the next little while.
Last night was fun though... A lot of people went out to the bar or to the liquor store (or both) and did whatever from there... A few of us went across the street from the hotel to Tim Horton's and hung out there for a while. (Carrie, Richelle, Deanna, Christina, Matt and I.) We sat and chatted, random people joined us (Cathy and Julie, Erin and Ross, etc.) and eventually we went back to the hotel. Carrie and I stayed up and watched "Mr. Holland's Opus" and then went to sleep. I woke up a bnch of times in the night... The people coming in and out of the hotel were being pretty loud... I am glad to be home. (Or at least not on the road.)
For now, I'm done... I'm having issues typing... I'm going to go sleep for a bit and then I have homework to work on.
I'm going to reach for rest and strength... *almost passing out*
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