Ok, I just had a phone interview and I'm not sure how I feel about how it went. I was asked some pretty tough questions. Like, how my friends would describe me... So, right now, all I can do is pray about it. I would ask that anyone reading this prays about it as well. I was told I would know by the end of March what the decision is. Oh, and part of what I had applied for was working in a worship setting but as I don't play a typical worship instrument (bass, keyboards, guitar) I'm not qualified. I think I may have to up the number of lessons on keyboard or take lessons on one of the other two... (Just thinking...)
Anyway, I'm feeling a little fragile due to a conversation I had earlier this afternoon and then the uncertainty based around this interview.
Plus, something is going on with my brother and he is acting weird (again) so prayer for him would also be good.
I'm on my way out for a bit, then back here for more homework!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Not sure what to say... :S
Ok...
I'm not even sure what to say...
I will start with the easy stuff. My mom's birthday party was great! Everyone really enjoyed themselves. We had a few people who didn't show due to weather (it was snowing pretty hard) and a few who apparently got the dates mixed up (we got a few phone messages to that effect, they thought it was on Saturday) but all in all, everyone who was there had a good time! It was cool to see some of my mom's friends and work colleagues that I haven't seen in a while! Plus, she enjoyed herself which is also good!
I have had a lot of people ask me recently if she is "really ok" and I'm not sure what to tell them. "She is as good as she can be under the circumstances." It's pretty safe to say it and then if they want to know more, they ask me or I send them in her direction. I worry about her a lot. I guess she told Ben the other night that she has worried about mke for 23 years so she guesses it's time for the tables to turn (or something to that effect).
I have been realizing lately who my true friends are. I have also realized that I don't tell them enough that I love and appreciate them. You know who you are. Thank you for all that you do.
And, family. I don't really think too much about what that word means. Sure, a group of people I am related to in some way. But I have a cousin who is more like my dad's cousin's daughter's husband who looks out for me and his wife and I are getting to be better friends all the time. Their kids are great and I love spending time with them. So, even if we are third cousins (or whatever that works out to being) we are tighter right now than I am with some of my first cousins... It's strange the way life works out.
Now, the part that I am going to have trouble writing... I am in the process of applying for jobs for the summer. Other summers this has been easy... I fill out an application or two or I already have something partially or completely lined up and I go from there. However, this year, I am feeling pulled in many directions. Specifically, I feel as though God is calling me to take a step outside of my comfortable little bubble and try something new. I have worked at Camp Chestermere the past three summers. The winters between in previous years, I have been doing schoolwork and staying in Lethbridge on weekends. This year, I said I could work the winter camps and made sure I was available as I have only been in Lethbridge maybe four weekends all year. But no one ever called me to work any of them... So, I'm not saying that I'm not welcome at camp... I have been back for numerous activities outside of the school year camps and such but... I don't know... I just don't feel as though I'm necessarily wanted. I know my campers want me there and some of the other counsellors have said they look forward to seeing and working with me but some fo the senior staff has made me feel as though I would be less than welcome. Anyway, I have applied to go back but I have also applied elsewhere. I have spiritual gifts that I haven't been having the chance to use and I want to try to have the opportunity to use them. As well, if God has put something on my heart, I generally think He has done so for a reason. So, for now, I will apply at places and see what happens... I am putting my reliance on Him because right now, I don't see any other way to go about this... It makes me nervous but I can't see any other way to do so... I have talked to a few close friends about how I feel and they are praying about it too... I'm not sure what else to do. Suffice it to say, if I feel called to take a position elsewhere. I will miss my friends and co-workers and of course my campers (my cabin girls, photojournalism peeps and dock buddies!!!). BUT... For those of you who know me or met me through there and we have become friends or even just acquaintances, if I don't go back to work there this summer, know that I won't forget you. I do want to stay friends! So, please continue to keep in touch and I will still come out and visit. Plus, who knows, I may be back sometime in the future. As well, at this point, I don't know what's going to happen so if you could all pray for me as I make decisions and apply at places, I would really appreciate it. I have brought some of my "younger siblings" out to camp and while they continue to thrive there, I feel as though I need somewhere new to spread my wings and expand my horizons... So, if I don't return, please, no one take it personally. I love you all!
I want to say more but I can't right now. I am going to go do homework, I have a big project due on Friday...
I'm not even sure what to say...
I will start with the easy stuff. My mom's birthday party was great! Everyone really enjoyed themselves. We had a few people who didn't show due to weather (it was snowing pretty hard) and a few who apparently got the dates mixed up (we got a few phone messages to that effect, they thought it was on Saturday) but all in all, everyone who was there had a good time! It was cool to see some of my mom's friends and work colleagues that I haven't seen in a while! Plus, she enjoyed herself which is also good!
I have had a lot of people ask me recently if she is "really ok" and I'm not sure what to tell them. "She is as good as she can be under the circumstances." It's pretty safe to say it and then if they want to know more, they ask me or I send them in her direction. I worry about her a lot. I guess she told Ben the other night that she has worried about mke for 23 years so she guesses it's time for the tables to turn (or something to that effect).
I have been realizing lately who my true friends are. I have also realized that I don't tell them enough that I love and appreciate them. You know who you are. Thank you for all that you do.
And, family. I don't really think too much about what that word means. Sure, a group of people I am related to in some way. But I have a cousin who is more like my dad's cousin's daughter's husband who looks out for me and his wife and I are getting to be better friends all the time. Their kids are great and I love spending time with them. So, even if we are third cousins (or whatever that works out to being) we are tighter right now than I am with some of my first cousins... It's strange the way life works out.
Now, the part that I am going to have trouble writing... I am in the process of applying for jobs for the summer. Other summers this has been easy... I fill out an application or two or I already have something partially or completely lined up and I go from there. However, this year, I am feeling pulled in many directions. Specifically, I feel as though God is calling me to take a step outside of my comfortable little bubble and try something new. I have worked at Camp Chestermere the past three summers. The winters between in previous years, I have been doing schoolwork and staying in Lethbridge on weekends. This year, I said I could work the winter camps and made sure I was available as I have only been in Lethbridge maybe four weekends all year. But no one ever called me to work any of them... So, I'm not saying that I'm not welcome at camp... I have been back for numerous activities outside of the school year camps and such but... I don't know... I just don't feel as though I'm necessarily wanted. I know my campers want me there and some of the other counsellors have said they look forward to seeing and working with me but some fo the senior staff has made me feel as though I would be less than welcome. Anyway, I have applied to go back but I have also applied elsewhere. I have spiritual gifts that I haven't been having the chance to use and I want to try to have the opportunity to use them. As well, if God has put something on my heart, I generally think He has done so for a reason. So, for now, I will apply at places and see what happens... I am putting my reliance on Him because right now, I don't see any other way to go about this... It makes me nervous but I can't see any other way to do so... I have talked to a few close friends about how I feel and they are praying about it too... I'm not sure what else to do. Suffice it to say, if I feel called to take a position elsewhere. I will miss my friends and co-workers and of course my campers (my cabin girls, photojournalism peeps and dock buddies!!!). BUT... For those of you who know me or met me through there and we have become friends or even just acquaintances, if I don't go back to work there this summer, know that I won't forget you. I do want to stay friends! So, please continue to keep in touch and I will still come out and visit. Plus, who knows, I may be back sometime in the future. As well, at this point, I don't know what's going to happen so if you could all pray for me as I make decisions and apply at places, I would really appreciate it. I have brought some of my "younger siblings" out to camp and while they continue to thrive there, I feel as though I need somewhere new to spread my wings and expand my horizons... So, if I don't return, please, no one take it personally. I love you all!
I want to say more but I can't right now. I am going to go do homework, I have a big project due on Friday...
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Tough times... Needing a break...
Last week was INCREDIBLY hard for my entire family... I held it together pretty well when I could. But the phone calls, e-mails, etc. were really getting to me. Between those and my mom's bestfriend coming over to "help" (she was driving me bananas!) and then my aunt and uncle coming in from out of town with (surprise!) my other aunt, it turned into what felt a lot like a gong show...
The funeral was lovely... There was a viewing prior to the funeral starting, the pallbearers and family gathered in a separate room from what would be the sanctuary (I think, not sure... maybe chapel?) and then once the viewing was over, the casket was closed. My mom commented when we went in before anyone else that he looked like he was sleeping and like he was going to open his eyes and pop up wondering what all the fuss was about at any time... He was smiling... But his hands were too stiff. I had held it together just fine for a few days prior to this but Friday, I lost it. I was unable to be consoled and I felt like my heart had been ripped out... :'( John gave the Eulogy and the service was presided over by the Pastor from St. David's (my grandparents are charter members) and Laurel and I were "music" for two of the songs. One, I sang by myself and Laurel accompanied me and the other, we sang together and Laurel played. The first song was "Take Me In" and the second was "Amazing Grace." I made it through both, amazingly. I looked at the ceiling, my friends, my family, my cousin standing at the back with her daughter and my aunt (who kept giving me "ok" signs and thumbs up). It was SO hard but we got through it... I had many people compliment me afterwards (I got an e-mail from my mom's cousin saying I should be on the radio singing my own songs and my mom's secretary from work said I made her cry it was so beautiful *blush*) but I don't take compliments very well and while I held it together, I wouldn't have been able to do it if my mom hadn't specifically asked and I knew she expected I'd be able to handle it and without Laurel up there with me I wouldn't have been able to stay up there without crying. I am SO lucky to have such an incredible friend. After the service, we went to the cemetary for the graveside service and then back to the funeral home for a reception. The reception had been planned for 40 people and there were over 80 there! There were people who knew our family from all kinds of places, including some of my friends, John's bestfriend, my mom's friends and work colleagues, my dad's cousin and her husband, my dad's sister and sister-in-law, my cousin from my dad's side and her family, my grandma's brother-in-law and his son and my grandfathers friends, work colleagues and people who knew him from cadets. It was really interesting... My grandma was still in hospital so she couldn't be there but many people sent cards expressing their condolences and we received flowers from some of our relatives and friends from out of town. After the reception, we had some of the family and a few friends back to the house. We had about 15 or so people in the house (more than I can remember at one time) and it was busy but everyone was in good spirits... Ben and Matt played with my younger cousins (Emma, Jack and Anders) and my cousin Laura (their mom) says she would hire either of the guys to baby-sit... :D I found that majorly amusing...
Friday night, I wasn't in the mood to sit around doing nothing so I went to Dana and Amber's birthday party at Coyote's. I hadn't ever been there and I really enjoyed it. Matt, John and I went down together and had a blast. Turns out Jordan (who used to play for MRC) is a bartender there and it was awesome to see him and get caught up a bit. He's now at U of C and he told me I should stop by and say hi more often. He was shocked to hear I am living in Lethbridge. :) Afterwards, we went to BP's and then the guys dropped me off and then John drove Matt home.
Saturday I picked Matt up and dropped him off at his car and then went to Starbucks and then to the THING Leadership Retreat. It was good. Much of what we went over I had already done in some form at some point but it's always good to review. I'm tempted to ask Laurel if at one of the next ones I can "lead" or "teach" one of them... I liked sitting through them and all but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to contribute or if I was out of place when I did, so I was trying really hard not to talk... I am working on leading by example, not using words and leading from the back as I have seen others do. I will see how it goes...
Saturday night, a bunch of us went to Schanks for the other part of Dana and Amber's birthday party. Dan, Ashley and Derek came to meet me and it was cool to get to meet them. I hope to get to know them better as time goes on... I haven't been very available this week though and once I go back to school, it may get worse. :( I do want to hang out with them again though.
My aunt and uncle (my dad's other cousin and his wife) came into town on Saturday so we had a family dinner out at my cousin's house in Cochrane on Sunday. It was cool to hang out with the kids and help out as needed. I took a bunch of pictures (that I need to get developed) and we had fun all in all. My dad and I had words at one point but I think we're fine (as fine as we can be) now.
This week, I did a lot of stuff with my family... Those from out of town and my immediate family as well. I also spent some time with my friends (my friend Chris and his fiancee are in from NY) and that was good. Specifically, I went for dinner with Chris and Chrystal (sp?) Tuesday, hung out with Ben on Wednesday and went out for dinner and then swimming on Thursday with Britney, Matt and Ben. Today, I hung out at home and did homework, Alexis and James came over for a bit and we watched a movie while I did homework and then I went for groceries and then to pick up some decorations for next week with my mom. I got some GREAT stuff! (LOL!!! :D :D :D) I can't wait until next week... ;)
As for that... we invited... approximately 120 people. So far, I have 56 people who have RSVP'd either yes or maybe (with only about 10 as maybe's) and that doesn't include the younger children who were included in the original count and may still come... The space is arranged, the food is ordered, the DJ is set, the cake is ordered, the decorations are bought, her gift is bought, all we need to do it figure out "drinks" for the immediate family, rent/borrow the rest of the DJ stuff we need and John and I need to finish the powerpoint presentation of pictures and such. I hope to get that done in the next few days.
I have had a few frustrating conversations with people in the past week and a bit... My aunt decided she needed to talk to me about who I should marry... Had I known that I was at that place in my life, I'm sure the conversation would have been fine. Also, I have been really worried about a good friend and while I am incredibly happy for her (she recently began a new relationship) I also worry because she has been one of my little sisters for the past few months... almost a year. She told me that we aren't that close and that many of us are just jealous of the fact that she's in a relationship. I was bothered by it and then figured we had let it go until she didn't show up to the funeral (as she had said she would) or to the THING Leadership Retreat (as she said she would) and told a mutual friend that I had attacked her. I'm sorry she felt that way... I guess I will leave her alone. Apparently, the friendship that I thought we were working on doesn't actually exist. :( *very sad*
The next few days are going to be hectic... I have a ton of work left to do on a project for school that I don't understand. I know I would get a zero for not handing it in, and I have highly contemplated that but I don't want a zero on any assignment in this class. I just need to not freak out... Whenever I get majorly frustrated, I need to remind myself to take a break... It's hard for me, because when I get frustrated, I want to work through it...
I'm going to get some sleep...
I am going to reach for stuff again... Patience, perseverance, hope (I need WAY more of that towards school) and help (as I need it, I don't like asking for help... It's something I have a hard time doing).
The funeral was lovely... There was a viewing prior to the funeral starting, the pallbearers and family gathered in a separate room from what would be the sanctuary (I think, not sure... maybe chapel?) and then once the viewing was over, the casket was closed. My mom commented when we went in before anyone else that he looked like he was sleeping and like he was going to open his eyes and pop up wondering what all the fuss was about at any time... He was smiling... But his hands were too stiff. I had held it together just fine for a few days prior to this but Friday, I lost it. I was unable to be consoled and I felt like my heart had been ripped out... :'( John gave the Eulogy and the service was presided over by the Pastor from St. David's (my grandparents are charter members) and Laurel and I were "music" for two of the songs. One, I sang by myself and Laurel accompanied me and the other, we sang together and Laurel played. The first song was "Take Me In" and the second was "Amazing Grace." I made it through both, amazingly. I looked at the ceiling, my friends, my family, my cousin standing at the back with her daughter and my aunt (who kept giving me "ok" signs and thumbs up). It was SO hard but we got through it... I had many people compliment me afterwards (I got an e-mail from my mom's cousin saying I should be on the radio singing my own songs and my mom's secretary from work said I made her cry it was so beautiful *blush*) but I don't take compliments very well and while I held it together, I wouldn't have been able to do it if my mom hadn't specifically asked and I knew she expected I'd be able to handle it and without Laurel up there with me I wouldn't have been able to stay up there without crying. I am SO lucky to have such an incredible friend. After the service, we went to the cemetary for the graveside service and then back to the funeral home for a reception. The reception had been planned for 40 people and there were over 80 there! There were people who knew our family from all kinds of places, including some of my friends, John's bestfriend, my mom's friends and work colleagues, my dad's cousin and her husband, my dad's sister and sister-in-law, my cousin from my dad's side and her family, my grandma's brother-in-law and his son and my grandfathers friends, work colleagues and people who knew him from cadets. It was really interesting... My grandma was still in hospital so she couldn't be there but many people sent cards expressing their condolences and we received flowers from some of our relatives and friends from out of town. After the reception, we had some of the family and a few friends back to the house. We had about 15 or so people in the house (more than I can remember at one time) and it was busy but everyone was in good spirits... Ben and Matt played with my younger cousins (Emma, Jack and Anders) and my cousin Laura (their mom) says she would hire either of the guys to baby-sit... :D I found that majorly amusing...
Friday night, I wasn't in the mood to sit around doing nothing so I went to Dana and Amber's birthday party at Coyote's. I hadn't ever been there and I really enjoyed it. Matt, John and I went down together and had a blast. Turns out Jordan (who used to play for MRC) is a bartender there and it was awesome to see him and get caught up a bit. He's now at U of C and he told me I should stop by and say hi more often. He was shocked to hear I am living in Lethbridge. :) Afterwards, we went to BP's and then the guys dropped me off and then John drove Matt home.
Saturday I picked Matt up and dropped him off at his car and then went to Starbucks and then to the THING Leadership Retreat. It was good. Much of what we went over I had already done in some form at some point but it's always good to review. I'm tempted to ask Laurel if at one of the next ones I can "lead" or "teach" one of them... I liked sitting through them and all but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to contribute or if I was out of place when I did, so I was trying really hard not to talk... I am working on leading by example, not using words and leading from the back as I have seen others do. I will see how it goes...
Saturday night, a bunch of us went to Schanks for the other part of Dana and Amber's birthday party. Dan, Ashley and Derek came to meet me and it was cool to get to meet them. I hope to get to know them better as time goes on... I haven't been very available this week though and once I go back to school, it may get worse. :( I do want to hang out with them again though.
My aunt and uncle (my dad's other cousin and his wife) came into town on Saturday so we had a family dinner out at my cousin's house in Cochrane on Sunday. It was cool to hang out with the kids and help out as needed. I took a bunch of pictures (that I need to get developed) and we had fun all in all. My dad and I had words at one point but I think we're fine (as fine as we can be) now.
This week, I did a lot of stuff with my family... Those from out of town and my immediate family as well. I also spent some time with my friends (my friend Chris and his fiancee are in from NY) and that was good. Specifically, I went for dinner with Chris and Chrystal (sp?) Tuesday, hung out with Ben on Wednesday and went out for dinner and then swimming on Thursday with Britney, Matt and Ben. Today, I hung out at home and did homework, Alexis and James came over for a bit and we watched a movie while I did homework and then I went for groceries and then to pick up some decorations for next week with my mom. I got some GREAT stuff! (LOL!!! :D :D :D) I can't wait until next week... ;)
As for that... we invited... approximately 120 people. So far, I have 56 people who have RSVP'd either yes or maybe (with only about 10 as maybe's) and that doesn't include the younger children who were included in the original count and may still come... The space is arranged, the food is ordered, the DJ is set, the cake is ordered, the decorations are bought, her gift is bought, all we need to do it figure out "drinks" for the immediate family, rent/borrow the rest of the DJ stuff we need and John and I need to finish the powerpoint presentation of pictures and such. I hope to get that done in the next few days.
I have had a few frustrating conversations with people in the past week and a bit... My aunt decided she needed to talk to me about who I should marry... Had I known that I was at that place in my life, I'm sure the conversation would have been fine. Also, I have been really worried about a good friend and while I am incredibly happy for her (she recently began a new relationship) I also worry because she has been one of my little sisters for the past few months... almost a year. She told me that we aren't that close and that many of us are just jealous of the fact that she's in a relationship. I was bothered by it and then figured we had let it go until she didn't show up to the funeral (as she had said she would) or to the THING Leadership Retreat (as she said she would) and told a mutual friend that I had attacked her. I'm sorry she felt that way... I guess I will leave her alone. Apparently, the friendship that I thought we were working on doesn't actually exist. :( *very sad*
The next few days are going to be hectic... I have a ton of work left to do on a project for school that I don't understand. I know I would get a zero for not handing it in, and I have highly contemplated that but I don't want a zero on any assignment in this class. I just need to not freak out... Whenever I get majorly frustrated, I need to remind myself to take a break... It's hard for me, because when I get frustrated, I want to work through it...
I'm going to get some sleep...
I am going to reach for stuff again... Patience, perseverance, hope (I need WAY more of that towards school) and help (as I need it, I don't like asking for help... It's something I have a hard time doing).
Friday, February 17, 2006
Praise God for Friends when you need them most...
Needless to say, it's been a long week.
Praise God for those people who have offered their help to make it better. And Praise God for those people who have taken the time to call and make sure I'm ok.
I have been texting on my phone a lot this week... It's been good to "chat" with someone who seems to get me... I look forward to meeting him in person... This weekend may be when we both have time, I will have to see what happens. I don't necessarily believe in fate but thus far, thing seem too good to be true... If that's the case, when will the other shoe drop? :S
Tomorrow is going to be INCREDIBLY hard!!! I am going to be singing "Take Me In" with Laurel accompanying me on the guitar and then Laurel and I are going to sing "Amazing Grace" and she's going to play that one too.
One of THE most awkward conversations I have had to have with some of my close friends lately was asking if they would be pallbearers tomorrow... See, my mom and grandpa are both only children and my brother and I would REALLY rather not do it... So I asked some of my friends, some of my grandparents friends want to be included and a couple of my relatives from my dad's side of the family that are coming. I am surprised and touched by the number of my friends who are willing to help.
I am going to try and get some sleep... I got about three hours of sleep last night and I'm exhausted... :(
Praise God for those people who have offered their help to make it better. And Praise God for those people who have taken the time to call and make sure I'm ok.
I have been texting on my phone a lot this week... It's been good to "chat" with someone who seems to get me... I look forward to meeting him in person... This weekend may be when we both have time, I will have to see what happens. I don't necessarily believe in fate but thus far, thing seem too good to be true... If that's the case, when will the other shoe drop? :S
Tomorrow is going to be INCREDIBLY hard!!! I am going to be singing "Take Me In" with Laurel accompanying me on the guitar and then Laurel and I are going to sing "Amazing Grace" and she's going to play that one too.
One of THE most awkward conversations I have had to have with some of my close friends lately was asking if they would be pallbearers tomorrow... See, my mom and grandpa are both only children and my brother and I would REALLY rather not do it... So I asked some of my friends, some of my grandparents friends want to be included and a couple of my relatives from my dad's side of the family that are coming. I am surprised and touched by the number of my friends who are willing to help.
I am going to try and get some sleep... I got about three hours of sleep last night and I'm exhausted... :(
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Something to kill time... and braincells... while I can't sleep...
I saw this on someone's blog on Nex and thought it was pretty funny... Anyone who reads this and has their own blog, copy and paste the list and see how many you have seen...
*****************************************************************************
If you have seen more than 70 you have no life.
Do you have a life?
(My note: I added a few because there were sequels listed for many of them but missing on others... so it should be more like, "if you have seen between 75 and 80, you have no life..." I can guess (before I mark them) that I probably don't have a life... :D
( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(*) Grease
(*) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(*) The Mexican
( ) Fight Club
(*) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
(*) The Princess Bride
( ) Young Frankenstien
(*) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(*) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Saw
( ) White Noise
(*) White Oleander
(*) Anger Management
(*) 50 First Dates
( ) Jason X
(*) Scream
(*) Scream 2
(*) Scream 3
(*) Scary Movie
(*) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
(*) American Pie
(*) American Pie 2
(*) American Wedding
(*) Harry Potter
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(*) The Wedding Singer
(*) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
(*) Lilo &Stitch
(*) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Ghosts
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(*) White Chicks
(*) The Butterfly Effect
(*) Thirteen Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(*) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Murderball
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(*) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) King Pin
(*) Never Been Kissed
(*) Meet The Parents
(*) Meet the Fockers
(*) Eight Crazy Nights
(*) A Cinderella Story
(*) The Terminal
(*) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(*) Passport to Paris
(*) Dumb &Dumber
( ) Dumb &Dumberer
(*) Final Destination
(*) Final Destination 2
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
(*) Harold & Kumar go to White Castle
(*) Practical Magic
(*) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Secret Window
(*) I Am Sam
(*) The Whole Nine Yards
(*) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Bride of Chucky
(*) Ten Things I Hate About You
(*) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(*) Sixteen Candles
(*) Pretty In Pink
(*) The Breakfast Club
( ) Coach Carter
( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
(*) Joy Ride
( ) Seven
(*) Ocean's Eleven
(*) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(*) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
(*) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(*) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
(*) My Boss' daughter
(*) Maid in Manhattan
(*) Jersey Girl
( ) Fraility
( ) Best Bet
(*) She's All That
(*) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
(*) Event Horizon
(*) Ever After
(*) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(*) X-Men
( ) X-2
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(*) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
(*) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
(*) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) Cruel Intentions 3
(*) The Hot Chick
( ) Swimfan
(*) Miracle
(*) Old School
(*) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(*) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(*) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
(*) Hitch
(*) The Fifth Element
(*) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
(*) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
( ) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(*) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(*) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(*) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi...
( ) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
(*) Air Force One
(*) Con Air
( ) For Richer or Poorer
( ) Trainspotting
( ) People Under the Stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
(*) Sound of Music
(*) Mary Poppins
(*) Parent Trap 1
(*) Parent Trap 2
(*) Gone With the Wind
(*) Casablanca
( ) The Burbs
(*) The Terminator
(*) Terminator 2
(*) T3
(*) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
( ) Meet Joe Black
(*) Nightmare Before Christmas
( ) The Silence of the Lambs
( ) Sleepy Hollow
(*) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
(*) Dead Poet's Society
( ) The Chronicles of Narnia-The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardorbe
(*) King Kong
***************************************************************************
I've seen like 98 of them... But I think some of them are unfair as they are things I watched in school or things I was dragged to... Also, there are things that I "watched" but more like I slept through them... Whatever... :D I added something like 20 or so...
*****************************************************************************
If you have seen more than 70 you have no life.
Do you have a life?
(My note: I added a few because there were sequels listed for many of them but missing on others... so it should be more like, "if you have seen between 75 and 80, you have no life..." I can guess (before I mark them) that I probably don't have a life... :D
( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(*) Grease
(*) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(*) The Mexican
( ) Fight Club
(*) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
(*) The Princess Bride
( ) Young Frankenstien
(*) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
(*) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Saw
( ) White Noise
(*) White Oleander
(*) Anger Management
(*) 50 First Dates
( ) Jason X
(*) Scream
(*) Scream 2
(*) Scream 3
(*) Scary Movie
(*) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
(*) American Pie
(*) American Pie 2
(*) American Wedding
(*) Harry Potter
( ) Harry Potter 2
( ) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil I
( ) Resident Evil 2
(*) The Wedding Singer
(*) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
(*) Lilo &Stitch
(*) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Ghosts
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(*) White Chicks
(*) The Butterfly Effect
(*) Thirteen Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
(*) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Murderball
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(*) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) King Pin
(*) Never Been Kissed
(*) Meet The Parents
(*) Meet the Fockers
(*) Eight Crazy Nights
(*) A Cinderella Story
(*) The Terminal
(*) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(*) Passport to Paris
(*) Dumb &Dumber
( ) Dumb &Dumberer
(*) Final Destination
(*) Final Destination 2
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
(*) Harold & Kumar go to White Castle
(*) Practical Magic
(*) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Secret Window
(*) I Am Sam
(*) The Whole Nine Yards
(*) The Whole Ten Yards
( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Bride of Chucky
(*) Ten Things I Hate About You
(*) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(*) Sixteen Candles
(*) Pretty In Pink
(*) The Breakfast Club
( ) Coach Carter
( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
(*) Joy Ride
( ) Seven
(*) Ocean's Eleven
(*) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(*) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
(*) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(*) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
(*) My Boss' daughter
(*) Maid in Manhattan
(*) Jersey Girl
( ) Fraility
( ) Best Bet
(*) She's All That
(*) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
(*) Event Horizon
(*) Ever After
(*) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(*) X-Men
( ) X-2
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(*) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Others
(*) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
(*) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) Cruel Intentions 3
(*) The Hot Chick
( ) Swimfan
(*) Miracle
(*) Old School
(*) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(*) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(*) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
(*) Hitch
(*) The Fifth Element
(*) Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace
(*) Star Wars Episode II Attack of The Clones
( ) Star Wars Episode III Revenge of The Sith
(*) Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope
(*) Star Wars Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(*) Star Wars Episode VI Return of The Jedi...
( ) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
(*) Air Force One
(*) Con Air
( ) For Richer or Poorer
( ) Trainspotting
( ) People Under the Stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
(*) Sound of Music
(*) Mary Poppins
(*) Parent Trap 1
(*) Parent Trap 2
(*) Gone With the Wind
(*) Casablanca
( ) The Burbs
(*) The Terminator
(*) Terminator 2
(*) T3
(*) Empire Records
( ) SLC Punk
( ) Meet Joe Black
(*) Nightmare Before Christmas
( ) The Silence of the Lambs
( ) Sleepy Hollow
(*) I Heart Huckabees
( ) 24 Hour Party People
(*) Dead Poet's Society
( ) The Chronicles of Narnia-The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardorbe
(*) King Kong
***************************************************************************
I've seen like 98 of them... But I think some of them are unfair as they are things I watched in school or things I was dragged to... Also, there are things that I "watched" but more like I slept through them... Whatever... :D I added something like 20 or so...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
My Grandfather.
My grandfather passed away tonight at approximately 9:00pm.
My heart hurts.
My family will miss him...
I know he is in a better place and without pain and we are happy that he didn't suffer but it is going to be rough on my grandmother. Please pray for us as we go through this time.
Without God, my family and friends, I think I would be a complete mess right now...
As it is, I am crying a lot but I know I will get through this and he will live on in the memories of those who loved him.
My heart hurts.
My family will miss him...
I know he is in a better place and without pain and we are happy that he didn't suffer but it is going to be rough on my grandmother. Please pray for us as we go through this time.
Without God, my family and friends, I think I would be a complete mess right now...
As it is, I am crying a lot but I know I will get through this and he will live on in the memories of those who loved him.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Frustrated with myself...
Short blog today, I have a ton of stuff to do this week.
I did some analyzation of a piece that is due on Friday, I did some of it wrong... It is a V of V of whatever instead of just a set of elisions (if you don't know music, this may be Swahili to you...) and I didn't realize it when I was doing it and now I have to redo it... AHHHHH!
I have a midterm (singing) on Wednesday. I don't know what she expects and I have tried to go over the pieces but they are frustrating me. I don't know if she wants them on scale degree numbers, mod 12 numbers or "la"... And I don't know if she wants them analyzed before we sing them... Grrr.... So many choices and so little information...
I have another exam tomorrow... It's my Canadian History midterm and it was one of those "hows the studying going for the midterm tomorrow?" "The midterm's tomorrow?" "Ya, the 14th." Tomorrow's the 14th" Does this tell anyone how my last few weeks have been and how far off my internal clock is right now??? I KNEW when the exam was but I completely didn't realize that the 14th is TOMORROW!!!!
I have an exam on Friday... From 2-4... Which means I can't leave for Calgary until after that. It's a class I am working my butt off in but it's the same prof as the singing exam on Wednesday and I swear she hates me so I'm worried...
On top of which, I am almost done the planning for my mom's 50th birthday party... I called and solidified the room and ordered the food today. I have all of the guests phone numbers or e-mail addresses and all I need to do is send the e-mail and call those people I haven't already mentioned it to. I called a few of the out of town guests yesterday and I will still send them/call them with the information now that it is finalized. All I need to do is get decorations, order a cake and flowers and arrange DJ equipment for John. *sigh* Not too bad for 24 hours work so far...
I guess I just feel kind of spacey right now. Like I'm not retaining all of the information I have been reading and I am getting frustrated with myself which isn't helping...
Today, I'm not reaching for anything, I am striving for brilliance so I can do well on my exams this week and I am hoping for my grandparents to get better and I am praying that everything works out the way it is meant to.
I did some analyzation of a piece that is due on Friday, I did some of it wrong... It is a V of V of whatever instead of just a set of elisions (if you don't know music, this may be Swahili to you...) and I didn't realize it when I was doing it and now I have to redo it... AHHHHH!
I have a midterm (singing) on Wednesday. I don't know what she expects and I have tried to go over the pieces but they are frustrating me. I don't know if she wants them on scale degree numbers, mod 12 numbers or "la"... And I don't know if she wants them analyzed before we sing them... Grrr.... So many choices and so little information...
I have another exam tomorrow... It's my Canadian History midterm and it was one of those "hows the studying going for the midterm tomorrow?" "The midterm's tomorrow?" "Ya, the 14th." Tomorrow's the 14th" Does this tell anyone how my last few weeks have been and how far off my internal clock is right now??? I KNEW when the exam was but I completely didn't realize that the 14th is TOMORROW!!!!
I have an exam on Friday... From 2-4... Which means I can't leave for Calgary until after that. It's a class I am working my butt off in but it's the same prof as the singing exam on Wednesday and I swear she hates me so I'm worried...
On top of which, I am almost done the planning for my mom's 50th birthday party... I called and solidified the room and ordered the food today. I have all of the guests phone numbers or e-mail addresses and all I need to do is send the e-mail and call those people I haven't already mentioned it to. I called a few of the out of town guests yesterday and I will still send them/call them with the information now that it is finalized. All I need to do is get decorations, order a cake and flowers and arrange DJ equipment for John. *sigh* Not too bad for 24 hours work so far...
I guess I just feel kind of spacey right now. Like I'm not retaining all of the information I have been reading and I am getting frustrated with myself which isn't helping...
Today, I'm not reaching for anything, I am striving for brilliance so I can do well on my exams this week and I am hoping for my grandparents to get better and I am praying that everything works out the way it is meant to.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Good Conversations...
Ok, so lately I haven't been doing a lot of chatting. I have spent a lot of time on Nexopia, but less and less time on MSN. Mainly because I am not in the mood to share how I am feeling with a bunch of people who don't care. I'm not saying that everyone doesn't care but other people have their own stuff to deal with and they don't need my crap on top of everything else. Even talking to my mom has been difficult lately... She tries to relate to anything I tell her and say she understands but I feel like sometimes, her "understanding" is more like her blowing me off and that hurts. I know it's not intended that way and that she is going through a rough time and I am trying to be here for her but like she doesn't "get" me, I don't feel like I completely "get" her...
Anyway... this week has had it's ups and downs and I have had emotional highs and lows... I've laughed and cried... I've wanted to scream... but I've sat silently... It's been hard. I've had some good friends backing me up. And people I had never expected to be there for me lend support as well. Holly and I went to a movie this week. ("Brokeback Mountain") I got to talking to some random people online and made a couple of new friends. I started talking to a guy named Dan, his friend Ashley and her bf Derek. They are from Calgary and Edmonton respectively and seem really nice. Normal even. I'm not the type of person to meet people online and then meet up with them in person but I may go for drinks with them sometime. I talked to Shaun on MSN today about going with me and he said he would. :) We have talked a lot in the past few days about a lot of things and it is weird because I feel pretty comfortable talking to them... I'm not normally like that with people I don't know. I am still being pretty guarded but I am alwaysup to meeting new friends so we will see what happens.
Today is Matt's 21st Birthday! I called him to wish him Happy Birthday and then told him over MSN that he is officially old. He said he thinks 21 was when I started saying I was old so that would fit. :) I bugged him a bit more about it but it was all in good fun... I wonder when a group of us are going to go to Vegas now??? We are all of age... (well, for the most part... :P)
Otherwise, today was kind of amusing... My alarm didn't go off this morning when it was supposed to so I woke up about 15 minutes before the END of my first class... I was like "holy s***" and text messaged Ashleigh and she called me when she was done history to tell me she was pretty sure my History class was cancelled (different prof's) so I went online and checked my e-mail and sure enough, no class! So my history class was cancelled AND my world rhythm class as well! (that prof is out of town on tour!) So, I took my time and had a leisurely shower, checked my e-mail and nex and such and then drove through Starbucks (ok, not "fast food" but I'm sure it's not great for me either in the long run... although, how bad skim steamed milk or lemonade blended with ice could be, I don't know...) then I went to the U and did some running around (not literally, my knee is killing me) and then went to Orchestra. I ignored French-boy because I am going to shove that clarinet of his somewhere the son doesn't shine if he keeps being so dumb and Carrie and I spent most of the rehearsal talking... (oops!) But it was mainly about the music (I swear!) and rehearsal flew by!
I got home in time to talk to Dan for a few before he went out to babysit for some friends and then had something to eat and had a bath and watched "Elizabethtown" while I did musical analysis. Now, I am going to finish the musical analysis and go to bed pretty early. I need to get some sleep as it sounds like this weekend is going to be a busy one. :)
Anyway... this week has had it's ups and downs and I have had emotional highs and lows... I've laughed and cried... I've wanted to scream... but I've sat silently... It's been hard. I've had some good friends backing me up. And people I had never expected to be there for me lend support as well. Holly and I went to a movie this week. ("Brokeback Mountain") I got to talking to some random people online and made a couple of new friends. I started talking to a guy named Dan, his friend Ashley and her bf Derek. They are from Calgary and Edmonton respectively and seem really nice. Normal even. I'm not the type of person to meet people online and then meet up with them in person but I may go for drinks with them sometime. I talked to Shaun on MSN today about going with me and he said he would. :) We have talked a lot in the past few days about a lot of things and it is weird because I feel pretty comfortable talking to them... I'm not normally like that with people I don't know. I am still being pretty guarded but I am alwaysup to meeting new friends so we will see what happens.
Today is Matt's 21st Birthday! I called him to wish him Happy Birthday and then told him over MSN that he is officially old. He said he thinks 21 was when I started saying I was old so that would fit. :) I bugged him a bit more about it but it was all in good fun... I wonder when a group of us are going to go to Vegas now??? We are all of age... (well, for the most part... :P)
Otherwise, today was kind of amusing... My alarm didn't go off this morning when it was supposed to so I woke up about 15 minutes before the END of my first class... I was like "holy s***" and text messaged Ashleigh and she called me when she was done history to tell me she was pretty sure my History class was cancelled (different prof's) so I went online and checked my e-mail and sure enough, no class! So my history class was cancelled AND my world rhythm class as well! (that prof is out of town on tour!) So, I took my time and had a leisurely shower, checked my e-mail and nex and such and then drove through Starbucks (ok, not "fast food" but I'm sure it's not great for me either in the long run... although, how bad skim steamed milk or lemonade blended with ice could be, I don't know...) then I went to the U and did some running around (not literally, my knee is killing me) and then went to Orchestra. I ignored French-boy because I am going to shove that clarinet of his somewhere the son doesn't shine if he keeps being so dumb and Carrie and I spent most of the rehearsal talking... (oops!) But it was mainly about the music (I swear!) and rehearsal flew by!
I got home in time to talk to Dan for a few before he went out to babysit for some friends and then had something to eat and had a bath and watched "Elizabethtown" while I did musical analysis. Now, I am going to finish the musical analysis and go to bed pretty early. I need to get some sleep as it sounds like this weekend is going to be a busy one. :)
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Laurel tagged me when she did this a few days ago so I should probably do this... :)
Four Jobs You Have Had In Your Life:
1. Telemarketer.
2. Concession Stand Worker.
3. Swimming Instructor.
4. Retail Cashier/Copy Center Associate.
Four movies you could watch over and over again (not to be confused with favourite movies):
1. 10 Things I Hate About You
2. Clueless
3. My Bestfriend's Wedding
4.
Four TV shows you love(d) to watch:
1. Gilmore Girls
2. One Tree Hill
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Desperate Housewives
Four places you've lived:
1. My parents house in NE Calgary
2. My grandparents house in NW Calgary
3. My cousins house in Cochrane
4. My apartment in Lethbridge
Four places you've been on vacation to:
1. Europe (Scotland and England to be exact...)
2. The Maritimes (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and P.E.I.)
3. The states (all over the Northern States and all down the West Coast)
4. B.C. - Grand Forks at our "vacation" house
Four places you would rather be:
1. Somewhere with my friends
2. Australia...
3. Somewhere warm (Hawaii, Caribbean...)
4. Sleeping
Four of your favourite foods:
1. Spaghetti
2. Caesar Salad
3. Apple Crumble
4. Vanilla Steamed Milk
Four websites you visit daily:
1. www.hotmail.com
2. blogger.com
3. www.nexopia.com
4. webmail.uleth.ca
Four tagged:
I don't think 4 people even read this... and who potentially might read it probably already have been tagged. *sigh*
1. Ben
2. Shaun
3. Matt
4. Taryn
To end this, my day has been interesting... After the emotional upheaval of yesterday, I woke up this morning and wasn't feeling much better... I didn't go to school this morning, my eyes were basically glued shut (I know... ewwwww...) and it took me a while to get going. I called Ash and she knew I wasn't going to be there and almost immediately after I got off the phone, Ben called to say "hi" and see how I was. I thought it was nice of him to call. When I got to school for my afternoon class I realized I had my music for orchestra but not my clarinet... Shoot. So I called John and he was being a dork about bringing it over so I ran into my history class late and upset... I told the leaders of my section that I am having a rough week and that my clarinet was at home and they told me that they know I know my part and they aren't worried about me so I should just go home, not freak, chill and they will see me tomorrow in class and Thursday in Orchestra. *woosh* went the air as I breathed out after talking to them... I was trying really hard not to cry and they were so nice... Sarah even gave me a hug and told me that if I need to talk to come find her... I don't know that I would but it's a nice offer... I got to be one of the drummers during my African drumming class and my hands were numb by the end of it... Ash and I were tlaking about why I had been upset yesterday and I told her about a lot of it, as well as about a friend that I miss talking to... She thought I meant Will... I clarified and she was surprised but then realized that at this time last year, Will and I hadn't even started dating, so while we talked, it was more of a "hanging out" than a "baring the soul" friendship. After class, I came home and John and I got Little Caesars Hot and Ready for dinner and then I went and picked up some milk and juice at Safeway and rented a few DVD's at Blockbuster (Just Like Heaven, In Her Shoes, Elizabethtown and Waiting) and stopped at Starbucks for a Vanilla Creme (yay for gift cards...) and then came home and have been watching movies since. In the last few minutes I got a text message from Holly asking if I want to go see a movie tomorrow night... We are going to go see the "gay cowboy movie" or "Brokeback Mountain" (Heath Ledger... :D) tomorrow night once she is done ringette. She is a nice person and I am glad my brother has found someone like her. Last night she sent me a message over Nex saying that she "luffs me"... It was nice of her. She also said that she was going to call to talk to me when John told her I was upset but figured I might need space. I am glad she didn't push, I'm not sure if I wanted to talk or not when she would have been calling... It was a long night... Speaking of which, I need sleep so off to bed I go...
Four Jobs You Have Had In Your Life:
1. Telemarketer.
2. Concession Stand Worker.
3. Swimming Instructor.
4. Retail Cashier/Copy Center Associate.
Four movies you could watch over and over again (not to be confused with favourite movies):
1. 10 Things I Hate About You
2. Clueless
3. My Bestfriend's Wedding
4.
Four TV shows you love(d) to watch:
1. Gilmore Girls
2. One Tree Hill
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Desperate Housewives
Four places you've lived:
1. My parents house in NE Calgary
2. My grandparents house in NW Calgary
3. My cousins house in Cochrane
4. My apartment in Lethbridge
Four places you've been on vacation to:
1. Europe (Scotland and England to be exact...)
2. The Maritimes (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and P.E.I.)
3. The states (all over the Northern States and all down the West Coast)
4. B.C. - Grand Forks at our "vacation" house
Four places you would rather be:
1. Somewhere with my friends
2. Australia...
3. Somewhere warm (Hawaii, Caribbean...)
4. Sleeping
Four of your favourite foods:
1. Spaghetti
2. Caesar Salad
3. Apple Crumble
4. Vanilla Steamed Milk
Four websites you visit daily:
1. www.hotmail.com
2. blogger.com
3. www.nexopia.com
4. webmail.uleth.ca
Four tagged:
I don't think 4 people even read this... and who potentially might read it probably already have been tagged. *sigh*
1. Ben
2. Shaun
3. Matt
4. Taryn
To end this, my day has been interesting... After the emotional upheaval of yesterday, I woke up this morning and wasn't feeling much better... I didn't go to school this morning, my eyes were basically glued shut (I know... ewwwww...) and it took me a while to get going. I called Ash and she knew I wasn't going to be there and almost immediately after I got off the phone, Ben called to say "hi" and see how I was. I thought it was nice of him to call. When I got to school for my afternoon class I realized I had my music for orchestra but not my clarinet... Shoot. So I called John and he was being a dork about bringing it over so I ran into my history class late and upset... I told the leaders of my section that I am having a rough week and that my clarinet was at home and they told me that they know I know my part and they aren't worried about me so I should just go home, not freak, chill and they will see me tomorrow in class and Thursday in Orchestra. *woosh* went the air as I breathed out after talking to them... I was trying really hard not to cry and they were so nice... Sarah even gave me a hug and told me that if I need to talk to come find her... I don't know that I would but it's a nice offer... I got to be one of the drummers during my African drumming class and my hands were numb by the end of it... Ash and I were tlaking about why I had been upset yesterday and I told her about a lot of it, as well as about a friend that I miss talking to... She thought I meant Will... I clarified and she was surprised but then realized that at this time last year, Will and I hadn't even started dating, so while we talked, it was more of a "hanging out" than a "baring the soul" friendship. After class, I came home and John and I got Little Caesars Hot and Ready for dinner and then I went and picked up some milk and juice at Safeway and rented a few DVD's at Blockbuster (Just Like Heaven, In Her Shoes, Elizabethtown and Waiting) and stopped at Starbucks for a Vanilla Creme (yay for gift cards...) and then came home and have been watching movies since. In the last few minutes I got a text message from Holly asking if I want to go see a movie tomorrow night... We are going to go see the "gay cowboy movie" or "Brokeback Mountain" (Heath Ledger... :D) tomorrow night once she is done ringette. She is a nice person and I am glad my brother has found someone like her. Last night she sent me a message over Nex saying that she "luffs me"... It was nice of her. She also said that she was going to call to talk to me when John told her I was upset but figured I might need space. I am glad she didn't push, I'm not sure if I wanted to talk or not when she would have been calling... It was a long night... Speaking of which, I need sleep so off to bed I go...
Something Random...
I stole this from Laurel's blog who got it from Carol's but I also got it by e-mail from Shannon as well!
You are supposed to copy and paste the list and then bold anything that is true about you!
Some of them are pretty graphic, so read at your own risk.
Here I go!
I hate my name. - I used to anyway, now I don't mind it so much.
I miss somebody right now. - My friends and family who aren't here...
I watch less tv than I used to. - Only because I am never home when the good shows are on but I tape some of the ones I really like.
I love olives. - I prefer black to green...
I love sleeping. - I never get enough sleep though...
I own a lot of books. - probably the definition of "a lot" is less than half of my collection. :)
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games. - Some, depends, mainly ones like tetris, etc.
I believe honesty is the best policy.
I like and respect Al Sharpton. - Should I know who this is?
I curse a lot. - I try not to but sometimes I slip...
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I have a hobby.
I carry my knife/razor everywheres with me. - No, why would I?
I've never broken anyone else's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I love rain. - True on days when I have time to go walking in it, especially if it's a warm rain...
I'm REALLY paranoid. - About some things...
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. - Unfortunately... Yes...
I need money right now. - I don't know about "needing" it exactly but it would make my life a whole lot easier right about now...
I love sushi.
I talk really fast when I get excited/nervous. - Or all the time... I try to slow down though, I know it throws people off.
I have minty fresh breath in the morning.
I have semi-long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one brother and/or sister.
I was born outside of Canada.
I shave my legs.
I have a twin.
I am actually wasting time doing this thing.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. - I probably could but it would be tough...
I like the way I look most of the time. - Actually more and more lately... I have been caring less and less what others think and because of that, I tend to end up liking how I look when I do care...
I have friends.
I know how to do cornrows.
I am very pessimistic. - Sometimes, I try to be positive!
I have mood swings. - Sometimes, not something I can always control. :(
I think Britney Spears is hot.
I have cheated on a significant other.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I think that I'm popular.
I have dyed my hair.
I have kissed someone of the same sex. - 18th birthday party... nuf said.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. - At home...
I love to shop. - I would like this more if I had money. (I agree with Laurel.)
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm obsessed with my blog! - Only slightly...
I don't hate anyone.
I'm embarrassed to be seen with my mother. - Never!
I have a mobile phone. - YAY FOR CELL PHONES!
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have never been in a real, serious relationship before.
I've rejected someone before.
I currently have a crush on someone. - I'm not telling...
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. - Sometimes...
I want to have children in the future.
I've had the cops called on me before.
I bite my nails. - Especially when I am nervous or bored.
I've been depressed before.
I collect comic books.
I shut others out when I'm sad. - Sometimes...
I open up to others easily. - Depends on the situation...
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I watch the news.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I like Disney movies.
I am a sucker for pretty eyes. - On guys especially...
I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
I love Martha Stewart.
I really like someone.
I am self conscious.
I like to laugh a lot.
I smoke a pack a day.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I have scars. - Mainly on my knees and elbows from when I was younger...
I've been out of this country.
I am really ticklish. - Only in specific places and only a few people know where...
I love chocolate.
I am comfortable with being me. - Sometimes...
I play computer games/video games when I'm bored. - Sometimes...
Gotten lost in a big city. - Seattle once and Vancouver once... and L.A. with my parents once... We ended up at this McD's in a really scary part of L.A. and it was bad...
Saw a shooting star. - At camp...
I had serious surgery. - Widom teeth not included...
Hugged a stranger. - If you know me, you shouldn't even have to ask...
Been in a fist fight with the same sex.
Been arrested.
Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose. - And juice, and water, an jell-o and ice cream... If it's liquid in some form, it probably came out of my nose at some point...
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
Made out in an elevator.
Swore at your parents. - Unfortunately...
Kicked a guy where it hurts. - In Junior High...
Been skydiving.
Been bungee jumping.
Broken a bone. - When I was 6, I broke my leg...
Played spin the bottle. - In Junior High...
Gotten the chicken pox. - When I was really little...
Ridden in a taxi. - In Calgary, Lethbridge, Edmonton, and Europe while I was there...
Shoplifted. - Unfortunately yes, I walked out once with a pack of gum in my hand inadvertantly... I went back and paid for it later...
Been fired. - Yup, see two below this one...
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. - Unfortunately...
Stole something from your job. - I sent a fax once and told my boss I would pay for it the next day and she said it was fine... The manager the next day siad it was theft and "let me go"... *rolling eyes*
Had a crush on a coach. - Wasn't my coach, was one of the coaches at my H.S. An assistant coach actually...
Saw someone/something dying. - My grandpa when I was really young (9, I think) and my cat when I was about 11...
Been on a plane. - I LOVE to fly!!!
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Thrown up in a bar.
Eaten Sushi.
Met someone in person from the internet. - In high school... we met in public and each brought a friend. Turns out he went to H.S. with some of my friends but it was a weird coincidence that we met online...
Been to a motorcross show.
Done hard drugs.
Taken painkillers. - For my knee and my back...
Saw Bucks Fizz in concert.
Consumed alcohol.
Run away from home. - I ran to my grandparent's house.
Lied to your parents about where you are. - My mom generally knew where I was, my dad was generally clueless...
Own an iPod. - It's a mini but it's good. :)
Are a sports fanatic.
Would wear pyjamas to school. - I have in University...
Had a job.
Been in love. - Or thought I was...
Eat fast food weekly.
Have self-inflicted scars. - Guides, hot glue gun... And bicycles at the end of grade 6...
Believe in ghosts.
Can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
Seen a therapist.
Love white chocolate. - I'm a dark chocolate kind of girl...
Single.
In a relationship.
Kissed a stranger. - We were "related" distantly and it was on the cheek (it was an "auntie").
Been obsessed with another person.
Argued for the fun of it. - Not fun for me, for for the other person apparently...
Made out in a moving vehicle.
Been to a casino. - Worked one for John's band in H.S. and my choir at M.R.C. as well as going with Kristyn one time...
Been in a bar.
Skipped school.
Been punched.
Been naked in public.
Come close to death.
Gotten stitches. - Wisdom teeth...
Bitten someone.
Crashed into a friend's car.
Been to Japan.
Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Slept with someone you shouldn’t have.
Been married.
I believe everything happens for a reason.
Had someone cheat on you.
Over dosed.
Have hated your life. - Sometimes!
Have no one who cares. - Feels like it sometimes...
Like Monty Python.
You are supposed to copy and paste the list and then bold anything that is true about you!
Some of them are pretty graphic, so read at your own risk.
Here I go!
I hate my name. - I used to anyway, now I don't mind it so much.
I miss somebody right now. - My friends and family who aren't here...
I watch less tv than I used to. - Only because I am never home when the good shows are on but I tape some of the ones I really like.
I love olives. - I prefer black to green...
I love sleeping. - I never get enough sleep though...
I own a lot of books. - probably the definition of "a lot" is less than half of my collection. :)
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games. - Some, depends, mainly ones like tetris, etc.
I believe honesty is the best policy.
I like and respect Al Sharpton. - Should I know who this is?
I curse a lot. - I try not to but sometimes I slip...
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I have a hobby.
I carry my knife/razor everywheres with me. - No, why would I?
I've never broken anyone else's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I love rain. - True on days when I have time to go walking in it, especially if it's a warm rain...
I'm REALLY paranoid. - About some things...
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. - Unfortunately... Yes...
I need money right now. - I don't know about "needing" it exactly but it would make my life a whole lot easier right about now...
I love sushi.
I talk really fast when I get excited/nervous. - Or all the time... I try to slow down though, I know it throws people off.
I have minty fresh breath in the morning.
I have semi-long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one brother and/or sister.
I was born outside of Canada.
I shave my legs.
I have a twin.
I am actually wasting time doing this thing.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. - I probably could but it would be tough...
I like the way I look most of the time. - Actually more and more lately... I have been caring less and less what others think and because of that, I tend to end up liking how I look when I do care...
I have friends.
I know how to do cornrows.
I am very pessimistic. - Sometimes, I try to be positive!
I have mood swings. - Sometimes, not something I can always control. :(
I think Britney Spears is hot.
I have cheated on a significant other.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I think that I'm popular.
I have dyed my hair.
I have kissed someone of the same sex. - 18th birthday party... nuf said.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. - At home...
I love to shop. - I would like this more if I had money. (I agree with Laurel.)
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm obsessed with my blog! - Only slightly...
I don't hate anyone.
I'm embarrassed to be seen with my mother. - Never!
I have a mobile phone. - YAY FOR CELL PHONES!
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have never been in a real, serious relationship before.
I've rejected someone before.
I currently have a crush on someone. - I'm not telling...
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. - Sometimes...
I want to have children in the future.
I've had the cops called on me before.
I bite my nails. - Especially when I am nervous or bored.
I've been depressed before.
I collect comic books.
I shut others out when I'm sad. - Sometimes...
I open up to others easily. - Depends on the situation...
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I watch the news.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I like Disney movies.
I am a sucker for pretty eyes. - On guys especially...
I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
I love Martha Stewart.
I really like someone.
I am self conscious.
I like to laugh a lot.
I smoke a pack a day.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I have scars. - Mainly on my knees and elbows from when I was younger...
I've been out of this country.
I am really ticklish. - Only in specific places and only a few people know where...
I love chocolate.
I am comfortable with being me. - Sometimes...
I play computer games/video games when I'm bored. - Sometimes...
Gotten lost in a big city. - Seattle once and Vancouver once... and L.A. with my parents once... We ended up at this McD's in a really scary part of L.A. and it was bad...
Saw a shooting star. - At camp...
I had serious surgery. - Widom teeth not included...
Hugged a stranger. - If you know me, you shouldn't even have to ask...
Been in a fist fight with the same sex.
Been arrested.
Laughed and had milk/soda come out of your nose. - And juice, and water, an jell-o and ice cream... If it's liquid in some form, it probably came out of my nose at some point...
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
Made out in an elevator.
Swore at your parents. - Unfortunately...
Kicked a guy where it hurts. - In Junior High...
Been skydiving.
Been bungee jumping.
Broken a bone. - When I was 6, I broke my leg...
Played spin the bottle. - In Junior High...
Gotten the chicken pox. - When I was really little...
Ridden in a taxi. - In Calgary, Lethbridge, Edmonton, and Europe while I was there...
Shoplifted. - Unfortunately yes, I walked out once with a pack of gum in my hand inadvertantly... I went back and paid for it later...
Been fired. - Yup, see two below this one...
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. - Unfortunately...
Stole something from your job. - I sent a fax once and told my boss I would pay for it the next day and she said it was fine... The manager the next day siad it was theft and "let me go"... *rolling eyes*
Had a crush on a coach. - Wasn't my coach, was one of the coaches at my H.S. An assistant coach actually...
Saw someone/something dying. - My grandpa when I was really young (9, I think) and my cat when I was about 11...
Been on a plane. - I LOVE to fly!!!
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Thrown up in a bar.
Eaten Sushi.
Met someone in person from the internet. - In high school... we met in public and each brought a friend. Turns out he went to H.S. with some of my friends but it was a weird coincidence that we met online...
Been to a motorcross show.
Done hard drugs.
Taken painkillers. - For my knee and my back...
Saw Bucks Fizz in concert.
Consumed alcohol.
Run away from home. - I ran to my grandparent's house.
Lied to your parents about where you are. - My mom generally knew where I was, my dad was generally clueless...
Own an iPod. - It's a mini but it's good. :)
Are a sports fanatic.
Would wear pyjamas to school. - I have in University...
Had a job.
Been in love. - Or thought I was...
Eat fast food weekly.
Have self-inflicted scars. - Guides, hot glue gun... And bicycles at the end of grade 6...
Believe in ghosts.
Can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
Seen a therapist.
Love white chocolate. - I'm a dark chocolate kind of girl...
Single.
In a relationship.
Kissed a stranger. - We were "related" distantly and it was on the cheek (it was an "auntie").
Been obsessed with another person.
Argued for the fun of it. - Not fun for me, for for the other person apparently...
Made out in a moving vehicle.
Been to a casino. - Worked one for John's band in H.S. and my choir at M.R.C. as well as going with Kristyn one time...
Been in a bar.
Skipped school.
Been punched.
Been naked in public.
Come close to death.
Gotten stitches. - Wisdom teeth...
Bitten someone.
Crashed into a friend's car.
Been to Japan.
Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Slept with someone you shouldn’t have.
Been married.
I believe everything happens for a reason.
Had someone cheat on you.
Over dosed.
Have hated your life. - Sometimes!
Have no one who cares. - Feels like it sometimes...
Like Monty Python.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Emotional High to Emotional Low in 4 days...
So I went home this weekend pretty pumped... Friday night I was supposed to hang out with Laurel after spending some time at the hospital visiting my grandpa (which was good when I first got there, it was just the two of us but later, it was my mom, dad, he and I and he was really out of it...) but after my physio appointment I needed to run some errands and those tired me out so Laurel and I took a raincheck... Ben called and we ended up going to BP's for "hot dessert" and then he came over and we watched "Under the Tuscan Sun." Nice thing about it was I didn't have to drive and there was no fear of drowning if I fell asleep (Laurel and I were going to go to the winter club to sit in the hot tub)... As Ben was leaving, John was just getting home from the Cave and Ben's car (actually his brothers car) wouldn't start. He ended up crashing on the living room floor and the next morning his brother came over and when I left, they were trying to figure out what to do...
Saturday was the Steering retreat out at King's Fold... It is SO beautiful out there! I told Laurel that we should get three or four girls together and do a girl's retreat weekend out there... We should try to get the room with two beds on the main floor and two in the loft... :) At the end of the day I was supposed to meet my mom and then go to Shaun's birthday party. Well, the doctor from the nursing home called to say that they think my grandma had either broken herhip or her pelvis when she fell last week and did my mom want to go to the ER to take her for x-rays. My mom said she'd rather not as they would end up sitting for hours on end, like she did when she took my grandfather in. So my grandma is scheduled for x-rays tomorrow morning. She is on bed rest and isn't moving at all so she is fine where she is (doctor's choice...) and they are taking her over by ambulance to wherever the x-rays are being done. Mom and I had a miscommunication that night that ended in us having a huge fight and I was exhausted and upset so I stayed home and had a nap and then when I woke up, I decided to go to bed early...
Sunday, I had a massage (I was SO tense) and then my mom and I had made plans but apparently so had she and John. They went to the Roughnecks game and then were almost an hour and half late getting back. Apparently, another miscommunication, again, my fault... So, eventually, I drove back to Lethbridge, I couldn't handle anymore arguing...
Today started out uneventfully enough... John has our grandparents car this week (he was threatening not to come back unless he had a vehicle... apparently I'm "mean" and I don't let him have the car as much as he would like. Not the point...
I called and booked the room at the CWC for my mom's 50th birthday party but I need to get in touch with her friends and such and make sure that if anything happens, family-wise, in the next few weeks that I can cancel if need be... I look forward to planning this though because right now, I need a purpose or I may go stir-crazy...
Tonight I had a Rover crew meeting... It was a gong show from the beginning and people got loud and upset and when it was all said and done, I have a headache and I feel like I'm going to be sick... It started out as a few of us having a few questions and snowballed from there... It was a rough meeting and it upset me more than I already was.
Ok, so most of my friends know that my grandparents are older and ill at this point in time. My grandpa is supposed to be moving to a hospice thsi week and they have given him little time left... My grandma has been resiliant so far but she's not doing well either and if anything happens to my grandpa, I don't know what she will do... Honestly, I don't know what I will do either. I feel frustrated because I am helpless... I feel like when I go home right now I am in the way but it's as though if I don't spend some time with them now, it might be too late... I don't think I will deal well if something were to happen... On top of everything else, I'm trying to stay in touch with my friends and keep my schoolwork balanced and while neither of those are major stressors, with the other stuff family-wise that is going on, it is not good...
I realized tonight, after the meeting when I was thinking about everything that is going on (I had to tell my advisors...) I just wanted to sit and cry and have someone give me a hug or talk to someone about how I am feeling... I don't have anyone I can do that with right now... The people I have depended on in the past couldn't give a damn at this point how I am... And my friends that do care, they have a lot going on with school and work and such respectively and I don't want to be a burden... I feel like that is why I lost the friends I did... Because the burden of being my friend was too much for them and I don't want anyone feeling that way again... I think the thought that hurt the most is that the person I have considered one of my bestfriends for years would hang up on me if I called him... Also, many of the people I was friends with in HS and such would figure I'm spazzing over nothing. I feel like my immediate family unit is falling apart at the seams and there is nothing I can do to help it or fix anything... I hate this feeling and this situation... I have been praying a lot but I don't know what else I can do... :'(
Saturday was the Steering retreat out at King's Fold... It is SO beautiful out there! I told Laurel that we should get three or four girls together and do a girl's retreat weekend out there... We should try to get the room with two beds on the main floor and two in the loft... :) At the end of the day I was supposed to meet my mom and then go to Shaun's birthday party. Well, the doctor from the nursing home called to say that they think my grandma had either broken herhip or her pelvis when she fell last week and did my mom want to go to the ER to take her for x-rays. My mom said she'd rather not as they would end up sitting for hours on end, like she did when she took my grandfather in. So my grandma is scheduled for x-rays tomorrow morning. She is on bed rest and isn't moving at all so she is fine where she is (doctor's choice...) and they are taking her over by ambulance to wherever the x-rays are being done. Mom and I had a miscommunication that night that ended in us having a huge fight and I was exhausted and upset so I stayed home and had a nap and then when I woke up, I decided to go to bed early...
Sunday, I had a massage (I was SO tense) and then my mom and I had made plans but apparently so had she and John. They went to the Roughnecks game and then were almost an hour and half late getting back. Apparently, another miscommunication, again, my fault... So, eventually, I drove back to Lethbridge, I couldn't handle anymore arguing...
Today started out uneventfully enough... John has our grandparents car this week (he was threatening not to come back unless he had a vehicle... apparently I'm "mean" and I don't let him have the car as much as he would like. Not the point...
I called and booked the room at the CWC for my mom's 50th birthday party but I need to get in touch with her friends and such and make sure that if anything happens, family-wise, in the next few weeks that I can cancel if need be... I look forward to planning this though because right now, I need a purpose or I may go stir-crazy...
Tonight I had a Rover crew meeting... It was a gong show from the beginning and people got loud and upset and when it was all said and done, I have a headache and I feel like I'm going to be sick... It started out as a few of us having a few questions and snowballed from there... It was a rough meeting and it upset me more than I already was.
Ok, so most of my friends know that my grandparents are older and ill at this point in time. My grandpa is supposed to be moving to a hospice thsi week and they have given him little time left... My grandma has been resiliant so far but she's not doing well either and if anything happens to my grandpa, I don't know what she will do... Honestly, I don't know what I will do either. I feel frustrated because I am helpless... I feel like when I go home right now I am in the way but it's as though if I don't spend some time with them now, it might be too late... I don't think I will deal well if something were to happen... On top of everything else, I'm trying to stay in touch with my friends and keep my schoolwork balanced and while neither of those are major stressors, with the other stuff family-wise that is going on, it is not good...
I realized tonight, after the meeting when I was thinking about everything that is going on (I had to tell my advisors...) I just wanted to sit and cry and have someone give me a hug or talk to someone about how I am feeling... I don't have anyone I can do that with right now... The people I have depended on in the past couldn't give a damn at this point how I am... And my friends that do care, they have a lot going on with school and work and such respectively and I don't want to be a burden... I feel like that is why I lost the friends I did... Because the burden of being my friend was too much for them and I don't want anyone feeling that way again... I think the thought that hurt the most is that the person I have considered one of my bestfriends for years would hang up on me if I called him... Also, many of the people I was friends with in HS and such would figure I'm spazzing over nothing. I feel like my immediate family unit is falling apart at the seams and there is nothing I can do to help it or fix anything... I hate this feeling and this situation... I have been praying a lot but I don't know what else I can do... :'(
Friday, February 03, 2006
Random pictures and thoughts, expressing how I'm feeling...
I am in a pretty good mood today... Yesterday I fell and screwed my knee up worse than it already was... But I am going to go see my physiotherapist when I get back to Calgary and he will do stuff (like prick me with needles) that will make it feel better. I look forward to it... I have a Steering retreat tomorrow and I worry that we will be playing some active "get to know you" games but if we do, I may have to sit them out. I'm pretty sure most people know me anyway. :P It's Shaun's birthday today! Shout out to him! "Happy 24th Birthday Shaun!!!" I will be seeing him tomorrow night and he will get Christmas, Birthday and Valentine's all in one stop because I don't know if I will see him before Valentine's Day and I still have his Christmas present in my car. Now, I am going to go drive-thru Starbucks (best invention ever! And it's NEW, right by my house!!!!) and get a "Blended Strawberry Lemonade with two pumps of Raspberry Syrup" (SO GOOD!!!!) and then hit the highway. :) I will write more or again later this weekend!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Dwelling on the past...
So today I have done a lot of soul searching... When I do that, I always feel as though I come up lacking somehow... Like, I'm not a good enough person, or I haven't accomplished what I should have, or I have been a bad friend, or whatever... I have decided that once a week, I will spend a few hours by myself, doing what I want. Now, because I know some of you are sickos, I think I should mention that the last two weeks I have gone for dinner and a movie. Yes, by myself. It gave me time to do homework, or read a book while I ate and then I got to see a movie I have been wanting to see. Last week, it was "Glory Road"... I laughed, I cried, I laughed while I cried. This week, it was "Big Mama's House 2." Martin Lawrence is freaking hilarious in this movie! I think it was almost better than the original and I really enjoyed the original... :) Anyway, I digress. Spending time hanging out in my room is all good and such but... *shrug* at least if I am out in public, I can soak up the atmosphere. As many people know, I like to people watch and it's always interesting in restaurants and theatres.
So, in the past week.... My grandfather has been listed on his medical charts as "critically ill" and he is barely functioning. I found out earlier today that the nursing home attendants found my grandma wrapped in a blanket lying on the floor... They had no idea how she got there, how long she had been there or what had happened... *sigh* John has decided he hates life. So he went back to Calgary today and will be back "on Monday... maybe." I went with my mom to this Reggio Emilia opening at the new Jubilee... It was a showing and reception with snacks and drinks... You apparently had to be someone big in Education, at the CBE or University to be invited (mainly) and it was interesting meeting the women from Italy. I saw my grade 2 teacher there, as well as some other people I know through my mom. After I went out for dinner with my mom and her friend Ann. (I am supposed to be planning a 50th birthday party for my mom... I should start making a guest list...) I was at THING on Saturday and even though I wasn't in a very social mood, I went to Moxie's after and it was nice to see my friends. Considering what little social life I have, it's good to get out occasionally. I have been up until at least 4 most nights this week, doing homework and generally thinking too much. I have had a nap a couple of afternoons to counteract it... It's stupid...I also had an argument with a good friend over something that shouldn't have been an issue but we resolved things and he called me this week. It was nice to hear from him... :)
I have to say, I am REALLY worried about my grandpa. :(
I had a long talk tonight over MSN with a good friend. Actually, one of the best friends I have ever had and one of the best people I know... She was waiting for her daughter to fall asleep and then it ended up that she stayed up to talk to me... I thought that was really nice of her... We don't get to see each other or talk as often as I'd like but I know I can always count on her. I just have to mention... She sent me an e-mail (I was going to bed but I went and took my contacts out and brushed my teeth and the computer beeped so I came back to read it... Slightly easily distracted...) and it is a way of keeping in touch with her. I think, out of all of my friends, she is one of the people I miss the most when we don't talk because she helps keep me grounded and she loves me for who I am, not someone she wants me to be... It's nice having a person like her in my life and I don't tell her nearly often enough how much I appreciate her... I hope she knows. We talked a lot about where we are in our lives and where we had pictures ourselves to be at the end of HS. And... our 5 and 10 year plans... It's weird/interesting to think about how much is different now and how much we have each changed.
Now, I am going to bed... I am searching for peace of mind and spirit so I can sleep... I am reaching for my steamed milk and a tylenol for the headache I can feel coming on...
So, in the past week.... My grandfather has been listed on his medical charts as "critically ill" and he is barely functioning. I found out earlier today that the nursing home attendants found my grandma wrapped in a blanket lying on the floor... They had no idea how she got there, how long she had been there or what had happened... *sigh* John has decided he hates life. So he went back to Calgary today and will be back "on Monday... maybe." I went with my mom to this Reggio Emilia opening at the new Jubilee... It was a showing and reception with snacks and drinks... You apparently had to be someone big in Education, at the CBE or University to be invited (mainly) and it was interesting meeting the women from Italy. I saw my grade 2 teacher there, as well as some other people I know through my mom. After I went out for dinner with my mom and her friend Ann. (I am supposed to be planning a 50th birthday party for my mom... I should start making a guest list...) I was at THING on Saturday and even though I wasn't in a very social mood, I went to Moxie's after and it was nice to see my friends. Considering what little social life I have, it's good to get out occasionally. I have been up until at least 4 most nights this week, doing homework and generally thinking too much. I have had a nap a couple of afternoons to counteract it... It's stupid...I also had an argument with a good friend over something that shouldn't have been an issue but we resolved things and he called me this week. It was nice to hear from him... :)
I have to say, I am REALLY worried about my grandpa. :(
I had a long talk tonight over MSN with a good friend. Actually, one of the best friends I have ever had and one of the best people I know... She was waiting for her daughter to fall asleep and then it ended up that she stayed up to talk to me... I thought that was really nice of her... We don't get to see each other or talk as often as I'd like but I know I can always count on her. I just have to mention... She sent me an e-mail (I was going to bed but I went and took my contacts out and brushed my teeth and the computer beeped so I came back to read it... Slightly easily distracted...) and it is a way of keeping in touch with her. I think, out of all of my friends, she is one of the people I miss the most when we don't talk because she helps keep me grounded and she loves me for who I am, not someone she wants me to be... It's nice having a person like her in my life and I don't tell her nearly often enough how much I appreciate her... I hope she knows. We talked a lot about where we are in our lives and where we had pictures ourselves to be at the end of HS. And... our 5 and 10 year plans... It's weird/interesting to think about how much is different now and how much we have each changed.
Now, I am going to bed... I am searching for peace of mind and spirit so I can sleep... I am reaching for my steamed milk and a tylenol for the headache I can feel coming on...
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Long and tiring day...
Short version of today: Went to school, sat through class and was tested on a two-handed rhythm, came home, went back to school, sat through a class in which we bribed the prof with Jelly Belly's and then got "brownie points" for knowing that "O Canada" has a second verse and being able to recite it, went to World Rhythm and learned three new dance steps, some new rhythms and then orchestra where the guy one down from me spent the hour he was actually there staring off into space and not playing or participating (when there are normally at least 4 of us and there were only 3 today, one of 3 sitting staring at the ceiling doesn't help!) and then I took my car for a tune-up.
Now, I am sitting here contemplating why I am writing on here at all. I know of... one... person who actually reads what I write and even then, I know it's not stimulating but seriously... *rolling eyes*
I have been avoiding some of my "friends" this week. Friendships are two-sided and while I like being there for them when they need me, it's annoying to have them ignore me unless they are having some kind of "crisis." I'm at the point of, "if you're only going to call me/talk to me to complain, get a therapist or start paying me by the hour." Not that I would ever say that but some days it's tempting... *sigh*
I'll tell you what really gets me... people who don't talk to you online or call you all week and then Thursday night act all buddy-buddy, like they want to spend time with you over the weekend... Ok, I like spending time with my friends if it's mutually convenient. But spending time with them because they feel bad for not talking to me all week or whatever is not happening. If they have their own lives and friends during the week and they are making me feel like a charity case in need of a friend, that's not fair to me. If I'm going to put effort into a friendship, I would expect the same from anyone else.
New Topics. (I do that a lot...) Last night, I went online and filled out my TEC application. I hit "Send to Core" and got an error message. So I e-mail the fabulous webmaster and he says he didn't receive it. So today, I filled it out again and re-sent it. I got the confirmation e-mail so it seems to have gone through.
I have also filled out my application for Camp. My problem is that last summer I was MAJORLY honest on it and I felt like it later came back to bite me in the bum. Not cool.... So I am praying a lot about whether to send it in or not and which position I feel called to do this summer. I love being in cabin but... I am feeling kind of rejected considering I haven't even been asked to work any of the winter camps...
Now, as Laurel normally writes at the end of her blogs: Today I am reaching for patience and the knowledge that where I am feeling called is where God is truly calling me.
Now, I am sitting here contemplating why I am writing on here at all. I know of... one... person who actually reads what I write and even then, I know it's not stimulating but seriously... *rolling eyes*
I have been avoiding some of my "friends" this week. Friendships are two-sided and while I like being there for them when they need me, it's annoying to have them ignore me unless they are having some kind of "crisis." I'm at the point of, "if you're only going to call me/talk to me to complain, get a therapist or start paying me by the hour." Not that I would ever say that but some days it's tempting... *sigh*
I'll tell you what really gets me... people who don't talk to you online or call you all week and then Thursday night act all buddy-buddy, like they want to spend time with you over the weekend... Ok, I like spending time with my friends if it's mutually convenient. But spending time with them because they feel bad for not talking to me all week or whatever is not happening. If they have their own lives and friends during the week and they are making me feel like a charity case in need of a friend, that's not fair to me. If I'm going to put effort into a friendship, I would expect the same from anyone else.
New Topics. (I do that a lot...) Last night, I went online and filled out my TEC application. I hit "Send to Core" and got an error message. So I e-mail the fabulous webmaster and he says he didn't receive it. So today, I filled it out again and re-sent it. I got the confirmation e-mail so it seems to have gone through.
I have also filled out my application for Camp. My problem is that last summer I was MAJORLY honest on it and I felt like it later came back to bite me in the bum. Not cool.... So I am praying a lot about whether to send it in or not and which position I feel called to do this summer. I love being in cabin but... I am feeling kind of rejected considering I haven't even been asked to work any of the winter camps...
Now, as Laurel normally writes at the end of her blogs: Today I am reaching for patience and the knowledge that where I am feeling called is where God is truly calling me.
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