*lol* I could be writing a newspaper with a title like that one!
So, I have fought health problems and money problems. I haven't worked basically since the end of December with the exception of a few hours over reading week before I relapsed health-wise and then ended up being majorly sick again. I have been having some guy "issues" (needless to say, I think many people with a Y chromosome need to pull their heads out of their butts) and I have figured out that while I love many of my friends, some of them I can only handle for small periods of time. Lately some of them have been getting on my nerves more than usual and while I occasionally chalk it up to it being my time or their time of the month, when it is a guy, I'm not sure what to blame it on.
I have been spending a TON of time with Amber lately. So much, in fact that her mom has commented that she seems to be running away from home (or something similar). In reality, I'm out of town from Sunday night to Friday afternoon and we hang out when we can all weekend. Some weekends she crashes at my house overnight, other weekends we hang out until really late and then I make sure she has a way to get home (either I drive her or someone else does). It's the same way I hang out with Em many times. Lately, we have been spending a TON of time at my house as a group. The group has changed a bit lately. It has expanded to include a couple of John's friends, Kurtis and Nathan. Also, Matt hasn't been hanging out with us as much and Jordan has brought Jeremy a couple of times. Em brought Minetta a couple of times as well. :)
It's interesting and weird hanging out with a group of people that is quite a bit younger than me. I have friends who are my age and older but what it comes down to is that many of them are couples or are married and many of them are planning weddings, having children, already have families established or are into things that don't have anything to do with school or youth group-type activities. I love hanging out with all of my friends, no matter who they are or how old they are. I don't believe in judging someone based on age. That being said, I'm not saying that applies to all aspects of my life. Anyone who knows me knows that I have an age limit (older and younger) when it comes to dating but I don't think it has to apply to friendships necessarily. A few of my closest friends are younger than me and for now, that is fine with me.
On that topic but as a slight aside, I do miss some of the people I used to be friends with. But if they "haven't changed" or "can't see" how I've changed then I don't need the bs of dealing with them. Apparently our friendships were "all about" me, which wasn't my intention but if that is how they see it, that is their perception and not something I can change. To be honest, nor is it something I am going to go out of my way to try and change. I made that decision months ago. It's funny (in a sad, not a "haha" kind of way) but I've heard that a few people I used to be really close to have recently gotten into other relationships, had kids, changed their phone numbers or moved and I am happy that some of their personal goals have been achieved. It does suck that they felt that they had to cut me out of their lives but that's fine. I'm actually more content with who I am now then I have been in a long time.
Self-confidence and self-esteem... Gosh... These are two things that I have always struggled with. I have to admit, I'm not the prettiest, smartest, skinniest or anything ending in "est" out of any of my friends. Hell, I'm not even the loudest! *lol* I was hanging out with some of my friends this weekend after THING and we went to Peter's and then went back to my house and played "Boxers or Briefs?" I don't remember the last time I have laughed so hard. I am the person who makes jokes about myself before anyone else can. But this group of people (Tammy, John S., Matt, Jordan, Em, Kurtis, Amber, Adam and I) were having so much fun and were so comfortable together that I didn't have to worry about it.
Anyway, there is so much more I could say but I am tired and fighting the end of a migraine so I'm going to bed... Night! :)
