So today I have done a lot of soul searching... When I do that, I always feel as though I come up lacking somehow... Like, I'm not a good enough person, or I haven't accomplished what I should have, or I have been a bad friend, or whatever... I have decided that once a week, I will spend a few hours by myself, doing what I want. Now, because I know some of you are sickos, I think I should mention that the last two weeks I have gone for dinner and a movie. Yes, by myself. It gave me time to do homework, or read a book while I ate and then I got to see a movie I have been wanting to see. Last week, it was "Glory Road"... I laughed, I cried, I laughed while I cried. This week, it was "Big Mama's House 2." Martin Lawrence is freaking hilarious in this movie! I think it was almost better than the original and I really enjoyed the original... :) Anyway, I digress. Spending time hanging out in my room is all good and such but... *shrug* at least if I am out in public, I can soak up the atmosphere. As many people know, I like to people watch and it's always interesting in restaurants and theatres.
So, in the past week.... My grandfather has been listed on his medical charts as "critically ill" and he is barely functioning. I found out earlier today that the nursing home attendants found my grandma wrapped in a blanket lying on the floor... They had no idea how she got there, how long she had been there or what had happened... *sigh* John has decided he hates life. So he went back to Calgary today and will be back "on Monday... maybe." I went with my mom to this Reggio Emilia opening at the new Jubilee... It was a showing and reception with snacks and drinks... You apparently had to be someone big in Education, at the CBE or University to be invited (mainly) and it was interesting meeting the women from Italy. I saw my grade 2 teacher there, as well as some other people I know through my mom. After I went out for dinner with my mom and her friend Ann. (I am supposed to be planning a 50th birthday party for my mom... I should start making a guest list...) I was at THING on Saturday and even though I wasn't in a very social mood, I went to Moxie's after and it was nice to see my friends. Considering what little social life I have, it's good to get out occasionally. I have been up until at least 4 most nights this week, doing homework and generally thinking too much. I have had a nap a couple of afternoons to counteract it... It's stupid...I also had an argument with a good friend over something that shouldn't have been an issue but we resolved things and he called me this week. It was nice to hear from him... :)
I have to say, I am REALLY worried about my grandpa. :(
I had a long talk tonight over MSN with a good friend. Actually, one of the best friends I have ever had and one of the best people I know... She was waiting for her daughter to fall asleep and then it ended up that she stayed up to talk to me... I thought that was really nice of her... We don't get to see each other or talk as often as I'd like but I know I can always count on her. I just have to mention... She sent me an e-mail (I was going to bed but I went and took my contacts out and brushed my teeth and the computer beeped so I came back to read it... Slightly easily distracted...) and it is a way of keeping in touch with her. I think, out of all of my friends, she is one of the people I miss the most when we don't talk because she helps keep me grounded and she loves me for who I am, not someone she wants me to be... It's nice having a person like her in my life and I don't tell her nearly often enough how much I appreciate her... I hope she knows. We talked a lot about where we are in our lives and where we had pictures ourselves to be at the end of HS. And... our 5 and 10 year plans... It's weird/interesting to think about how much is different now and how much we have each changed.
Now, I am going to bed... I am searching for peace of mind and spirit so I can sleep... I am reaching for my steamed milk and a tylenol for the headache I can feel coming on...
