So, my mom was saying that for anyone who isn't going "home" or who doesn't have anywhere to do the Christmas thing, they would be more than welcome to join us. We aren't doing anything odd or whatever but I know the current plan is to go see a movie tomorrow sometime and going to the candlelight service at church in the evening. On Christmas Day I make brunch, my mom makes dinner and if anyone wants to join us at any point during the day, even just to drop in for company, let me know! We love having people around and my mom and I agree that having somewhere to be on Christmas is a good thing! :)
Our family is kind of spread thin nowadays and we love having people to feed/take care of! ;)
Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone! I hope the next couple of days are a blessing in your lives and that you feel the peace of the season! :)
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
All I want for Christmas...???
The only reason I am writing this is that I have had a bunch of people ask what I want for Christmas.
The answer is pretty easy... I don't have a "wish list" because I have a very hard time making one. Therefore, gift card/certificates for anywhere that sells CD's and such is good. I love places like Lush and The Body Shop and anything from the Cadillac-Fairview Mall's is fine (that's Chinook and Market specifically), or from Chapters/Indigo or Starbucks.
Otherwise, I collect crystal animals (so money towards one is fine as they tend to be expensive) or the Willow Tree Angels, I know I have the Angel of Happiness, Angel of Summer, Angel of Hugs and one more that I can't think of the name of right now.
I love vanilla, cocoa butter and coconut as scents. I don't like anything that smells too strong, specifically not flower scents or anything too musky. I'm ok with fruit smells and I prefer things like strawberry, peach and grapefruit to anything else.
And, for anyone who isn't aware, my favourite colour is pink. I also love black... And anything that sparkles is cool.
I do have lists of stuff that I would like to buy but cannot afford or justify buying for myself... One is on Amazon.ca (books, CD's, DVD's) and one on Amazon.com (there are 2, one is music stuff, the other is DVD's) and on Chapters.Indigo.ca (books, etc.) and another that I'm not going to list, I made many of them for birthday stuff so I updated them so they aren't things I have already received...
I hope this helps whoever needs it...
Merry Christmas all! :)
The answer is pretty easy... I don't have a "wish list" because I have a very hard time making one. Therefore, gift card/certificates for anywhere that sells CD's and such is good. I love places like Lush and The Body Shop and anything from the Cadillac-Fairview Mall's is fine (that's Chinook and Market specifically), or from Chapters/Indigo or Starbucks.
Otherwise, I collect crystal animals (so money towards one is fine as they tend to be expensive) or the Willow Tree Angels, I know I have the Angel of Happiness, Angel of Summer, Angel of Hugs and one more that I can't think of the name of right now.
I love vanilla, cocoa butter and coconut as scents. I don't like anything that smells too strong, specifically not flower scents or anything too musky. I'm ok with fruit smells and I prefer things like strawberry, peach and grapefruit to anything else.
And, for anyone who isn't aware, my favourite colour is pink. I also love black... And anything that sparkles is cool.
I do have lists of stuff that I would like to buy but cannot afford or justify buying for myself... One is on Amazon.ca (books, CD's, DVD's) and one on Amazon.com (there are 2, one is music stuff, the other is DVD's) and on Chapters.Indigo.ca (books, etc.) and another that I'm not going to list, I made many of them for birthday stuff so I updated them so they aren't things I have already received...
I hope this helps whoever needs it...
Merry Christmas all! :)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Random Lyrics (Posted originally on other blog...)
So, I have spent a lot of time with my friends recently discussing life around us and what's going on in the world. Some of what is happening is upsetting and other things are really... random. Not funny per se but oddly amusing. I'd like to start with the sad things...
So, in the past few weeks there have been many random shootings throughout the U.S. I don't know anyone who has been directly influenced by these but I do have friends who have been indirectly effected. The shooting in the mall in Omaha reminded a lot of people of things like what happened at Columbine High and in Taber. Most directly, the shootings in the Colorado YWAM base and the church in the same city affected many of my friends who live on a YWAM base or are serving with YWAM throughout the world. To think that innocent people died for no purpose is sad... As is the case in situations such as these. I heard this song on the radio last week sometime, and while I had heard it before, I didn't think much of it until last week. The lyrics hit me pretty hard...
"Nobody Died" by The Wilkinsons
Back when I went to school
Kids smoked and swore and broke some rules
But I mean, didn't everybody, almost everybody
Fake I.D. bought a quart of beer
Had the devil's rock n' roll ringin' in our ears
And people said, "these kids have got a problem here"
I'm not saying that they weren't right
I've cried and tried to understand
What I'm seeing on the news tonight
I'll admit we were young and foolish
Totally irresponsible
But nobody died
We all made it home
Well, we'd fuss and fight and make mistakes
But life went on
There were broken hearts and dreams
And wounded pride
But nobody died
Kids got bullied, picked on and teased
But somehow we found our place in the scheme of things
And time heals everything, almost everything
When I look back on the things I've done
Some good, some bad, and I'm really sorry if I hurt anyone
Yeah, I'm really sorry if I hurt anyone
How we'd get from there to here
From Shakespeare and Math and Science
To shots ringin' in our ears
And what's it gonna take to get us back
Get us back to where
Nobody died
We all made it home
Well, we'd fuss and fight and make mistakes
But life went on
There were broken hearts and dreams
And wounded pride
But nobody died
Nobody died
Nobody died
It reminds me of a few things... When I was in H.S. there was a "Machete incident" across the street from the school which ended up on school property. Therefore, the school was involved. Throughout my years there, that was the most "major" thing that happened. A year or so after I left, someone got shot in one of the stairwells. It makes me wonder what changed in the years between... A video I love and a song which has meaning, much like the previous is this one...
"If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback
From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
And I'm singing
Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
(I'm alive)
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died
This next one will seem really random by comparison to the others. But it is one of my favourite Christmas songs and it makes me think a lot about world events and people who have needs that we, as a Western society don't always acknowledge. It's not about any minority in the sense that most people would expect, more about someone given a chance to think about one of the true meanings of Christmas and why people give gifts and the meaning of sharing with others...
"The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong
It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes
His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes
So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about.
I will admit, I'm a gift-giver... I don't receive well. I think it is mainly because I have some issues with self-confidence and self-esteem and I don't necessarily think that I am "worth" getting a present for. I buy gifts for friends; for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and just randomly throughout the year. When I receive something from someone, I am thankful, I'm not saying I'm not but whether it's for an occasion or not, I tend to think "why me?" and while that seems kind of stupid right now, it's something have felt for years. I love the above song for that reason.
I have some friends who are going through interesting situations in relationships and the next song is one that I love for the upbeat sound with an excellent message. It's a well-written way of telling someone that things are frustrating you and you are moving on...
"Potential Break-Up Song" by Aly & AJ
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
It took too long
It took too long
It took too long for you to call back
And normally I would just forget that
Except for the fact it was my Birthday
My stupid Birthday
I played along
I played along
I played along
Rolled right off my back
But obviously my armour was cracked
What kind of a boyfriend would forget that?
Who would forget that?
The type of guy who doesn't see,
What he has until she leaves
Don't let me go!
Cause without me you know you're lost,
Wise up now or pay the cost
Soon you will know, oh!
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' with me
You're not winning
'Til you're winning, winnin' me
You're not getting
'Til you're getting, gettin' to me
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' for me
This is the Potential Breakup Song
Our Album needs just one
Oh baby please
Please tell me
We got along
We got along
We got along until you did that
Now all I want is just my stuff back
Do you get that?
Let me repeat that
I want my stuff back
You can send it in a box
I don't care
Just drop it off
I won't be home!
Cause without me you know you're lost
Minus you I'm better off
Soon you will know, oh!
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' with me
You're not winning
'Til you're winning, winnin nin nin nin nin
You're not getting
'Til you're getting, gettin' to me
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' for me
You can try
You can try
You know I know it'd be a lie
Without me you're gonna cry
So you better think clearly, clearly
Before you nearly, nearly mess up the situation
That you're gonna miss dearly, dearly
Come on!
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' with me
You're not winning
'Til you're winning, winnin nin nin nin nin
You're not getting
'Til you're getting, gettin' to me
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' for me
This is the potential breakup song
Our album needs just one
Oh baby please
Please, tell me
This is the potential make up song
Please just admit you're wrong
Which will it be
Which will it be
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
Ok, so last... I have been a music major for the past few years and I have gone through and watched my friends go through a lot of ups and downs. Random: One movie I found I identified with was "Raise Your Voice" and yes, the movie is kind of lame. But that is EXACTLY how I felt when I first came to the U of L. As though I wasn't good enough to be there and that I didn't fit in anywhere. But over time, I realized that things could only get better. A song that I love because it gives people a chance to think about what they would do with their future is this one... (It makes me want to sing along but mainly for reasons of the stereotypical aspect of what people "think" the life of a rock star is like... I will admit, I'm not as focused on the material aspects as some people may be, it's more the situations and "glamour" that is anticipated...)
"Rockstar" by Nickelback
I'm through with standin' in line
To clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be
(Tell me what you want)
I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me
(Yeah, so tell what you need)
I'll need a.. a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet
--(Been there done that)--
I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And well...
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla, ha ha)
I think I'm gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars and
Live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of
Today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
From a Pez dispenser
Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip synch 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong
Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
Today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
(I will admit, some of the videos aren't the best quality but they give you an idea of what the actual video is like...)
So, in the past few weeks there have been many random shootings throughout the U.S. I don't know anyone who has been directly influenced by these but I do have friends who have been indirectly effected. The shooting in the mall in Omaha reminded a lot of people of things like what happened at Columbine High and in Taber. Most directly, the shootings in the Colorado YWAM base and the church in the same city affected many of my friends who live on a YWAM base or are serving with YWAM throughout the world. To think that innocent people died for no purpose is sad... As is the case in situations such as these. I heard this song on the radio last week sometime, and while I had heard it before, I didn't think much of it until last week. The lyrics hit me pretty hard...
"Nobody Died" by The Wilkinsons
Back when I went to school
Kids smoked and swore and broke some rules
But I mean, didn't everybody, almost everybody
Fake I.D. bought a quart of beer
Had the devil's rock n' roll ringin' in our ears
And people said, "these kids have got a problem here"
I'm not saying that they weren't right
I've cried and tried to understand
What I'm seeing on the news tonight
I'll admit we were young and foolish
Totally irresponsible
But nobody died
We all made it home
Well, we'd fuss and fight and make mistakes
But life went on
There were broken hearts and dreams
And wounded pride
But nobody died
Kids got bullied, picked on and teased
But somehow we found our place in the scheme of things
And time heals everything, almost everything
When I look back on the things I've done
Some good, some bad, and I'm really sorry if I hurt anyone
Yeah, I'm really sorry if I hurt anyone
How we'd get from there to here
From Shakespeare and Math and Science
To shots ringin' in our ears
And what's it gonna take to get us back
Get us back to where
Nobody died
We all made it home
Well, we'd fuss and fight and make mistakes
But life went on
There were broken hearts and dreams
And wounded pride
But nobody died
Nobody died
Nobody died
It reminds me of a few things... When I was in H.S. there was a "Machete incident" across the street from the school which ended up on school property. Therefore, the school was involved. Throughout my years there, that was the most "major" thing that happened. A year or so after I left, someone got shot in one of the stairwells. It makes me wonder what changed in the years between... A video I love and a song which has meaning, much like the previous is this one...
"If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback
From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
And I'm singing
Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
(I'm alive)
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died
This next one will seem really random by comparison to the others. But it is one of my favourite Christmas songs and it makes me think a lot about world events and people who have needs that we, as a Western society don't always acknowledge. It's not about any minority in the sense that most people would expect, more about someone given a chance to think about one of the true meanings of Christmas and why people give gifts and the meaning of sharing with others...
"The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong
It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes
His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes
So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about.
I will admit, I'm a gift-giver... I don't receive well. I think it is mainly because I have some issues with self-confidence and self-esteem and I don't necessarily think that I am "worth" getting a present for. I buy gifts for friends; for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and just randomly throughout the year. When I receive something from someone, I am thankful, I'm not saying I'm not but whether it's for an occasion or not, I tend to think "why me?" and while that seems kind of stupid right now, it's something have felt for years. I love the above song for that reason.
I have some friends who are going through interesting situations in relationships and the next song is one that I love for the upbeat sound with an excellent message. It's a well-written way of telling someone that things are frustrating you and you are moving on...
"Potential Break-Up Song" by Aly & AJ
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
It took too long
It took too long
It took too long for you to call back
And normally I would just forget that
Except for the fact it was my Birthday
My stupid Birthday
I played along
I played along
I played along
Rolled right off my back
But obviously my armour was cracked
What kind of a boyfriend would forget that?
Who would forget that?
The type of guy who doesn't see,
What he has until she leaves
Don't let me go!
Cause without me you know you're lost,
Wise up now or pay the cost
Soon you will know, oh!
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' with me
You're not winning
'Til you're winning, winnin' me
You're not getting
'Til you're getting, gettin' to me
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' for me
This is the Potential Breakup Song
Our Album needs just one
Oh baby please
Please tell me
We got along
We got along
We got along until you did that
Now all I want is just my stuff back
Do you get that?
Let me repeat that
I want my stuff back
You can send it in a box
I don't care
Just drop it off
I won't be home!
Cause without me you know you're lost
Minus you I'm better off
Soon you will know, oh!
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' with me
You're not winning
'Til you're winning, winnin nin nin nin nin
You're not getting
'Til you're getting, gettin' to me
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' for me
You can try
You can try
You know I know it'd be a lie
Without me you're gonna cry
So you better think clearly, clearly
Before you nearly, nearly mess up the situation
That you're gonna miss dearly, dearly
Come on!
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' with me
You're not winning
'Til you're winning, winnin nin nin nin nin
You're not getting
'Til you're getting, gettin' to me
You're not living
'Til you're living, livin' for me
This is the potential breakup song
Our album needs just one
Oh baby please
Please, tell me
This is the potential make up song
Please just admit you're wrong
Which will it be
Which will it be
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
Ok, so last... I have been a music major for the past few years and I have gone through and watched my friends go through a lot of ups and downs. Random: One movie I found I identified with was "Raise Your Voice" and yes, the movie is kind of lame. But that is EXACTLY how I felt when I first came to the U of L. As though I wasn't good enough to be there and that I didn't fit in anywhere. But over time, I realized that things could only get better. A song that I love because it gives people a chance to think about what they would do with their future is this one... (It makes me want to sing along but mainly for reasons of the stereotypical aspect of what people "think" the life of a rock star is like... I will admit, I'm not as focused on the material aspects as some people may be, it's more the situations and "glamour" that is anticipated...)
"Rockstar" by Nickelback
I'm through with standin' in line
To clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be
(Tell me what you want)
I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me
(Yeah, so tell what you need)
I'll need a.. a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet
--(Been there done that)--
I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And well...
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla, ha ha)
I think I'm gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars and
Live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blonde hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of
Today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
From a Pez dispenser
Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip synch 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong
Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
Today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
(I will admit, some of the videos aren't the best quality but they give you an idea of what the actual video is like...)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Judgement...
I'm finding it amusing... I don't judge others based on their life choices, what they say/do, how they act towards me or others, what people post pictures or notes of and many other things that I could sit back, look at them or whatever they were doing and think, "WHAT are they thinking???" But I don't. It's frustrating to realize that while I am not a judgemental person (unless pushed) that others around me seem to be constantly judging me.
I was at a birthday party a couple of weeks ago with a friend. As we drove away afterwards, I commented to her, "I'm probably being talked about." I said it very matter-of-factly... I knew that some of the people that were there weren't going to have anything nice to say about me. Honestly, in the past it would have bothered me but I have come to realize that those people who choose to talk about me behind my back are those who aren't worth my time or energy. It bothers me to think that some of the people I consider "friends" do that to me and I don't do or say anything to stop them. But, because of the way I have been raised, I am more likely to be a doormat than to stand up for myself. Or, that's how it USED to be.
So, sometimes I feel as though I am invisible. I have to admit, I prefer it. When it’s a “you’re part of this group and you fit in so we know you’re here even if it doesn’t seem like it” it’s fine. When it’s “you’re not important enough to acknowledge” that it bothers me. When I was growing up, I was “one of the guys” and I liked that role because it didn’t matter what I wore, who was around, or whatever, because in the long run, I was one of the group and that’s what mattered. I miss times like that sometimes… I have an awesome group of friends for the most part. I have some friends that tend to only talk to me or hang out with me when it is beneficial to them. They treat me as though I am ok to spend time with when others are busy, they need a ride, or something done then they call me.
I'm done. I hate being judged and OF COURSE I care what my friends think. But, instead of people talking to me, they slander me in a public forum and expect I'll never hear about it. As for the doormat aspect of my personality, I'm done with it. If you don't like something I have said or done over time, I would rather know about it. But for the time being, I'm going to stand up for myself and screw anyone who doesn't like it.
Oh, and for those of you who felt it was okay to slander me in some way, know that I won't soon forget but I won't do anything to retaliate because it's not who I am. As for other comments made on things such as Facebook and Nexopia, I LOVE that I post many of the same things as my friends do (because I answered a few and then put them on mine so others can do the same) and I'm not "acting my age." I'm sorry I'm not 40 but when you hang out with a group of people that is 16-26, sometimes you post "juvenile" things and people are welcome to comment about them, APPROPRIATELY. If someone isn't sure of what that means, maybe you should think about what would bother you if it was a comment on your page.
Oh... For the record, for anyone who is going to continue sending me stupid forward's after I have asked you to stop, I will not be receiving any messages from you at all because I am blocking your e-mail address.
And if you missed the THING September 8, you can read my talk if you want, just let me know. I'm told it gives a lot of insight into who I am and what I stand for.
I was at a birthday party a couple of weeks ago with a friend. As we drove away afterwards, I commented to her, "I'm probably being talked about." I said it very matter-of-factly... I knew that some of the people that were there weren't going to have anything nice to say about me. Honestly, in the past it would have bothered me but I have come to realize that those people who choose to talk about me behind my back are those who aren't worth my time or energy. It bothers me to think that some of the people I consider "friends" do that to me and I don't do or say anything to stop them. But, because of the way I have been raised, I am more likely to be a doormat than to stand up for myself. Or, that's how it USED to be.
So, sometimes I feel as though I am invisible. I have to admit, I prefer it. When it’s a “you’re part of this group and you fit in so we know you’re here even if it doesn’t seem like it” it’s fine. When it’s “you’re not important enough to acknowledge” that it bothers me. When I was growing up, I was “one of the guys” and I liked that role because it didn’t matter what I wore, who was around, or whatever, because in the long run, I was one of the group and that’s what mattered. I miss times like that sometimes… I have an awesome group of friends for the most part. I have some friends that tend to only talk to me or hang out with me when it is beneficial to them. They treat me as though I am ok to spend time with when others are busy, they need a ride, or something done then they call me.
I'm done. I hate being judged and OF COURSE I care what my friends think. But, instead of people talking to me, they slander me in a public forum and expect I'll never hear about it. As for the doormat aspect of my personality, I'm done with it. If you don't like something I have said or done over time, I would rather know about it. But for the time being, I'm going to stand up for myself and screw anyone who doesn't like it.
Oh, and for those of you who felt it was okay to slander me in some way, know that I won't soon forget but I won't do anything to retaliate because it's not who I am. As for other comments made on things such as Facebook and Nexopia, I LOVE that I post many of the same things as my friends do (because I answered a few and then put them on mine so others can do the same) and I'm not "acting my age." I'm sorry I'm not 40 but when you hang out with a group of people that is 16-26, sometimes you post "juvenile" things and people are welcome to comment about them, APPROPRIATELY. If someone isn't sure of what that means, maybe you should think about what would bother you if it was a comment on your page.
Oh... For the record, for anyone who is going to continue sending me stupid forward's after I have asked you to stop, I will not be receiving any messages from you at all because I am blocking your e-mail address.
And if you missed the THING September 8, you can read my talk if you want, just let me know. I'm told it gives a lot of insight into who I am and what I stand for.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Relationships, Work and Complications...
I'm not sure what I think about relationships. A relationship is generally defined (and no, I'm not using a dictionary, this is a "life experience definition") as a genuine warmth or affection that derives from a commonality, or more than one, that two people share. I have always considered some of those "commonalities" as being things like trust, respect, honesty, and so forth. To me, these are BIG things. But lately, I have been letting some of those things slide. Mainly because I had decided that while I am really busy, my friends and so forth much be as well and therefore probably don't have as much time to do things, talk, etc. I think my error in thinking was that they didn't have the time, as because I was busy, I wasn't putting as much effort into our friendships as I normally would. I came to a few realizations though... I have been a doormat over time for a lot of people and have been letting them get away with a lot of stuff that I wouldn't normally. I'd love to say it's just because I've been so busy but honestly, it's more because I didn't want to rock the boat. I have been lied to, my character has been assassinated, I have gotten into stupid little arguments that had no purpose and just made us feel bad overall and have been treated as though my opinion doesn't matter. I am not saying I'm blameless. I've been so stressed that I haven't wanted to tell anyone and I have basically been bottling it up. When that happens, I eventually blow up, normally in an emotional way which isn't necessarily healthy. I have come to realize that while becoming silent instead of yelling is better, emotions are a good way to express what feelings are happening but not if they make you thin-skinned and feeling vulnerable. My problem is that when I feel vulnerable, I am sarcastic or I lash out unintentionally to keep people from getting too close. It's something that I am getting better at but then again, the silent treatment really isn't any better! Also, if I am going to put myself out there to get to know someone better, they need to be willing to put almost equal effort into it because it's not fair if I am pouring all I am and have into it and they do nada...
Now, I have been working insane hours and keeping myself busy with many work-related things and while I really love my job some days, in the past few, I have been feeling really tired and drained. I alternately love and hate being at Sunridge, I miss and then don't the people at the other store, I want things to be perfect because I'm a perfectionist and I tend to work myself hard because I don't want the rest of the staff to think I am slacking in any way! One of the girls at work commented today that I am constantly in motion... I didn't really realize it but when I am at work, I am. And after stepping down funny yesterday and pulling something in my ankle and foot, I wasn't moving as fast as I normally would today. By the end of the day today, my foot was really sore and I wanted to sit but wouldn't allow myself to. It's just the whole "not showing weakness at work" thing... It's stupid and in my head but I didn't want to slack. Plus, I couldn't ask the girls to work if I was chilling in the back room. :P
I love my staff... We are all fairly sarcastic but we get along really well and sometimes it's funny to see who is going to have a "blonde moment" or who is going to whine about something. Today, we were having a "squeaking" problem and ended up talking like "Valley Girls" but it got better as they day progressed. lol, it's going to be weird when we all split up to go back to school in the fall. Only 2 of the girls are staying on full-time (plus me and the new Manager as I'm staying as the Assistant) but the other girls have school and won't be able to work other than some evenings and weekends pretty much. It will definitely be a different vibe than it has been this summer but I'm looking forward to it. I am beginning to like change (within reason) and I like the people I am working with!
This semester I had decided to go back to the U of L and finish off my minor(s). I am only two or so courses away from my English minor and 3 away from a Psych minor, should I decide to do that as well. I am looking forward to it but also dreading it! The only way to explain is that I am finished my degree so it's not as much "GET IT DONE!!!" pressure but it's also a lot of "get good marks!" pressure and I'm trying not to overthink things now because if I do, by 3 months from now, I'm going to be burning out from working and going to school and I don't want that happening. For now, I am taking 4 courses but one is a music class that I didn't take during my undergrad and I may decide not to take it. I only need 3 courses to be full-time and I don't want to kill myself. I almost did that last semester between being sick and finishing my degree. In the fall I will see about applying to get into Education somewhere, otherwise, I will worry about that towards the beginning of the Winter/Spring semester. One of the other reasons I am dreading going back right now is I lived in the same place for 3 years, uprooted and moved somewhere else last year and now we're moving again. But while we have found an apartment (my bro and I), our parents are talking about buying a house in Lethbridge. Mainly so the dog can move in as well and that way we have some space. Plus, then we aren't paying someone else's mortgage... We did that this past year basically and it was a pain! But because it's a little over a week away and we're not 100% sure what's going on, it's not very fun right now!
Anyway, I need sleep, I'm working at 9am...
Now, I have been working insane hours and keeping myself busy with many work-related things and while I really love my job some days, in the past few, I have been feeling really tired and drained. I alternately love and hate being at Sunridge, I miss and then don't the people at the other store, I want things to be perfect because I'm a perfectionist and I tend to work myself hard because I don't want the rest of the staff to think I am slacking in any way! One of the girls at work commented today that I am constantly in motion... I didn't really realize it but when I am at work, I am. And after stepping down funny yesterday and pulling something in my ankle and foot, I wasn't moving as fast as I normally would today. By the end of the day today, my foot was really sore and I wanted to sit but wouldn't allow myself to. It's just the whole "not showing weakness at work" thing... It's stupid and in my head but I didn't want to slack. Plus, I couldn't ask the girls to work if I was chilling in the back room. :P
I love my staff... We are all fairly sarcastic but we get along really well and sometimes it's funny to see who is going to have a "blonde moment" or who is going to whine about something. Today, we were having a "squeaking" problem and ended up talking like "Valley Girls" but it got better as they day progressed. lol, it's going to be weird when we all split up to go back to school in the fall. Only 2 of the girls are staying on full-time (plus me and the new Manager as I'm staying as the Assistant) but the other girls have school and won't be able to work other than some evenings and weekends pretty much. It will definitely be a different vibe than it has been this summer but I'm looking forward to it. I am beginning to like change (within reason) and I like the people I am working with!
This semester I had decided to go back to the U of L and finish off my minor(s). I am only two or so courses away from my English minor and 3 away from a Psych minor, should I decide to do that as well. I am looking forward to it but also dreading it! The only way to explain is that I am finished my degree so it's not as much "GET IT DONE!!!" pressure but it's also a lot of "get good marks!" pressure and I'm trying not to overthink things now because if I do, by 3 months from now, I'm going to be burning out from working and going to school and I don't want that happening. For now, I am taking 4 courses but one is a music class that I didn't take during my undergrad and I may decide not to take it. I only need 3 courses to be full-time and I don't want to kill myself. I almost did that last semester between being sick and finishing my degree. In the fall I will see about applying to get into Education somewhere, otherwise, I will worry about that towards the beginning of the Winter/Spring semester. One of the other reasons I am dreading going back right now is I lived in the same place for 3 years, uprooted and moved somewhere else last year and now we're moving again. But while we have found an apartment (my bro and I), our parents are talking about buying a house in Lethbridge. Mainly so the dog can move in as well and that way we have some space. Plus, then we aren't paying someone else's mortgage... We did that this past year basically and it was a pain! But because it's a little over a week away and we're not 100% sure what's going on, it's not very fun right now!
Anyway, I need sleep, I'm working at 9am...
Monday, August 20, 2007
Reflection...
It's interesting to look back over time and see how life has changed. Or, how life has changed who you have become. 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago... What was important then doesn't seem as important now. Who was important then isn't necessarily as important now.
It seems odd to contemplate that when I was 10, I depended on my parents for almost everything. At 15, I thought the sun rose and set on my friends and family. Without them, it was as though I was nothing. At 20, I did not feel as though my life was as defined by them but yet, I let them define who I was, what I would become and would do with my life. I allowed them to tell me what they thought of me, took it to heart and considered their opinions the be all and end all of opinions in the world. I tried not to care what others thought and while that was not always easy, I did my best. At 15, that was practically impossible. At 20, it was impossible.
I defined who I was based on how others perceived me. Now, I do it as well, just in a different way. I used to use things such as baggy clothes or a ponytail or a big grin on my face or other such techniques to hide what I looked like or how I was feeling. Now, I let my hair do what it is going to, I wear clothes that actually fit, I am honest about how I am feeling and I trust people more. I don't necessarily let their opinions define "me" anymore. It's a hard habit to break though... I think when it comes right down to it, I have stopped caring how people judge me. Mainly because I have come to the conclusion that while I might not always be happy with how I look, what I am wearing, what my hair is doing (or not doing), etc. when it comes down to it, I am an okay person.
I have had people (my friends) telling me recently what a wonderful person I am and how much they love me. For anyone who knows me, they may know that it is awesome to hear but incredibly hard for me to believe. I heard for YEARS the complete opposite of that so while I WANT to believe what they are saying, I am more likely to blow it off or say something sarcastic than to take it to heart. I think that is something that I need to be careful of though. I DO care about people. I DO love my friends and family. I'm glad that they care about me. But when it comes down to it, my head disagrees with what they are saying while my heart is saying, "yes! What they are saying is TRUE!" It's hard to break a bad habit. I used to bite my fingernails, trust me, it's tough. I now only bite them when I am stressed or anxious about something... I think that sarcasm is my way of being defensive. It's as though if I make a joke, no one else can... Or if I make a joke FIRST then I have beat someone else to the punchline. Then whatever they were about to say or whatever they say next won't hurt as much. I'm not really sure why I do that, it just seems to be my self-defence mechanism kicking into effect.
I'm a big believer in making sure that everyone is happy and everything is ok. Why then, can't I be happy? Or ok? With life in general, I have been lately... But when things go well, I doubt it and then I'm not sure how to handle what is coming next. I am trying to be as optimistic as I have been in the past. Sometimes it is hard not to be a "glass half-empty" kind of person and I'd rather my glass is half-full anyway! If anyone has any ideas how to do this, tell me how...
(I am reminded of a Baz Luhrmann song... This song always makes me smile...)
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance - even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
"Brother and sister together we'll make it through,
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you're hurting but I've been waiting there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out
Whenever I can"
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
"brother and sister together we'll make it through,
someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you're hurting but I've been waiting there for you
and I'll be there just helping you out
whenever I can
everybody's free
everybody's free
to feel good"
So, when it comes down to it, I am okay with where my life is at for the most point. But it is tough sometimes... I have people coming at me from all sides telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing and it drives me crazy! I may not always be completely happy with what I have accomplished in my life but that is mainly due to the comparisons that other people make between their lives and mine. There is a BIG difference between lives that divided at 18 and someone who has worked since then and someone who has gone to school. It bothers me that some people don't value education as much as I do and while I try to see their point, I find it very hard as I tend to be made to feel as though because I went to school and took a while deciding what I wanted to do with my education that I am less of a person because I don't have a husband and children yet.
I say YET. I do plan to have a family someday. In the future... Not necessarily next week, next month or even next year but sometime in the future. I love kids. I want to have a family. Just because I have different priorities than some of the people I was (or am) friends with, I don't think that makes me a BAD person, I think it makes me an individual.
I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions and that everyone is allowed to live their lives how THEY want to, without anyone dictating anything to them. I know that I am, quite frankly, sick of people bossing others around and saying things about them when they are not there to defend themselves or know anything about what it being said... Sometimes, life isn't fair and I'm not saying it is supposed to be but what it comes down to is that every person should have an opportunity to live their life the way they want to and make the decisions they are going to, whether things work out for the best or not.
I have to admit, I have had times when I have been the "good girl" and the "bad girl" and it has hit me lately that ultimately, I think I am a bad girl with good girl morals. Which means that I like to have fun and do things that may shock some people but when it comes down to it, I am not going to go against my basic morals and beliefs. I know that may seem odd to others but it is something I have been contemplating for a long time...
It seems odd to contemplate that when I was 10, I depended on my parents for almost everything. At 15, I thought the sun rose and set on my friends and family. Without them, it was as though I was nothing. At 20, I did not feel as though my life was as defined by them but yet, I let them define who I was, what I would become and would do with my life. I allowed them to tell me what they thought of me, took it to heart and considered their opinions the be all and end all of opinions in the world. I tried not to care what others thought and while that was not always easy, I did my best. At 15, that was practically impossible. At 20, it was impossible.
I defined who I was based on how others perceived me. Now, I do it as well, just in a different way. I used to use things such as baggy clothes or a ponytail or a big grin on my face or other such techniques to hide what I looked like or how I was feeling. Now, I let my hair do what it is going to, I wear clothes that actually fit, I am honest about how I am feeling and I trust people more. I don't necessarily let their opinions define "me" anymore. It's a hard habit to break though... I think when it comes right down to it, I have stopped caring how people judge me. Mainly because I have come to the conclusion that while I might not always be happy with how I look, what I am wearing, what my hair is doing (or not doing), etc. when it comes down to it, I am an okay person.
I have had people (my friends) telling me recently what a wonderful person I am and how much they love me. For anyone who knows me, they may know that it is awesome to hear but incredibly hard for me to believe. I heard for YEARS the complete opposite of that so while I WANT to believe what they are saying, I am more likely to blow it off or say something sarcastic than to take it to heart. I think that is something that I need to be careful of though. I DO care about people. I DO love my friends and family. I'm glad that they care about me. But when it comes down to it, my head disagrees with what they are saying while my heart is saying, "yes! What they are saying is TRUE!" It's hard to break a bad habit. I used to bite my fingernails, trust me, it's tough. I now only bite them when I am stressed or anxious about something... I think that sarcasm is my way of being defensive. It's as though if I make a joke, no one else can... Or if I make a joke FIRST then I have beat someone else to the punchline. Then whatever they were about to say or whatever they say next won't hurt as much. I'm not really sure why I do that, it just seems to be my self-defence mechanism kicking into effect.
I'm a big believer in making sure that everyone is happy and everything is ok. Why then, can't I be happy? Or ok? With life in general, I have been lately... But when things go well, I doubt it and then I'm not sure how to handle what is coming next. I am trying to be as optimistic as I have been in the past. Sometimes it is hard not to be a "glass half-empty" kind of person and I'd rather my glass is half-full anyway! If anyone has any ideas how to do this, tell me how...
(I am reminded of a Baz Luhrmann song... This song always makes me smile...)
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance - even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
"Brother and sister together we'll make it through,
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you're hurting but I've been waiting there for you
And I'll be there just helping you out
Whenever I can"
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
"brother and sister together we'll make it through,
someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know that you're hurting but I've been waiting there for you
and I'll be there just helping you out
whenever I can
everybody's free
everybody's free
to feel good"
So, when it comes down to it, I am okay with where my life is at for the most point. But it is tough sometimes... I have people coming at me from all sides telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing and it drives me crazy! I may not always be completely happy with what I have accomplished in my life but that is mainly due to the comparisons that other people make between their lives and mine. There is a BIG difference between lives that divided at 18 and someone who has worked since then and someone who has gone to school. It bothers me that some people don't value education as much as I do and while I try to see their point, I find it very hard as I tend to be made to feel as though because I went to school and took a while deciding what I wanted to do with my education that I am less of a person because I don't have a husband and children yet.
I say YET. I do plan to have a family someday. In the future... Not necessarily next week, next month or even next year but sometime in the future. I love kids. I want to have a family. Just because I have different priorities than some of the people I was (or am) friends with, I don't think that makes me a BAD person, I think it makes me an individual.
I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions and that everyone is allowed to live their lives how THEY want to, without anyone dictating anything to them. I know that I am, quite frankly, sick of people bossing others around and saying things about them when they are not there to defend themselves or know anything about what it being said... Sometimes, life isn't fair and I'm not saying it is supposed to be but what it comes down to is that every person should have an opportunity to live their life the way they want to and make the decisions they are going to, whether things work out for the best or not.
I have to admit, I have had times when I have been the "good girl" and the "bad girl" and it has hit me lately that ultimately, I think I am a bad girl with good girl morals. Which means that I like to have fun and do things that may shock some people but when it comes down to it, I am not going to go against my basic morals and beliefs. I know that may seem odd to others but it is something I have been contemplating for a long time...
Friday, June 22, 2007
The UK...
So, I just got back from the UK.
I have to admit, the trip wasn't exactly what I was expecting it would be. I pictured getting the chance to hop on the train and go to Scotland and check out a few of the smaller cities and towns around Leeds.
As it was, I did spend a day in Manchester with Janet, Shannon and I went to London for 3 days and I got to see Sue and Trev and meet their son Daniel who is just younger than me (23, I believe?) and we saw two broadway shows while we were there.
I LOVED Fame! I was stoked to see it and was glad we had the opportunity to go. :) I also really, really enjoyed Wicked! I wasn't so sure I was going to but I liked it WAY better than I had anticipated! Otherwise, I did a bunch of shopping, got to ride all over London and Leeds by bus and taxi and got to meet a bunch of Shannon's friends.
The night I got there, her friend Melanie was having a house party which we went to. I had fun but I felt a little out of place as they were all "Master's" students and I didn't really know anyone. I ended up chatting with a couple of Shannon's friends (Carly and Ben) and we danced and sang along with a bunch of older American music. :) Things like "RESPECT" by Aretha and others... It was pretty fun. I saw but did not get a chance to meet her friend John that night but we ended up going out for drinks another night with Rati, Dima, Ken and John and I had the chance to sit and chat with all of them. We also went for dinner with Carly another night which was fun. We had Italian (which I LOVE!).
I also had the opportunity to try Thai food for the first time and we went to a Thai-fusion restaurant as well. We also had sushi (I'd had sushi before but not like this place!) and we went to the Hard Rock Cafe (the first one to open) in London and I went to the one in Leeds as well. I love places like that because of their history and there are SO many stories! :) We didn't get a chance to tour the vault in London but I will go back someday! ;)
I loved seeing the sights in London and I want to go back to see Baden-Powell house sometime. The shoppes were amazing but the prices were exorbitant and I don't know how people actually LIVE in London! It was insane! We did go to Harrod's though, which was fun! I also went to Hamley's and bought some random souvenir's there for people. A 6 story toy store, how could I resist! ;)
I enjoyed seeing where Shannon is living and going to school. There is a great little Moroccan place by her flat that was fun! We went there a couple of times for breakfast or lunch. I enjoyed exploring on my own as well! The castles and cathedrals were gorgeous!
We had the time to see a few movies while I was there and they were nice breaks... I also found THE BEST drink ever at Starbucks in the UK! And for the record, McDonald's tastes different... It was cool though, at the movies you could buy little cups of ice cream and they had the little plastic spoon in the lid and everything... It was fun! :) Ben and Jerry's is everywhere there!
Shannon and I had our ups and downs and I think that if I were to do it again, I would probably not spend the entire time staying in one place with one person. I would also rather travel WITH someone as the flights there and back (with the connections) were kind of insane! I'm hoping that we are still friends now that this is all over...
Edit: I DO have pictures from this trip! I just haven't posted them anywhere yet due to being insanely busy with work! I promise I will get them up soon!
I have to admit, the trip wasn't exactly what I was expecting it would be. I pictured getting the chance to hop on the train and go to Scotland and check out a few of the smaller cities and towns around Leeds.
As it was, I did spend a day in Manchester with Janet, Shannon and I went to London for 3 days and I got to see Sue and Trev and meet their son Daniel who is just younger than me (23, I believe?) and we saw two broadway shows while we were there.
I LOVED Fame! I was stoked to see it and was glad we had the opportunity to go. :) I also really, really enjoyed Wicked! I wasn't so sure I was going to but I liked it WAY better than I had anticipated! Otherwise, I did a bunch of shopping, got to ride all over London and Leeds by bus and taxi and got to meet a bunch of Shannon's friends.
The night I got there, her friend Melanie was having a house party which we went to. I had fun but I felt a little out of place as they were all "Master's" students and I didn't really know anyone. I ended up chatting with a couple of Shannon's friends (Carly and Ben) and we danced and sang along with a bunch of older American music. :) Things like "RESPECT" by Aretha and others... It was pretty fun. I saw but did not get a chance to meet her friend John that night but we ended up going out for drinks another night with Rati, Dima, Ken and John and I had the chance to sit and chat with all of them. We also went for dinner with Carly another night which was fun. We had Italian (which I LOVE!).
I also had the opportunity to try Thai food for the first time and we went to a Thai-fusion restaurant as well. We also had sushi (I'd had sushi before but not like this place!) and we went to the Hard Rock Cafe (the first one to open) in London and I went to the one in Leeds as well. I love places like that because of their history and there are SO many stories! :) We didn't get a chance to tour the vault in London but I will go back someday! ;)
I loved seeing the sights in London and I want to go back to see Baden-Powell house sometime. The shoppes were amazing but the prices were exorbitant and I don't know how people actually LIVE in London! It was insane! We did go to Harrod's though, which was fun! I also went to Hamley's and bought some random souvenir's there for people. A 6 story toy store, how could I resist! ;)
I enjoyed seeing where Shannon is living and going to school. There is a great little Moroccan place by her flat that was fun! We went there a couple of times for breakfast or lunch. I enjoyed exploring on my own as well! The castles and cathedrals were gorgeous!
We had the time to see a few movies while I was there and they were nice breaks... I also found THE BEST drink ever at Starbucks in the UK! And for the record, McDonald's tastes different... It was cool though, at the movies you could buy little cups of ice cream and they had the little plastic spoon in the lid and everything... It was fun! :) Ben and Jerry's is everywhere there!
Shannon and I had our ups and downs and I think that if I were to do it again, I would probably not spend the entire time staying in one place with one person. I would also rather travel WITH someone as the flights there and back (with the connections) were kind of insane! I'm hoping that we are still friends now that this is all over...
Edit: I DO have pictures from this trip! I just haven't posted them anywhere yet due to being insanely busy with work! I promise I will get them up soon!
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Facebook...
Friends, classmates, random people who creep my page... (which I have put a stop to recently...) I have now joined and have become wrapped up in the latest technological advancement when it comes to getting in touch with people from your past. It is weird and awesome at the same time how many people I have "met again" through this website! There are some I went to Elementary with, some I did Brownies or Guides with, some I skated with, some I went to Jr or Sr High with, people I know through choir, from camp and a bunch of people I know through TEC or church. It's funny because some people have joined because I have invited them! It is also funny to see what a small world it truly is as on each of your friend's pages, it shows your "mutual friends" so the connections are sometimes weird! That "six degrees of separation" is SO true that sometimes it is a little scary! *lol* I was talking to someone I went to JH with and she and I have since gone for coffee and it was as though basically no time has passed which was awesome! I'm not sure how often we will get to hang out but for sure I have someone new to talk to on MSN and she knows I'm there if and when she needs me! Many of my friends (and even my mom!) have it and we share stories, quizzes, pictures and other such things which is tons of fun! I am finding lately that I use it more than I use Nex and MySpace combined, for a variety of reasons. I like that it e-mails me when there is something new that directly relates to me. Also, that everything that is new and important with the people I am friends with is right there when I log in so I don't have to surf around to see new things or changes that have been made, I can check them out if I chooe to but it is nice to know what is new/different either way! I'm sure there are people on there that I have yet to find or add but my theory is that they will find/add me if it comes down to it! :)
Anyway, life is going ok right now... I've been keeping busy with school and stuff and while I am feeling a bit overwhelmed currently, I am looking forward to the end of the semester! I got my info for GRADUATION this week!!! I also got my grad photos back from the photographer! If people want them, they need to let me know before my mom sends them off to the rel's in B.C. :) I'm so stoked to be done and I have applied for next year so I just need to be patient and wait! For those people who are praying-types, please pray! :) (Thanks tons! ;D) So, less than two weeks left, exams will be over and I will be FREE for the summer!!! YAAAAY!!!
On another good note, I have a specialist appointment for my knee on the 17th to find out of anything can be done about it. I am both anticipating and dreading this appointment! Oy vay! :S Oh well, nothing really bad can come of it other than knee surgery which at this point may be more of a blessing than a curse!
On that note, I'm off to bed, I need to be up early to bake cinnamon rolls before Holly goes back to Lethbridge! Night! ;)
Anyway, life is going ok right now... I've been keeping busy with school and stuff and while I am feeling a bit overwhelmed currently, I am looking forward to the end of the semester! I got my info for GRADUATION this week!!! I also got my grad photos back from the photographer! If people want them, they need to let me know before my mom sends them off to the rel's in B.C. :) I'm so stoked to be done and I have applied for next year so I just need to be patient and wait! For those people who are praying-types, please pray! :) (Thanks tons! ;D) So, less than two weeks left, exams will be over and I will be FREE for the summer!!! YAAAAY!!!
On another good note, I have a specialist appointment for my knee on the 17th to find out of anything can be done about it. I am both anticipating and dreading this appointment! Oy vay! :S Oh well, nothing really bad can come of it other than knee surgery which at this point may be more of a blessing than a curse!
On that note, I'm off to bed, I need to be up early to bake cinnamon rolls before Holly goes back to Lethbridge! Night! ;)
Friday, March 23, 2007
Amber's House. :)
Tonight, we went to Amber's house. This isn't the first time but the vibe from the people who went tonight was completely different. See, last time it was Jordan, Matt, Amber, Kurtis, Jade, the parental units and I. This time, the parents were around but it was Kurtis, Jade, Amber, John and I. We had fun. :) We played Rummoli and it was good because we weren't TOO competitive. The only thing was, John didn't know that Jade doesn't know about the current situation with the others and was making occasional jokes. I texted him (keep in mind we're sitting beside each other) that "Jade doesn't know." I get back, "about tard and sis?" to which I replied out loud, "yes." It was rather amusing that we were texting each other while sitting next to one another. Almost as good as the night Amber and I were texting each other across the table. :P I almost killed Kurtis though! I told him to "bite me" at one point and he said, "I'll let Nathan do that!" I'm not 100% sure what he meant by that but thank God John didn't notice! I'm not sure how I feel about Nathan right now... I think that may be a "one step at a time" kind of thing...
Monday, March 12, 2007
"The life and times..."
*lol* I could be writing a newspaper with a title like that one!
So, I have fought health problems and money problems. I haven't worked basically since the end of December with the exception of a few hours over reading week before I relapsed health-wise and then ended up being majorly sick again. I have been having some guy "issues" (needless to say, I think many people with a Y chromosome need to pull their heads out of their butts) and I have figured out that while I love many of my friends, some of them I can only handle for small periods of time. Lately some of them have been getting on my nerves more than usual and while I occasionally chalk it up to it being my time or their time of the month, when it is a guy, I'm not sure what to blame it on.
I have been spending a TON of time with Amber lately. So much, in fact that her mom has commented that she seems to be running away from home (or something similar). In reality, I'm out of town from Sunday night to Friday afternoon and we hang out when we can all weekend. Some weekends she crashes at my house overnight, other weekends we hang out until really late and then I make sure she has a way to get home (either I drive her or someone else does). It's the same way I hang out with Em many times. Lately, we have been spending a TON of time at my house as a group. The group has changed a bit lately. It has expanded to include a couple of John's friends, Kurtis and Nathan. Also, Matt hasn't been hanging out with us as much and Jordan has brought Jeremy a couple of times. Em brought Minetta a couple of times as well. :)
It's interesting and weird hanging out with a group of people that is quite a bit younger than me. I have friends who are my age and older but what it comes down to is that many of them are couples or are married and many of them are planning weddings, having children, already have families established or are into things that don't have anything to do with school or youth group-type activities. I love hanging out with all of my friends, no matter who they are or how old they are. I don't believe in judging someone based on age. That being said, I'm not saying that applies to all aspects of my life. Anyone who knows me knows that I have an age limit (older and younger) when it comes to dating but I don't think it has to apply to friendships necessarily. A few of my closest friends are younger than me and for now, that is fine with me.
On that topic but as a slight aside, I do miss some of the people I used to be friends with. But if they "haven't changed" or "can't see" how I've changed then I don't need the bs of dealing with them. Apparently our friendships were "all about" me, which wasn't my intention but if that is how they see it, that is their perception and not something I can change. To be honest, nor is it something I am going to go out of my way to try and change. I made that decision months ago. It's funny (in a sad, not a "haha" kind of way) but I've heard that a few people I used to be really close to have recently gotten into other relationships, had kids, changed their phone numbers or moved and I am happy that some of their personal goals have been achieved. It does suck that they felt that they had to cut me out of their lives but that's fine. I'm actually more content with who I am now then I have been in a long time.
Self-confidence and self-esteem... Gosh... These are two things that I have always struggled with. I have to admit, I'm not the prettiest, smartest, skinniest or anything ending in "est" out of any of my friends. Hell, I'm not even the loudest! *lol* I was hanging out with some of my friends this weekend after THING and we went to Peter's and then went back to my house and played "Boxers or Briefs?" I don't remember the last time I have laughed so hard. I am the person who makes jokes about myself before anyone else can. But this group of people (Tammy, John S., Matt, Jordan, Em, Kurtis, Amber, Adam and I) were having so much fun and were so comfortable together that I didn't have to worry about it.
Anyway, there is so much more I could say but I am tired and fighting the end of a migraine so I'm going to bed... Night! :)
So, I have fought health problems and money problems. I haven't worked basically since the end of December with the exception of a few hours over reading week before I relapsed health-wise and then ended up being majorly sick again. I have been having some guy "issues" (needless to say, I think many people with a Y chromosome need to pull their heads out of their butts) and I have figured out that while I love many of my friends, some of them I can only handle for small periods of time. Lately some of them have been getting on my nerves more than usual and while I occasionally chalk it up to it being my time or their time of the month, when it is a guy, I'm not sure what to blame it on.
I have been spending a TON of time with Amber lately. So much, in fact that her mom has commented that she seems to be running away from home (or something similar). In reality, I'm out of town from Sunday night to Friday afternoon and we hang out when we can all weekend. Some weekends she crashes at my house overnight, other weekends we hang out until really late and then I make sure she has a way to get home (either I drive her or someone else does). It's the same way I hang out with Em many times. Lately, we have been spending a TON of time at my house as a group. The group has changed a bit lately. It has expanded to include a couple of John's friends, Kurtis and Nathan. Also, Matt hasn't been hanging out with us as much and Jordan has brought Jeremy a couple of times. Em brought Minetta a couple of times as well. :)
It's interesting and weird hanging out with a group of people that is quite a bit younger than me. I have friends who are my age and older but what it comes down to is that many of them are couples or are married and many of them are planning weddings, having children, already have families established or are into things that don't have anything to do with school or youth group-type activities. I love hanging out with all of my friends, no matter who they are or how old they are. I don't believe in judging someone based on age. That being said, I'm not saying that applies to all aspects of my life. Anyone who knows me knows that I have an age limit (older and younger) when it comes to dating but I don't think it has to apply to friendships necessarily. A few of my closest friends are younger than me and for now, that is fine with me.
On that topic but as a slight aside, I do miss some of the people I used to be friends with. But if they "haven't changed" or "can't see" how I've changed then I don't need the bs of dealing with them. Apparently our friendships were "all about" me, which wasn't my intention but if that is how they see it, that is their perception and not something I can change. To be honest, nor is it something I am going to go out of my way to try and change. I made that decision months ago. It's funny (in a sad, not a "haha" kind of way) but I've heard that a few people I used to be really close to have recently gotten into other relationships, had kids, changed their phone numbers or moved and I am happy that some of their personal goals have been achieved. It does suck that they felt that they had to cut me out of their lives but that's fine. I'm actually more content with who I am now then I have been in a long time.
Self-confidence and self-esteem... Gosh... These are two things that I have always struggled with. I have to admit, I'm not the prettiest, smartest, skinniest or anything ending in "est" out of any of my friends. Hell, I'm not even the loudest! *lol* I was hanging out with some of my friends this weekend after THING and we went to Peter's and then went back to my house and played "Boxers or Briefs?" I don't remember the last time I have laughed so hard. I am the person who makes jokes about myself before anyone else can. But this group of people (Tammy, John S., Matt, Jordan, Em, Kurtis, Amber, Adam and I) were having so much fun and were so comfortable together that I didn't have to worry about it.
Anyway, there is so much more I could say but I am tired and fighting the end of a migraine so I'm going to bed... Night! :)
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
School...
Ok, so I'm not a straight A student and I never will be. I have resigned myself to that fact and although I still work my ass off in most of my classes, I do the best I can and still don't get the marks I always want. So today, I had a listening exam in my history class. I know, most of you are like, "a listening exam? Easy!" Here's the thing... They are all classical works, there are approximately 15 works, plus a few of them have more than one movement. So, I needed to know them, know the composer and know why the composer was important. I know this stuff! But I was diagnosed as "disabled" a couple of years ago because I wasn't testing well and no one knew why. Turns out, it's not that I "suck" at tests, it's that I am really easily distracted and that my being in the classroom with my peers makes it worse. So, I'm allowed to write in a separate location and I get some extra time, plus I can write (type... whatever!) on a laptop or computer. But today the professor didn't have the accomodations set up the way they were supposed to be and I wrote in the classroom. I am 100% sure that I BOMBED it! :( I guess it means that I will have to work my ass off on the paper and project in this class... :( I found that I was SO distracted that I got things mixed up and didn't remember stupid things like spelling of composers names. I think that when I get the mark back, I might get a better mark than I am anticipating but I am trying not to be too optimistic or pessimistic either way. :P
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Pneumonia Sucks... Or, the trials and tribulations of being sick.
Ok, so I was feeling slightly ill on January 1st and consdering I hadn't been drinking the night before, I found that odd but just went to bed early and didn't think much of it. So, when I woke up on the 2nd and was feeling like I had been it by a truck (dizzy, nauseous, sore throat, congested, etc.) so I called in sick (which I NEVER do, my boss seriously thought I was dying) and slept for most of the day. I saw a doctor the next day and was told I had a sinus infection which I get a lot of so I figured, "oh well, another one" and took the prescription and left. I was supposed to be back in class by the 4th and that wasn't going to happen. My mom and I drove down to Lethbridge on the 5th to buy my textbooks and I slept the entire way down and back in the passenger seat. By that weekend, I was feeling worse.
My mom took me to the Foothills because all of the walk-in clinics were booked solid and not taking anymore patients and they were on 10-11 hour wait. She called the Health-Link number and was told she should take me to the High River or Strathmore hospital's because neither of them takes trauma patients. So, she packed me back into the car and we drove to High River. After 4 hours in their emergency room, I was told I also had bronchitis. I hate being sick and while I don't normally let it knock me flat, by that point, I was willing to take whatever they were going to give me. I was barely eating and pretty much living on Green Tea and water. So, the doctor gave me a prescription for Robitussin with codeine and I took it once and it made me throw up. I figured it had to do with the food I tried to eat before taking it and tried again and the same thing happened. So, we're (my mom and I) not sure if I'm allergic to Robitussin or codeine. I've taken stuff with codeine before and never had a problem but it also could have been my body rejecting it.
By Thursday of that week, I was still hacking up a lung, I only had two days of my original prescription left and I was so unsteady on my feet it was stupid. I went to the walk-in clinic by my house and the doctor there sent me for blood work and x-rays (which he was surprised no one had done yet) and he gave me a new prescription. The clinic where I had my bloodwork done made me lay down because they were afraid I was going to pass out. (Apparently I looked like crap...) The next morning, I got a phone call from the clinic telling me I had microplasm(ic?) pneumonia in my right lung. It made me feel a bit better (mentally anyway) to know that I wasn't stupid and coughing all the time for no reason.
So, I went back in to check in with the doctor a week later and was told that I wasn't allowed to go back to school until after Jan. 21 and even then, I had to take it easy. I went to the Orchestra Cabaret with my mom, my brother, Emily, Jordan, Bradford, his friend Vicky and my friend Steve and while I didn't dance (it would have probably knocked me flat on my butt) it was nice to see my friends and mingle a bit. I mostly sat at the table and chatted with people. Plus, my mom and I had a bunch of stuff that was donated to the silent auction so we wanted to see how it went. I donated a bunch of bracelets I made and a watch and such and while they were listed as "anonymous donor" apparently a couple of people knew and they mentioned it to other people... On one hand, it was cool to get kudos for my designs but on the other, I was having a hard time accepting them... Either way, they seem to have sold well, my mom actually ended up buying a couple with a metronome (they were a "package") and I bought a mani/pedi thing and negotiated with a friend so I ended up with the bear from the Valentine's Gift Basket we had donated (he's a Build-a-Bear and he's wearing a bee suit and it says "Bee Mine") and some movie passes for John and Holly. All in all, it was a good night.
I went back to class on Jan. 22 and I felt like I was WAY behind. I was still pretty wobbly and my mom didn't want me driving so I didn't have my car down here... I took a cab to and from school (with the exception of a couple of days when John picked me up) and it made life very interesting. I had missed almost three weeks of class. This semester, I'm taking Kinesiology 1000 (its my last General Elective and Social Science requirement), Music 3000 - Seminar in Music History: Electronic Music post-1945, Orchestra and Musicianship IV. The only course I don't need to graduate at this point is Orchestra and the others are all required in some form. I can't currently play in Orchestra and it's frustrating. I tried once and it caused me to have a major asthma attack, or what felt like one anyway. In regards to my classes, it's funny (in an ironic kind of way) because Kines 1000 is the prerequisite for almost every other Kines class and I have a bunch of senior level classes but not that one. I'm looking forward to finishing it as some days, I feel as though I know a lot of it and I've "heard it before" and it's frustrating at times. I'm still getting caught up to a point and it's annoying. I hate homework some days and most days right now, I have hours and hours of it. I have labs for Kines, listenings for Musicianship and History, Chapter summaries for History, etc. and I'm finding it overwhelming... Gah! All I want to do some days is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and just ignore the rest of the world!
On the 26th, I went in for a check-up and follow-up x-rays. The doctor I saw said he'd rather wait a week as pneumonia will do damage to the lung and it would be hard to tell anything. I was just finished my prescription and he said I would still be coughing and to take my inhalers but not to worry too much and come back Thursday or Friday the following week. So, Thursday I went in for x-rays. When the doctor came in to look at the x-rays and then called me in, I still have infection in my right lung and there is also infection showing on the x-rays in my left lung. So, I'm back on meds. It makes more sense as to why I have still been feeling tired and coughing a lot. I hate being sick and while I am told that the new meds should kill this, I have already been told that twice and I am going to go at least check in with someone later this week. I have to say, I'm glad that we don't pay per doctor's visit. I hate doctor's as it is but lately, I have seen a lot of them. :(
My mom took me to the Foothills because all of the walk-in clinics were booked solid and not taking anymore patients and they were on 10-11 hour wait. She called the Health-Link number and was told she should take me to the High River or Strathmore hospital's because neither of them takes trauma patients. So, she packed me back into the car and we drove to High River. After 4 hours in their emergency room, I was told I also had bronchitis. I hate being sick and while I don't normally let it knock me flat, by that point, I was willing to take whatever they were going to give me. I was barely eating and pretty much living on Green Tea and water. So, the doctor gave me a prescription for Robitussin with codeine and I took it once and it made me throw up. I figured it had to do with the food I tried to eat before taking it and tried again and the same thing happened. So, we're (my mom and I) not sure if I'm allergic to Robitussin or codeine. I've taken stuff with codeine before and never had a problem but it also could have been my body rejecting it.
By Thursday of that week, I was still hacking up a lung, I only had two days of my original prescription left and I was so unsteady on my feet it was stupid. I went to the walk-in clinic by my house and the doctor there sent me for blood work and x-rays (which he was surprised no one had done yet) and he gave me a new prescription. The clinic where I had my bloodwork done made me lay down because they were afraid I was going to pass out. (Apparently I looked like crap...) The next morning, I got a phone call from the clinic telling me I had microplasm(ic?) pneumonia in my right lung. It made me feel a bit better (mentally anyway) to know that I wasn't stupid and coughing all the time for no reason.
So, I went back in to check in with the doctor a week later and was told that I wasn't allowed to go back to school until after Jan. 21 and even then, I had to take it easy. I went to the Orchestra Cabaret with my mom, my brother, Emily, Jordan, Bradford, his friend Vicky and my friend Steve and while I didn't dance (it would have probably knocked me flat on my butt) it was nice to see my friends and mingle a bit. I mostly sat at the table and chatted with people. Plus, my mom and I had a bunch of stuff that was donated to the silent auction so we wanted to see how it went. I donated a bunch of bracelets I made and a watch and such and while they were listed as "anonymous donor" apparently a couple of people knew and they mentioned it to other people... On one hand, it was cool to get kudos for my designs but on the other, I was having a hard time accepting them... Either way, they seem to have sold well, my mom actually ended up buying a couple with a metronome (they were a "package") and I bought a mani/pedi thing and negotiated with a friend so I ended up with the bear from the Valentine's Gift Basket we had donated (he's a Build-a-Bear and he's wearing a bee suit and it says "Bee Mine") and some movie passes for John and Holly. All in all, it was a good night.
I went back to class on Jan. 22 and I felt like I was WAY behind. I was still pretty wobbly and my mom didn't want me driving so I didn't have my car down here... I took a cab to and from school (with the exception of a couple of days when John picked me up) and it made life very interesting. I had missed almost three weeks of class. This semester, I'm taking Kinesiology 1000 (its my last General Elective and Social Science requirement), Music 3000 - Seminar in Music History: Electronic Music post-1945, Orchestra and Musicianship IV. The only course I don't need to graduate at this point is Orchestra and the others are all required in some form. I can't currently play in Orchestra and it's frustrating. I tried once and it caused me to have a major asthma attack, or what felt like one anyway. In regards to my classes, it's funny (in an ironic kind of way) because Kines 1000 is the prerequisite for almost every other Kines class and I have a bunch of senior level classes but not that one. I'm looking forward to finishing it as some days, I feel as though I know a lot of it and I've "heard it before" and it's frustrating at times. I'm still getting caught up to a point and it's annoying. I hate homework some days and most days right now, I have hours and hours of it. I have labs for Kines, listenings for Musicianship and History, Chapter summaries for History, etc. and I'm finding it overwhelming... Gah! All I want to do some days is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and just ignore the rest of the world!
On the 26th, I went in for a check-up and follow-up x-rays. The doctor I saw said he'd rather wait a week as pneumonia will do damage to the lung and it would be hard to tell anything. I was just finished my prescription and he said I would still be coughing and to take my inhalers but not to worry too much and come back Thursday or Friday the following week. So, Thursday I went in for x-rays. When the doctor came in to look at the x-rays and then called me in, I still have infection in my right lung and there is also infection showing on the x-rays in my left lung. So, I'm back on meds. It makes more sense as to why I have still been feeling tired and coughing a lot. I hate being sick and while I am told that the new meds should kill this, I have already been told that twice and I am going to go at least check in with someone later this week. I have to say, I'm glad that we don't pay per doctor's visit. I hate doctor's as it is but lately, I have seen a lot of them. :(
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